Is Meg really Jack's Sister?
Is Meg really Jack's Ex-Wife?

NO, these are just cleverly devised white lies released through the media to distract us from THE TRUTH. Regardless of her actual relationship to Jack, the real Meg died in a car crash sometime during the mid-nineties and Jack replaced her with A ROBOT. The key to secretly replacing your band mate with a robot, as in magic, is MISDIRECTION. But through careful examination of the EVIDENCE, we can see it all quite clearly.

THIS JUST IN!

Icky Thump Clues:
Better late than never?

Liner notes:

"I do like impressions though. I once saw a man completely impersonate another man who was not unlike himself if you thought about it. Which I did." Jack is the ultimate impressionist. He created a robot to impersonate Meg.

"Feels like ghosts do walk among us / And I guess, it looks, as if it feels." The Megbot is so realistic that it seems like Meg's ghost walks among us. The impression is believable. Megbot looks as though it is alive and can feel.

Thank you "to need, the mother of all invention." Jack needed a drummer, so he invented Megbot.

"And so sorry to anyone...we've misled." Jack feels badly for fooling his fans.

Lyrics:

Icky Thump: "..looking dead...She had one white eye / one black(nk) stare / lookin' up / lyin' there." When the Megbot is powered off, she looks dead and her eyes are blank.

You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You're Told): The Megbot is a robot, and does not experience emotions such as love. It only does what it's programmed to do.

300 M.P.H. Torrential Outpour Blues: "I'm calling out to ghosts / That are no longer there." Jack is no longer haunted by Meg's death.

Bone Broke: "Look closer you can see / How I been running it." Through careful examination of the evidence, you can see that Jack replaced Meg with a robot.

St. Andrew (This Battle Is In the Air): "I'm not in my home / Where are the angels? The Children are crying" St. Andrew is the patron saint of singers and performers. Meg, deceased, asks him not to forsake her. Candy Cane Children mourn the loss of Meg.

Little Cream Soda: "Well every beautiful thing I come across / Tells me to stop moving and shake this riddle off." Jack would like to give up the masquerade. "But now my mind is filled with ... whether I'm a liar." He is worried about the consequences of his actions.

Rag & Bone: "It's just things that you don't want. I can use it. Meg can use 'em. We'll do something with 'em. We'll make something out of them. (Meg whispers: This fits me perfect. Give it to me.)" Much of the materials used to create the Megbot were recycled. However, Jack does not like the band to be referred to as "green."

Catch Hell Blues: "Guess what? Try and catch me. If you're getting tricky / lying to yourself / You're gonna catch hell. And if you're testing God / And lying to his face / You're gonna catch hell. I know it..." Jack mocks me. But he also fears that by attempting to create life he has tested God.

Effect and Cause: "I guess you have to have a problem /If you want to invent a contraption." Meg's death was problematic for Jack, so he invented Megbot.

Jack and a SKELETON in the studio recording Icky Thump:
CLUE!!!

Reader submitted clue! WSCR reader, Aaron W., writes, "Both Jack and Meg smoked. A few years ago, Jack quit. Meg didn't though. Surely Jack would have convinced her to quit. You know why she didn't? Her mouth is an exhaust port, and she uses the cigarette to explain the smoke coming from her mouth, as a cover up. I don't know if you already got this, I never saw it on your website. But after I found out it just seemed really obvious." Thanks to Aaron for pointing out what was being hidden in plain site. after I found out it just seemed really obvious.

Hi Paul!
I've secretly always wanted someone to ask me if I'd heard that Meg White is a robot. Now, finally, WW's life is complete.

Megbot on Myspace:
I've stopped fighting the inevitable: you may now visit Megbot on MySpace. Add her as a friend if you like (last name required: White).

Free "iloverobots" download:
Yes, now you too can be sorta just like me! Want an "iloverobots" t-shirt just like the one that I wore to the St. Paul show in July of 2003? Download this gif then print it on t-shirt transfer paper. Follow manufacturers instructions, and voilá! Or, if you'd prefer, head on over to my cafepress shop on the "buy" page for t-shirts and stickers for the whole family unit. All proceeds go to the "Send Wilhelmina to Library School" fund.

***

Thank you to anyone who has sent me "evidence." However, I cannot stress this enough--please do not to try to force the Megbot's hand. That means: no throwing drinks in its face in an attempt to short-circuit it, no electrical shocks, no stabbing it to see if it bleeds. You'll only endanger your life and the lives of others should Megbot malfunction or explode.

The future librarian in me urges you to learn about evaluating websites, especially point number 5.

Jack, can I be your sister too?