The Phenomenon of Truth
I remember a TV show where Jaques Cousteau was finding beer cans at the bottom of the middle of the ocean. Except for outer space, it seemed there were no frontiers left. Humanity had apparently been everywhere. Without frontiers, I naively thought, how are we to experience anything new? There is a song Is that all there is? It states, if so, “ keep dancing, break out the booze, let’s have a ball.” Implying that mundane existence is not enough and we must chemically alter our reality to find life enjoyable. In the recent movie, The Beach, the idea of a perfect place to live is shattered by greed. There is no free lunch or free ride through life. It is no accident that the relationship with the beach is mirrored in a love affair. Mark Twain lamented becoming an accomplished river boat pilot on the Mississippi because his knowledge removed the river’s mystery. Been there, done that! Ho hum.
Then there are movies like Hook and Joe Versus the Volcano, that suggest life is a continuous adventure. Without new frontiers, however, how can this be? A Sunday School class member told me of a book about dealing with Nasty People. She said, “I wish someone had taught me about this in High School so I would not have expected everyone to be nice to me if I was nice to them.” That may sound naive to some, but I can assure it will sound familiar to many of you. I would suggest that there is always an infinite frontier stretching forth for each and every one of us. The frontier of the self, of others, of life, and of the Spirit.
In another article, I speak of the trapeze experience of change, of the excitement or fear that comes with letting go of an old map of reality and flailing or falling until a new one is developed. This takes courage and effort. No worthwhile frontiersman expects it to be easy. I doubt Jaques Cousteau, Lao Tsu, Galileo, Kepler, Newton, Freud, Einstein, Jung, Bhudda, Jesus, Eric the Red, Columbus, etc., did either. How many of us are aware that our views, our perspectives, are just that: Ours. How many of us are willing to explore our boundaries? To examine whether that belief, idea, assumption is helpful, accurate, and worthwhile? How are we to know if they are the best for us or can be made better?
Usually, people enter psychotherapy because they are in pain. Their particular map of reality, of what to expect, of how to be, is not working. It may not have been working well for a long time, but they have been able to patch it up or hide the truth from themselves. When it finally fails them, they make the mistake of assuming that the failure reflects they are not ok in some way. In fact, the part of the map that has been causing them problems all along may reflect a self-judgement of some kind that has never been properly addressed and rejected as false.
Whenever children are not loved and respected they will assume they are not worthy. The possibility that their only sources of support are flawed is literally unthinkable. Children will warp their selves in order to fit the “reality” of their home life. To them the home life is the world. The view they bring out of their home is largely their view of the world, especially when it comes to those ways of relating to self and others that were ‘just done that way.’
Family therapists talk about people acting “as if” a certain assumption is true or a certain goal is sought. For example, Dr. M. Scott Peck talks of four stages that community formation groups go through (The Different Drum). The first stage is Pseudo-Community where everyone acts ‘as if’ there are no differences between participants. Everyone is being nice, talking in generalities, giving the benefit of the doubt, etc. Once this stage is passed, they act as if all the differences that emerge must be erased. This is the Chaos stage where they try to fix, correct, or change others. “Oh! If only you believed, would try, knew, etc.” In the next stage, after failing repeatedly to reach agreement, they begin facing the possibility of giving up control. They are bored, irritable, angry. Things are just not working. It is all a waste of time. They may blame the group leader for not preventing this stagnation. They may come to feel lost, depressed, or even like they are dying (panic). This is the difficult stage of Emptiness, where barriers to interpersonal closeness (fictions, masks, preconceptions, expectations) are being given up. Finally, they reach a point where they can just share their own personal and humble experiences without attempting to change themselves or others. Which is, paradoxically, where the real changes take place. Usually this involves relating painful and unpleasant truths or experiences: feelings of failure, losses, hurt, dislikes, etc. This happens because those are the things that people tend to withhold from each other in our culture. The use of the word “I” increases exponentially and they become more willing to share their immediate experiences of each other. As this process continues there is a sense of growing understanding, tolerance, and sharing and they come to feel highly connected with everyone despite their differences, perhaps even because of them. This, finally, is Community.
I would maintain, therefore, that the phenomenon of truth is always personal. It can only have a locus within the individual. It reflects personal experience. It is not something that can be judged, only acknowledged, evaluated, and incorporated into the personality where it will inform further experiencing. It cannot be grandiose, true for everyone, and it cannot inform everyone the same way, because each has their own unique (I believe sacred) path (map) that informs their experiencing.
Personal/Spiritual growth involves taking responsibility for our own experiencing, our way of perceiving and being informed, our map of reality. For many, just considering the possibility there is not ONE RIGHT universal map can be highly disturbing. Yet, such books as The Tao of Physics and The Dancing Wu Li Masters suggest the very nature of reality is probabilistic and subjective in its essence. Anyone remember Schrödinger’s cat?
In The Holy Man, by Susan Trott, pilgrims are greeted at the door of the hermitage, by a little old man in plain robes who says, “Yes?” When they respond, “I want to see the Holy Man.” He says, “Follow me.” He leads them at a brisk walk through the hermitage to the back door, opens it, gestures them outside and says, “Goodbye.” When they complain, “But I am here to see the Holy Man.” He responds, “You have seen me.” And shuts the door. He also often also tells them, while racing through the house, “If you treat everyone you meet as a Holy Person, you will be happy.”
This happens after they have walked up a narrow mountain trail that does not allow return traffic. They have stood in line for days, camped out at night, and carried their own food and sleeping gear. Needless to say, they are not happy. Nevertheless, many begin to consider how they interacted with the Holy Man. How, self-importantly, they did not greet him, ask him how he was, even who he was, just treated him as the lowliest servant. As they walk down the narrow return trail, they may vow to come back next year and act differently. In the meantime, they may decide to try to see the holiness in others and to treat them with respect, maybe even do this for themselves. If they can let go of their old expectations and heed the lesson, their lives (paths - maps) will be changed by the Holy Man.
Wisdom can be found in many places. I will leave you with the words of a Jimmy Buffet song:
"There’s nothing that can tear you apart if you keep living straight from the heart. You know that you’re gonna hurt some, but the magic still comes. If you keep living straight from the heart, you will know when to stop and to start. Once you see no one really wins, the magic begins. Bring Back the Magic. Don’t make life so tragic."
Paul
