There is a time in one's life when questions need answering, guidance is sought, and the Darkside is looking like a better alternative. That is when one seeks the Imperial Dark Lord, Darth Vader for their trivials. If you seek some real advice, drop me a note at askvader@tiefighter.org
I will try to find time between publicity to answer as honestly as I can, or perhaps find you a position as a Commanding Officer on my ships. We are always looking for new recruits.
I am a single mom in Ohio and am raising a teenage boy. I am going through a very hard time raising him at this stage and was wondering if you had any advice on raising teenage sons.
Mom in Ohio.
Dear Mom In Ohio;
Do in one Death Star Officer a day for stress relief. The battle is long, and in the end, its with yourself, and your idiot son. Don't expect your son to rule the galaxy with you. Maybe he'll give into his anger, maybe he'll strike you down, but you'll never know when he'll whine pleadingly and you'll find yourself turning to the lightside and saving his sorry butt. Remember the prophecies of the Emperor and ignore the whinings of your bratty upstart farmboy of a son. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Dear Vader;
My father was a commanding Officer aboard one of your Star ships and I have not seen or spoken to him in several years. I was just wondering if he was okay and if you could possibly tell him hello for me, and tell him to call or at least holo. His name is Richard Corvia Thanks.
Carl in NYC.
Ah yes, I remember your your father well as he clutched at his neck begging forgiveness for his insolence He..uh died...in battle. Vallientlly I may add. His heroic contribution to the Empire did not go unheeded by me and after his death we held a small ceremony in his honor, then refilled his position. it is a great honor to serve the Empire as your father did, and he was even promoted to Admiral, for a short while. My condolences Carl.
Dear Vader;
I was just recently made a Jedi and I still have my old lightsaber. I was wondering if I should upgrade my weapon or keep my Apprentice one. Also, I have a habbit of laughing out loud when I am killing someone. Is this an indication that I am turning to the Darkside? It makes me feel very guilty.
Undecided on Alderaan
Dear UOA;
Keep your old lightsaber, but change your costume slightly with every sequel. Do not feel guilty about having no misgivings about joining the Darkside. The most interesting people I know didn't have any respect at 22 for the lives of their victims, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't. Just remember, have plenty of minions, and be kind to your right hand, you will miss it when it's gone.
Dear Vader;
I am a woman reaching my 40th year and am still not married or settled down. I have dated many men, but have never made that commitment. Sometimes I think its me, and that I am pushing them away. Most of my friends are married or are settled in a long term relationship. Will I ever get married?
Always the Bridesmaid
Dear ATBM;
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe your son will join you, maybe he won't. Maybe you'll convince your daughter to become a dark Jedi and assist you in your campain of hatred and destruction; maybe she'll become a rebel leader and marry a scruffy looking nerf herder. Whatever you do, do not congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your destiny is guided by the force.
Dear Vader;
There are alot of children's programs that have alot of violence and are gaining much poularity. Dragon BallZ and Pokemon are cute but the message they send out is thinnly veiled violence and world domination behind a cute facade of pocket monster cuteness to impressionable minds. What are your thoughts on this?
Concerened parent
Dear Concerned;
Yes I have heard about certain said television shows and trading card games. Just last week Luke obtained a Snorlax and has given up trying to learn the ways of a Jedi Master to become a Pokemon Master. Contrary to the rebel propaganda films, I do not believe in violence, only cold hard dicsipline. But I do not feel that Pokemon has contributed much to Darkside. We have not received any royalty fees..
Dear Vader;
I was wondering if I could buy Obi-Wan's old lightsaber on E-bay. I know that it was just lying around after he got killed and was wondering if anybody picked it up.
E-bay Junkie
Dear E-Bay Junkie;
Ah Yes. The Darkside is strong with E-Bay. Some of my finest executives work there. The weapon of my old Master can be found sitting comfortably on my gun rack back at my Imperial summer home on Naboo. Build your own. Laziness will not be tolerated in this Empire.