Free quotes and jokes for all purposes. Quotes for love, profiles, away mesages, fun, friendship, humor, from famous people, etc.
Humor
Ebonics Word of the day is Omlette. "I sho bust a cap in your ass but Omlette slide dis time.".
Why drink and drive if you can drink and drink
A horse walked into a bar and the bar tender said, "so, why the long face?"
Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.
Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy. Check 3 friends, if they're okay you're it!
I still miss my ex... but my aims improving!
I ran into my ex the other day.... put it in reverse and hit him again!
Never cry over spilled milk for it could be something worse like spilled beer
My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate." I said, "Just wait."...
True happiness does not come from who you know, but rather what u know u can learn... Very Very recently I talked with a powerful, successful man, and was taught... tonight, from your courage and accomplishmets, you earned a nicle, true salvation comes when you are complete; I only own 50 cents. A dollar when interpreted correctly means a lot more then a soda, it means god itself...
Ebonics Humor
Ebonics Word of the day is Omlette. "I sho bust a cap in your ass but Omlette slide dis time.".
Acoustic. "Me and cousin Ray Ray went to the pool hall and i axed him to pass me ACOUSTIC so I can break"
Center. It was my girls birthday, so i CENTER sum roses and sh*t
Decide. I like Lawanda and Keisha, but I always gotta have some b*tches on DECIDE
Forclose. If I give my baby's mama money to get her weave done, I won't have no money left FORECLOSE
Manual. I told my boy, "MANUAL get the claps if you keep messin' wit' dat hoe"
Isreal. This dude thought I was trying to sell him a fake Rolex. I told him, "Nah man, this sh*t ISRAEL... no doubt"
Famous, Motivational
What other dungeon is so dark as one's own heart! What jailer so inexorable as one's self!
-Nathaniel Hawthorne
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they fly by. - Douglas Adams.
Turn your face to the sunshine and all shadows fall behind - Helen Keller
We only do well the things we like doing.
-Colette, Prisons and Paradise, 1932
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like
expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian."
-Dennis Wholey
A man who allows wild passion to arise within, himself burns his heart, then after burning adds the wind that thereto which ignites the fire again, or not, as the case may be. -Jack Kerouac, Beat Generation
Work and acquire, and thou hast chained the wheel of Chance.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
What the mind can perceive and beleive, can always be acheived - Someone
When all is said and done, the weather and love are the two elements about which one can never be sure.
-Alice Hoffman, 'Here on Earth'
Wise Words
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day but if you teach a man to fish, he will eat for a lifetime.
i cried because i had no shoes, until i saw a man who had no feet.
Don't play with fire or you'll get burned
Don't judge a book by its cover