Just One Mans Opinion
To Whom it Make Concern or Who Ever!!
I know that no matter how big Jennifer Lopez's ass gets, I'll still
want to see it. I don't celebrate Kwanzaa. I believe that if you are
selling me a Big Mac, you do it in English. I like my porn without silicon.
I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a Shield for unpopular
opinions or actions. I want to know when MTV became such crap. I
think getting a hummer is sex, and every man is entitled to at least one
extremely sloppy day per month.
I know what the definition of lying is. I think Oprah's eyes are way
too far apart. I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet.
I don't think the Taco Bell dog is funny. I want them to bring back
safe and sane fireworks.
I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T
or Marilyn Manson sang. I think that being a student doesn't give you
any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. I don't want to eat
or drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God or gods, and
they can do it in their schools. I think the Clippers should play in the
WNBA. My heroes are Newt Gingrich, John Wayne, Ronald Reagan and
whoever canceled Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. I think creative
violence and useless nudity and sex makes movies more interesting and Iraqis
deader.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. I know wrestling is
fake, but I still think The Rock could kick my butt. I think global
warming is junk science. I've never owned or was a slave, I didn't
wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I
haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither
have you, so shut-the-f***-up already.
Rocky and Bullwinkle still makes me laugh. I think you can respect
and admire women while mentally undressing them. I believe a self-righteous
liberal with a cause is more dangerous than a Play Station. I want to
know which church is it exactly where the Rev. Jessie Jackson preaches.
I think explosions are cool. I don't care where Ellen puts her tongue.
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're
running from them. I thought Spinal Tap was great, but Rob Reiner can
still kiss my backside.
I worry about dying before I get even.
I like the convenience of buying oranges while I'm waiting at a
stop-light, and I'm pretty sure the Latin midget selling them to me is
glad she no longer lives in a refrigerator packing carton outside
Ensenada. I figured out Bruce Willis was dead midway through The
Sixth Sense but enjoyed it anyway. I think turkey bacon sucks. I want
somebody to explain to me exactly why it's wrong to point out that
when I watch a freeway chase, I know the losers the police eventually pull
out of the car are gonna be a gang-banging hommies or vatos.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes a
parent. I think tattoos and piercings are fine if you want them, but
please don't pretend they are a political statement. I like hard women,
hard liquor and a hard bowel movement first thing in the morning. I
believe you don't have to speak with a lisp to pick out a couch for
your living room. I'll admit that the only movies that ever made me cry
was Sand of Iwo Jima and Ole Yeller. I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a
genius until I had a kid. I will not conform or compromise just to
keep from hurting somebody's feelings. Sometimes I throw my soft drink can
in the trash, even when the recycle bin is just a few more steps and I
crush my cigarettes out on the curb. Making love is fine, but sometimes
I wanna get laid.
I'm Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I like big cars, big
cigars and naturally big tits. I believe the money I make belongs to
me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad
comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
I don't care about appearing compassionate. I think playing with guns
doesn't make you a killer. I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a
reason. I think I'm better than the homeless. I don't think being a
minority makes you noble or victimized.
I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the
mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
Singed... A True American MAN!!!
