Victims of TISM Support Group

(He'll never be an) Ol' Man River (1)

I saw his body thrashing round.
I saw his pulse rate going down.
I saw him in convulsive throes.
I said 'I'll have one of those.'

Hillary (2) had Everest in his veins;
Armstrong (3) did moon, was not the same;
Heroes explore to give us hope;
River (4) pushed back the envelope.

I drank the slab that Bon Scott (5) drunk;
I injected some of Hendrix's junk (6);
I booked a seat on Lynyrd Skynyrd's plane (7);
Mama Cass's sandwich? (8) - I ate the same.

Now I'm bored and there's no stopping;
I need another celeb to fill a coffin;
Where'll I get my next drug action?
Odds on it'll be Michael Jackson.

Annotations

1. An allusion to the song, Ol Man River, from the play, Showboat (1928). The song was recorded by both Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra.
2. Edmund Hillary was one of the first two people (the other being the Sherpa, Tenzing Norgay) to reach the summit of Mt. Everest.
3. Neil Armstrong was the first person to step foot on the moon.
4. River Phoenix was an actor who overdosed on a speedball (mixture of heroin and cocaine).
5. Bon Scott was the original lead singer in the band AC/DC. He died by choking on his own vomit after a drinking binge.
6. Jimi Hendrix died of an overdose of heroin.
7. The members of rock band Lynyrd Skynyrd died in a plane crash.
8. Mama Cass Elliott, singer in the group The Mamas and the Papas, died of a heart attack at the age of 33. Obesity was possibly a major factor in her death, but a story circulating at the time of her death claimed she died after choking on a sandwich.