Viagra Jokes :)

This page contains some hilarious jokes,pranks, slogans, poems related to viagra !!!

  Ways to know you have had sex.

1. Your mattress has turned into a giant sponge.

2. It takes five minutes to unknot your bodies.

3. An earthquake of 3.4 on the Richter scale is recorded in your area.

4. The cat's exhausted from just watching you.

5. A trampoline company has to come to adjust your bed springs.

6. You've both gone down one clothing size.

Slogans for Viagra

" Viagra : quicker dicker upper
" Get a piece of the rock"
" Viagra, It's "Whaazzzzz Up!"
" You've come a long way, baby"
" Tastes great, more filling.
" Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

Jokes

Scientists have developed a new pill that will now help impotent men who are also hay fever sufferers. By combining Allegra to take care of the allergies, and Viagra for the impotency, it gives you an erection not to be sneezed at!

Just heard on BBC News that the Viagra ingredients list has been released, Viagra is 2% aspirin, 2% ibuprofen, 1% filler, and 95% Fix-A-Flat.

When in Pisa a mishap vehicular
Spilled Viagra a bunch in particular,
It had the effect
That tilts to correct,
Now that tower is quite perpendicular.

What's the clinical term for men who need Viagra?
Myccoxafailure

How Viagra is same as Disneyworld? - You have to wait an hour for a three minute ride.

A report out today states that gardeners will not need to stake tomato plants any longer. Just one Viagra tablet in their water, and they stand up straight and firm.

Bill accidentally got burned his thigh, he went to chemist for medicine
Chemist suggested him Viagra and Burnol……..Bill asked to chemist ….Burnol is Ok but why Viagra ?
Chemist : Coz when u sleep it will keep the blanket up .

Generic Viagra is sold under the name Fix-a-Flat.

A bank sign in Dallas during this heat wave complains: "Who put Viagra in the thermometer?"

Men taking iron supplements are warned that taking Viagra may cause them to spin around and point north.

New plans are being made to raise the Titanic. Experts plan to pump it full of Viagra, and expect it to raise right up.

We loved Newsweek's comments on the trade name Microsoft® , to wit:
Let's see - "Micro" & " Soft ". Needs Viagra!

Bill Gates' Hard Drive

Did you hear that Bill Gates bought the world-wide rights to Viagra?
He's renaming it MICROHARD.

Viagra + Crime = ?
Our local drugstore was robbed of 500 bottles of Viagra.
The suspect is known to be a hardened criminal!

Viagra + Death = ?
What happend to the man who died on an overdose of Viagra?
They couldn't close the coffin.

Viagra + Eyedrops = ?
Why'd the man take Viagra eyedrops?
Because he wanted to look hard!

More VIAGRA JOKES

Viagra in Spanish, we're told, is "viejos agradecidos" or "greated old guys" (sic).

Viagra has been a big boon to 'stand up' comedians.

The man spent too much money on Viagra: Now, he's hard up.

Viagra in chocolate bars - you eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"

The man spent too much money on Viagra: Now, he's hard up.

Viagra in chocolate bars - you eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"

A bank sign in Dallas during this heat wave complains: "Who put Viagra in the thermometer?"

Bread with Viagra as an added ingredient is being marketed through a Boston bakery under the name "Pepperidge Firm".

Did you hear about the first death from an overdose of Viagra? A man took twelve pills and his wife died.

A man at the pharmacy to pick up his Viagra prescription exclaimed over the $10/pill price. His wife, who was with him, had a different opinion: "Oh, $40 a year isn't too bad."

...Then there was the man who got his Viagra tablet stuck in his throat and suffered from a stiff neck.

Have you tried the new hot beverage, Viagraccino? One cup and you're up all night.

How many doses of Viagra does it take to change a light bulb? One little tablet, and it's a whole new bulb.

Men are being warned not to take Viagra with nitrates after five gentlemen in India did so and changed the balance of power in the region.

The Viagra computer virus turns your floppy disk into a hard drive. The Viagra Super virus then sucks all your data off the hard drive.

If you're depressed and think you might need Viagra, see a professional. If that doesn't work, see a doctor!

A guy named Dave emailed us that he left his Viagra tablet in his shirt pocket when he sent it to the laundry. Now, his shirt is too stiff to wear.

We received the report today that it is no longer necessary to stake tomatoes. Just dissolve a Viagra tablet in the water and they stand up straight and tall.

Viagra is now being compared to Disneyland - a one-hour wait for a 2-minute ride.

Dan Quail does not support Viagra. Quote: "I've been using this stuff for a week and NOTHING! It's the worst suppository I've ever used."

Men taking iron supplements are warned that taking Viagra may cause them to spin around and point north.

Rumor has it that when a truck carrying a load of Viagra slid off into the Ohio River, all the lift bridges suddenly went up.

New plans are being made to raise the Titanic. Experts plan to pump it full of Viagra, and expect it to raise right up.

For years the medical professional has been looking after the ill, to make them better. Now, with Viagra, they're raising the dead!

The difference between Niagara and Viagra? Niagara Falls.

It's been said that if you take Viagra and Propecia (or use Rogain) at the same time, things work great -- but you look like Don King, afterward.

A Viagra delivery truck was high-jacked: The police are looking for two 'hardened criminals'. They expect a stiff penalty under the penal code.

Unconfirmed but frequent reports tell us that a man who overdosed on Viagra caused the funeral home problems - they couldn't close his coffin lid for 3 days.

Even so, we're told that the funeral home industry is happy about Viagra overdoses: Lots of new stiffs means an upswing in business.

Viagra Funny Poems & Quotes:-

Viagra from Pfizer's a pill,
Not MEANT for those who feel ill.
It makes limper wienies
Look like large zucchinis.
And ladies say "Please, a refill!"

If getting a boner's a chore,
Let Pfizer, Inc. help you to score.
To prime the ol' pump
Costs 10 bucks a hump.
Would you mind redefining "a whore"?- lilsil2

There once was a man from Niagara,
Accidentally took ten Viagra.
His pecker's as large
As a waterfront barge,
And his girlfriend says "this thing will gag ya" - lilsil2

This shouldn't be a disaster
For something easy to master
If in early days I were wiser
I would've invested in Pfizer
It seems they've already made Viagra faster!

This is what you do
While taking off your shoe
Put a wafer on your tongue
it dissolves and then some
In minutes you will be ready to screw! Paul D

Now they say Viagra works for girls too
Is there anything this pill doesn't do?
It brings blood to her clit
And the rest of her kit
Well, let's see Viagra cause an unscrew. - Saint

I once tried Viagra for fun
But there's one thing that it has done
I had a hard-on so thick
People thought that my prick
Must weigh nearly a tonne

Viagra can cure a 'small' prob
It turns my inch into a real knob
But my zip it has bust
From the trob and the trust
That women hang round in a mob

My sex life it has been rough
Viagra's some real powerful stuff
The girls do complain
As they feel too much pain
As I enter their regular size muff Mr F.B.I

Propecia to make hair grow
Viagra for willie you know.
The hair makes me cuter
but weakens my shooter.
I'd rather perform than just show!

Rogaine made a similar boast
growing hair from coast to coast.
Rub it into the head
all your life until dead
on my palms is where hair grew the most!

Now Viagra's the new wonder drug
I look at the hype and just shrug.
Pray I won't see the day
for Viagra I'll pay.
And enjoy getting burns from the rug!

This seems like a poor trade to me,
wee willie does much more than pee.
I'll forgo the hair
keep willie down there
stiff and veinwrinkled like tree!