April 22nd, 2006
Background
I, David Aaron Westphal, was hatched in an underrated city called Omaha in the sparsely-populated and football-crazy state of Nebraska in 1977. Economic conditions forced my family (we was po) to emigrate to Georgia in 1985, when I was in third grade. I enjoyed the irony of bringing my Coke-bottle glasses to the actual home of the drink itself. The fate of being the only boy of four children provided me with a chance for insight into understanding women more than my male peers did. I have since acquiesced this notion because I am just as confused as the other fellows. I graduated from Brookwood High on the east side of Atlanta in 1995. The experience was hardly wonderful because I was in the minority of students who drove a used American vehicle to school. I was more out of place than Osama Bin Laden at a Long Island bar mitzvah. My parents never flaunted their money (because you have to HAVE it to flaunt it), girls talked to me only to ask me if their math was correct, and people heard less dialogue from me than from Marcel Marceau in a wind tunnel. All of this adds up to a tremendous formula for popularity there. You can see why I wished I had gone to Parkview. That and Parkview had quizbowlers who were actually normal (Brookwood mostly did not), which is as rare a sight as Ray Charles winning the Daytona 500.
Then four more years as a full-time student dragged on as I toiled 40 hours a week for peanuts while washing jockstraps and throwing towels at pinheads with GATORS written on their uniforms. However, they were PhDs compared to some of my fellow managers. I saw first-hand why the finest high-school seniors in Florida head to Duke, Emory, Vanderbilt, and Tulane. Someone threw a business degree with a minor in statistics at me (they were free with a combo meal at Arby's) and I headed back to Atlanta faster than Superman with diarrhea. Next, I worked in the financial services industry as an analyst in Duluth, Georgia. I earned an MBA at Georgia Southern and going to school there was great! I graduated the two-year program in December 2003 after only 16 months, and I have been a data analyst in the Atlanta area ever since. I enjoy sports (watching, playing, discussing), movies (watching, quoting, discussing), music (I RULE at the air drums and Alex Van Halen is one of my heroes), trivia (including playing in the Team Trivia league), travel, spending time with family and friends, waxing poetic or philosophical on all subjects, working on this website (busier than a three-dollar hooker), community service (parole officer said I have to), telling jokes, exercise (twelve-ounce curls), and pondering my existence. On November 5, 2001, I met a wonderful woman named Lisa Brookshire, who graduated from McEachern (west side of Atlanta) in 1995. This eastside-westside rivalry has caused many problems in our marriage, as she used to be a Blood and I used to be a Crip. We have overcome many things together, not the least of which is that I prefer Tastes Great and she prefers Less Filling. Honky on Honky domestic violence is on the rise in Georgia. Not too many people understand me or my sense of humor, but I am thrilled to be married to one of them.
I am now a marketing analyst for Logical Choice Technologies, an interactive educational materials firm 22 miles northeast of downtown Atlanta. I report directly to the CEO, as I analyze territories of our sales reps and make recommendations for current markets as well as possible new ones. This is the best job I have ever had and I am looking forward to the move to the new office in Lawrenceville!
This website was originally the property of Amazon.com before I bought the domain name of westphal77 for $3 Billion in 1998 (I sold some baseball cards). It has been a tremendous opportunity for me to infiltrate the untapped Geocities market of the greater Acworth-Woodstock-Cartersville metropolitan area here in northwest Georgia. The following took place between the years of 1977 and now. This is my life, my hobbies, my opinions, and my personality.
My Opinions on Controversial Subjects
Funny State Mottoes (Warning: Strong Language)
Mr. Favre, how would you rank this website?
Yippi Kiyay
