"Thrown" October 7, 2006 — Issue #2— HOME NEXT ISSUE >>

Recommended Reading Related to this Issue's Topic:

Theology of the Body for Beginners

Broken families, abortion, AIDS, Internet pornography, clergy abuse, homosexual "Marriage" — our Church and world is in the midst of a profound sexual crisis.

Is there a way out?

For such a time as this have we been given Pope John Paul II and his "Theology of the Body." Based on the words of Jesus, John Paul II's reflections on the body and sex take us to the root of the modern crisis and chart the path to an authentic
sexual liberation.

Yet the Pope's profound scholarship often intimidates the average person.

In his previous book, Theology of the Body Explained, Christopher West offered a more detailed, five-hundred-page commentary on John Paul II's theology of the body. Here, he provides a short and popular summary of the Pope's revolutionary teaching.

Theology of the Body for Beginners explores the profound interconnections between sex and the deepest questions of human existence, including:

• What is the meaning of life?
  
  
• Why did God create us male and female?
  
  
• How do we attain true happiness on earth?
  
  
• What kind of joys await us in heaven?
  
  
• Why is there evil in the world and how do we overcome it?
  
  
• How can we experience the love we long for in the depth of our hearts?

Yes, those are the questions of life, but check out these:

• What is the real difference between love and lust? Can a man lust after his own wife?
  
  
• Why is renewal of the Church (and society) dependent on the renewal of marriage and the family?
  
  
• How can following all the Church's rules become natural and attractive to us? Why isn't it already?
  
  
• Is the sexual revolution really to blame for so many of our current problems? What enabled the sexual revolution to happen?
  
  
• What will Pope John Paul II's sexual revolution look like?
  
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The Secret to a Happy Marriage

Last week two women in the office were discussing "how one knows he's the 'right one.'" As I listened, it became painfully clear that they believed in the modern myth that "finding the right one" insures a happy marriage, a "happy ending," and an easy happiness to boot—that nothing else is required.

I was compelled to say something.

"The secret to a happy marriage is not simply finding the 'right person.' The secret to a happy marriage is laying down your life, even unto death, for the 'right person!'"

The two women looked at me a long moment, as if the ring of truth registered. But then they realized I spoke of sacrifice and trials rather than romance and magic. And just that quickly, they dismissed it. Or at least, this was my impression. It amazes me what people are willing to believe to avoid sacrifice. It amazes me how much heartache they bring on themselves in a vain attempt to avoid sacrifice.

As usual, we want the Resurrection without the Passion, even though Christ tells us that we must take up our cross to follow Him. Is it any wonder our society is in such a mess? The family, the very bedrock of civilization, is based on a foolish myth rather than the Christian marriage God intended it to be based on.

Another time, while taking a college class, a woman ridiculed the notion that a celibate priest could in any way prepare a couple for marriage. She utterly flabbergasted me though when she went on to suggest that it would be more profitable to have a prostitute prepare them for marriage!

"You may want a whore teaching your children about love, but I sure as hell would rather have a priest teach them about love!"

Yes, not one of my more diplomatic moments. However, to me her comment was outrageous and my response cut to the heart of her error. Marriage is about love, selfless love; it is far, FAR more about sacrificial love than about sex! It is in this light that Christ is the bridegroom who lays down His life for His bride, the Church. It is in this light that a good priest is preeminently qualified to teach about marriage and the true nature of marriage as God intended it, about love and sacrifice for ones beloved!

Scott Hahn in various books and tapes (including the "Our Father's Plan" video series) argues that the first husband's unwillingness to lay down his life for his wife brought about the fall of humanity! He quite convincingly argues that the snake was more accurately a "dragon" and that Adam feared him. While the dragon tempted Eve, Adam stood right there and did nothing. His cue to be a true man, to stand up to the dragon to protect his wife and to address the disrespect shown the Heavenly Father, came and went! He refused to risk his life, to lay down his life, for his wife and Heavenly Father. This was his fall; eating the fruit was almost an anti-sacrament sealing the fact (my interpretation).

Hahn, like the Church fathers, bases such arguments concerning the Old Testament on the revelation found in the New Testament. Adam reveals what went wrong, Jesus reveals what went right. Jesus, the Second Adam, laid down His life for His bride, the Church, and for love of the Heavenly Father. It is quite obvious that Adam and most of the sons of Adam get it wrong because they do not lay down their lives for their wives or their Heavenly Father!

This unwillingness to sacrifice, to love as God loves, is the root of all the problems in our society. The more abundant life of Christ within the Church and society as a whole will be realized only when the sons of Adam and the daughters of Eve follow Jesus' example and willingly lay down their lives for their spouses, for their families, and for their God.

-VW Malzahn

Another Example of the "Right One" Myth

Two single women once asked me when I knew for sure Vince was "the right one." Before they asked me this question, they were discussing how they would know if they'd met the "right one." Of course, they envisioned endless romance and gifts; the quintessential fairy tale. I'll admit that I bought into that silly notion myself at one time when I was younger. It is, after all, what great movies are all about. I soon came to realize that real life is different and that real love isn't about unyielding romance. I told the women that I realized my husband was the "right one" after we experienced infertility and a miscarriage. Those were two extremely challenging and emotional trials in our marriage, and without a strong foundation and our belief in God we might not have made it. Fortunately, we grew stronger and closer as a result of what we went through, and that was when I knew that I'd found the person that God had chosen for me to be with forever. The women acknowledged that what I'd told them was positive, but I couldn't mistake the look of disappointment on their faces. It definitely wasn't the fairy tale ending they'd expected.

-Frances Malzahn

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