By Ted Fontaine
By Ted Fontaine
Filing Cabinet: An overflowing box next to the wastepaper can.
In Box: A pile of papers that sits next to you.
Out box: In box overflow.
Hold Box: Filing Cabinet.
Desk: Filing Cabinet Overflow.
Mail: Something that you lost.
Copy Machine: Something to sit on.
Message Machine: Something that has a blinking number display with a mysterious three digit number that you have yet to deciper the meaning of.
Bill: Something that you forgot to pay.
Contract: A piece of paper that you are supposed to sign without drawing little pictures all over it.
Office Assistant: A person that avoids you.
Boss: Somebody that you have successfully fooled into believing that you are organized.
Immediate Supervisor: Somebody that is on to you but likes you and is willing to help cover up the fact that you can't tell the difference between a filing cabinet and a waste paper can.
Schedule: The moment you remember you have been staring at a clock for the last two hours.
Memo Pad: Something to draw on.
Date Book: Something else do draw on that has neat little squares to draw in.
Suit: Something you bought for some reason that hangs in a plastic bag in your closet.
Potted Plant: Your very best friend at work.
Cubicle: Desk Overflow.
Hallway: Cubicle Overflow.
Flow Chart: A Mondrian.
Standard Operating Procedure: The period of time before you realize you have been staring at the wall clock for two hours.
Stock: Something you inherit.
Marketing Executive: Traitor
