Savoy Curtain Raisers

Mock Turtles

An Operetta in One Act

Written by

Frank Desprez

Composed by

Eaton Faning

Mock Turtles was performed at the Savoy Theatre on either 15 or 17 November 1881 and ran for over a year until 22 November 1882 as a curtain raiser initially to Patience, and then with Iolanthe. The original cast was as follows: Mr. Wranglebury - Courtice Pounds; Mrs. Wranglebury - Minna Louis/Rose Hervey; Mrs. Boucher - Rosina Brandram; Jane - Sybil Grey.

The MIDI files for Mock Turtles have been created by Dr James Pitt-Payne. The libretto to Mock Turtles was republished by The Gaiety in September 2001. See the Publications section for ordering details.

Dramatis Personae

MRS. WRANGLEBURY……………………Soprano.
MRS. BOUCHER (Mother-in-law to Mr. W) …..Contralto.
MR. WRANGLEBURY ………………………Baritone.
JANE (Servant).

The Scene is the drawing room of Mr Wranglebury. The Wranglebury's maid Jane is busy setting out the breakfast table. Mr Wranglebury arrives for breakfast, determined not to quarrel with his wife that morning. Mrs Wranglebury enters with much the same intent as her husband but before long they are both bristling at each other. Doesn't Mrs Wranglebury ring up huge debts at the dressmakers? And doesn't Mr Wranglebury borrow susbstantial amounts from his mother-in-law without ever paying them back? How they both detest each other!

No. 1: DUET (Mr. & Mrs. WRANGLEBURY.) (10KB)

MRS. W. Oh, I hate you! I despise you!
What can anybody say
For a husband who descends
To treat his wife in such a way?


W. Is it right when husband toiling
Comes home after business hours,
All his comfort to be spoiling
By that dreadful tongue of yours?

MRS. W. Oh, pshaw! What's the use of talking
To a conscience such as his?
Ne'er was wife so sore encumber’d
By so cruel a spouse as this!
W. Oh, pshaw! What's the use of talking
To a woman so obtuse?
Common sense is driven hence,
And reason's not the smallest use.

Quite unexpectedley, Wranglebury's Mother in law arrives for a visit. She enters full of excitement at arriving in the capital. If she had the good fortune to live in London she is quite sure that she would spend all her time sight-seeing.

No. 2: SONG (Mrs. BOUCHER.) (13KB)

MRS. B. I mean to go about, my dears,
Now I have come to Town;
It's full of strange delights, my dears,
And Lions of renown.
I mean to go to ev’ry play
And patronise them all;
The Palace on a shilling day,
The Agricult'ral Hall.
I won't omit a single sight
That's fit for me to see,
I'll go about from morn till night,
And you shall go with me.

MRS. W. & W. I'm sure 'twill give us great delight,
Oh, rapture, ecstasy!

MRS. B. I mean to see the Abbey,
and St. Paul's, and Hyde Park Gate,
The Tower and the Monument,
Bow Bells and Billingsgate;
The Tunnel underneath the Thames
I mean to travel through.

MRS. W. Thank heav’n, it's closed for passengers,
So that she cannot do!

MRS. B. The Pictures in the Gallery,
The Lions in the Square -
Perhaps, from what they say,
I'll meet With Mrs. Bradlaugh there!
I'm going up the Monument,
Your help shall useful find.

MR. W. Will you give Ma your arm, my dear,
While I can push behind!

MRS. B. I won't omit a single sight
That's fit for me to see,
I'll go about from morn till night,
And you shall go with me.

MRS. W. & W. Oh, rapture, ecstasy!


Anxious that Mrs Boucher should not learn of their animosity to each other, Mr and Mrs Wranglebury pretend that they are both on the best of terms and living a life of blissful wedlock. It is a role that they play with considerable difficulty, but Mrs Boucher is completely taken in and requests to see them sitting side by side on the sofa, billing and cooing with each other. Mrs Boucher asks her daughter and son-in-law to remind her of the songs they used to sing to each other. WIth gritted teeth, they sing one of her old favourites...

No. 3: DUET (Mr. & Mrs. WRANGLEBURY.) (9KB)

MRS. W. I love you so, I only fear
To give and not receive again;
For should I sell my heart too dear
The bargain bad might give me pain.
Sometimes I fancy I have sold,
For silver coin my treasured gold.
Look in my eyes and tell me true,
Do you love me as I love you,
As I love you?

W. I know you love me dearly, dear,
I know you love me tenderly;
But love grows older year by year,
And often dies at thirty-three;
The pow’r, and not the will I fear,
I know you well would love me dear,
But hearts with strength to love are few,
Could you love me as I love you,
As I love you?

Jane shows Mrs Boucher up to her room as Mr and Mrs Wranglebury contemplate their state of marital living and decide that it would not be too difficult after all to live harmoniously with one another. As soon as Mrs Boucher is alone with Jane, she quizzes the maid on what she think of her master and mistress. Jane confides that the two of them are pleasant enough when they are on their own, but as soon as they are together the sparks begin to fly.

Mrs Boucher has long suspected that Mr Wranglebury is a brute and that her daughter hides this from her. It is all that her daughter can do to drag her off Mr Wranglebury. Mrs wranglebury explains the situation to her mother: " Mamma, the fact is, we have both been very silly children, and now we have come to our senses. The experiences of a single hour's mutual amiability, the remembrance of past happiness have come to convert us; we are converted."

But what gave Mrs Boucher the impression that the husband and wife lived a life of anything other than connubial bliss? Jane is summoned before her emplyers and given immediate dismissal! Mr and Mrs Wranglebury declare that they will spend the rest of their days in blissful wedlock, much to the delight of Mrs Boucher!

No. 4: FINALE (Mrs. WRANGLEBURY, Mrs. BOUCHER, & Mr. WRANGLEBURY.) (7KB)

MRS. W. We mean to see the Abbey, and St. Paul's, and Hyde Park Gate,
The Tower and the Monument, Bow Bells and Billingsgate;
We won't omit a single sight
That's fit for us to view,
And hope to see a smile that tells
We have not wearied you.

TRIO. We mean to see the Monument, &c., &c.


Last Modified on 3 September 2001 by Roderick Murray
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