Seinfeld Soundbites
Crowd: Come on! Save the whale! You gotta do it!
Diane: Save the whale George... for me.
(George turns and slowly walks towards the ocean with a determined look. He takes off his hat and throws it down. He walks into the ocean)
1- Marine biologist.mp3 (67kB)
George: So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you boys, I was terrified!... But I pressed on. And as I made my way passed the breakers, a strange calm came over me. I-I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things but I tell you Jerry at that moment … I was a Marine Biologist!
2- Marine Biologist.mp3 (218kB)
- George: The sea was angry that day my friends… like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli!... I got about fifty-feet out and suddenly, the great beast appeared before me. I tell ya he was ten stories high if he was a foot... As if sensing my presence he let out a great bellow! I said, "Easy big fella!"... And then, as I watched him struggling I realized, that something was obstructing its’ breathing. From where I was standing I could see directly into the eye of the great fish!
- Jerry: Mammal.
- George: Whatever.
- Kramer: Well then, what did you do next?
- George: Well then, from out of nowhere, a huge tidal wave lifted me, tossed like a cork and I found myself right on top of him, face to face with the blow-hole! I-I, I could barely see from the waves crashing down upon me but, I knew something was there… so I reached my hand in, felt around and pulled out the obstruction!
(George reaches into his inside jacket pocket and dramatically pulls something out in his clenched fist -- holding it up in the air for a second, then displays a golf ball holding it in mid air)
- Kramer: What is that a Titleist?... A hole in one eh?!
3- Marine biologist.mp3 (74kB)
- George: Diane came up to me, threw her arms around me… kissed me. We both had tears streaming down our faces. I never saw anyone so beautiful. It was at that moment that I decided to tell her that, I was NOT a marine biologist.
- Jerry: Wow! What'd she say?
- George: Told me to "GO TO HELL"!, and I took the bus home!
I am Back baby.wav (6kB)
Frank cooking in Korea.mp3 (89kB)
George wants Bananas.mp3 (19kB)
Del boca vista.wav (43kB)
A Festivus for the rest of us.mp3 (7kB)
Find a bra.mp3 (20kB)
Hoochie mama.wav (9kB)
It sucks.mp3 (24kB)
Latkas.mp3 (37kB)
Move to Florida.mp3 (63kB)
Piece1.wav (6kB)
Piece of me, u got it.wav (10kB)
You wanna Piece of me.mp3 (60kB)
Serenity now.mp3 (14kB)
Serenity now.wav (6kB)
You stopped short in the car.mp3 (34kB)
Swim trunk.mp3 (32kB)
I love Broccoli.mp3 (39kB)
Control the mail.wav (28kB)
Forbidden love.mp3 (7kB)
I am a little insulted.wav (50kB)
Jambalaya1.wav (21kB)
Jambalaya.mp3 (6kB)
Kramer bit me.mp3 (3kB)
Longshanks.mp3 (6kB)
Mailman.mp3 (74kB)
Jerry is a Monster.wav (24kB)
Necking during Schindlers List.mp3 (70kB)
Newman is loyal.mp3 (21kB)
Never became a banker.mp3 (46kB)
You useless Pustule.wav (9kB)
The Bottle song.mp3 (78kB)
Unpleasant odour.mp3 (37kB)
Chaos does not work 4 Yankees.mp3 (23kB)
Answering Machine.mp3 (16kB)
George is dead.mp3 (62kB)
Get better George, get better.mp3 (177kB)
The sea was Angry that day my friends.mp3 (18kB)
Answering machine - Believe it or not George is.mp3 (65kB)
Cool thing livin with your parents, and baldness.ram (41kB)
You had to have the Big Salad!!.mp3 (44kB)
Heyman: Cant-stand-ya.mp3 (38kB)
Jerry slept with Elaine last night, I want Details!.mp3 (140kB)
Japanese guys had sake in the hot tub.mp3 (46 kB)
Break up, we fooled around and went to a movie.mp3 (33kB)
Dip my bald head in oil, rub it all over your body.mp3 (14kB)
The Frogger, pushing on the street, game over.mp3 (324kB)
Wanna have sex right now!!.mp3 (29kB)
You crying from Home Alone.mp3 (49kB)
IQ test, People think I am smart.mp3 (25kB)
George is getting upset.wav (15kB)
Glasses are stolen in pool.mp3 (56kB)
It is Gortex, you know about Gortex.mp3 (13kB)
Grubs and puddle water.mp3 (27kB)
I just threw lifetime guilt free sex, lord of the idiots.mp3 (84kB)
George in love with Tony (The Mimbo).mp3 (76kB)
Driven woman to mental institution.mp3 (13kB)
I am a Bootlegger, bootlegging a movie baby.mp3 (56kB)
I am the bad boy, ...and the bad tipper!!.mp3 (42kB)
Killing Independent George, worlds collide.mp3 (220kB)
The Jerkstore called and they are runnin outta you.mp3 (8kB)
Feeling bad, knockers.mp3 (27kB)
Man without Hand is no man.mp3 (18kB)
My mother caught me, doing what, u know.mp3 (21kB)
A discussion with an Old man.mp3 (56kB)
The 2 passions of George.mp3 (31kB)
Salsa, the number 1 condiment in America.mp3 (121kB)
No one is a bigger idiot than me.ram (19kB)
Show about nothing.mp3 (38kB)
Discovering Plutonium by accident!!.mp3 (21kB)
Sex with cleaning woman on the desk.ram (59kB)
Frank cooking in Korea, shell-Shocked.mp3 (40kB)
Serenity now!!!!.wav (7kB)
Job applicant at New York Yankees (Opposite).mp3 (110kB)
The Andrea Doria, lifestories of George.mp3 (131kB)
Shrunk, I was in the pool!!.wav (38kB)
Significant shrinkage!!, do woman know about?.mp3 (175kB)
You can stuff your sorries in a sack mister.mp3 (22kB)
Stolen beachphoto Kruger.mp3 (66kB)
Superman and cereal.mp3 (8kB)
T-Bone!!, what about G-Bone?.mp3 (28kB)
I proclaim this The Summer of George.wav (9kB)
My name is George, I am unemployed.mp3 (39kB)
You are wasting your live!!.mp3 (128kB)
Thanks for the Big Mac, wonderful time.mp3 (20kB)
Thick lustrous hair.ram (29kB)
Touch her breast, I all want.mp3 (22kB)
We are trying to watch the movie!!!- tough.wav (79kB)
Hayman gives George an Atomic Wedgie.mp3 (70kB)
Yada yada yada.wav (6kB)
Food and sex, two passions.wav (30kB)
Up to, you dont wanna know.mp3 (30kB)
Vandelay industries, say vandelay industries!!!.mp3 (43kB)
Thats the spirit, You suck.mp3 (32kB)
Jerry Seinfeld
Astronaut pen - Jack Klompus.mp3 (88kB)
You threw a Banana peal at a monkey.mp3 (16kB)
Blood transfusion - Kramer.mp3 (47kB)
Blood transfusion - Newman.mp3 (51kB)
There is my call waiting.mp3 (33kB)
Canasta - ladies glasses.mp3 (66kB)
I know the chunky that left the chunkies .mp3 (19kB)
Correct me if Im wrong, think I see a Nipple.wav (71kB)
Jerry does not wanna be a Pirate.mp3 (32kB)
I did something stupid, shaving.mp3 (56kB)
Done.mp3 (12kB)
Favourite explorers, Magellan and DeSoto.ram (29kB)
Never slipped one past the Goalie.mp3 (23kB)
How could you not have make-up sex.wav (22kB)
Are you still Master of your domain.wav (22kB)
Good luck with all that.mp3 (16kB)
Grabing and clawing, kiss.mp3 (21kB)
Hamburger was eating me.mp3 (10kB)
Hello Newman.mp3 (7kB)
It rhymes with a female body part (Mulva?!).mp3 (98kB)
Do you have my Reservation, ran out of cars.mp3 (100kB)
Holy cow.mp3 (59kB)
Its a monkey Kramer.mp3 (6kB)
Kramer goes to work.mp3 (75kB)
I am going to hire you as my latex salesman.mp3 (16kB)
NY Yankee uniform has shrunk, thats a shame.mp3 (63kB)
Mohel circumcised my finger.ram (9kB)
Money in the laundry.mp3 (27kB)
Is someone there, Mr Marbles.mp3 (17kB)
Ohenry - out for money/sex.mp3 (43 kB)
Puerto Rican Day - Pennypacker.mp3 (165kB)
Law of physics contradict The Spit theory.mp3 (44kB)
The Spit theory is one magic luggie.mp3 (51kB)
If I killed somebody, would you turn me in.mp3 (84kB)
Salmon is the opposite of Tuna.ram (24kB)
Seinfeld becomes Kramer.mp3 (93kB)
Show about nothing.ram (55kB)
Stand up - Hotel fire panic.ram (75kB)
George needs a team of psychiatrists to help him.mp3 (135kB)
Stand up - What do men want, women!!.mp3 (122kB)
Stand up - Hand shake.ram (91kB)
Stand up - Looking for Boxes.ram (132kB)
Stunned by soup.mp3 (17kB)
Superman has humor.ram (57kB)
Tim Whatley making Jewish jokes.mp3 (101kB)
What is the worst thing that can happen.mp3 (44kB)
Telemarketing.mp3 (47kB)
The perfect plan, this is what i do.mp3 (29kB)
This is so %*$!@#! good.mp3 (9kB)
We are not gay, not anything wrong with that.ram (67kB)
You are Shmoopy.mp3
Mandelbaum
Worlds greatest dad.mp3 (45kB)
This is your son.mp3 (23kB)
My boy, my dad, my grandpa.mp3 (17kB)
What happened to him.mp3 (25kB)
Mandlebaum, Mandlebaum, Mandelbaum.mp3 (20kB)
Put us all in the hospital.mp3 (24kB)
Handle the weight.mp3 (41kB)
Picking on an old man.mp3 (24kB)
Are u thinking u are better than me.mp3 (18kB)
Jackie Chiles
Deplorable.wav (26kB)
Disgusting.wav (21kB)
Cigarette Face.mp3 (57kB)
O henry, top selling candy bar.mp3 (30kB)
Outrageous1.wav (11kB)
This trial is Outrageous2.wav (19kB)
Outrageous3.wav (11kB)
Who told u to have a Pow wow.ram (15kB)
They are Real and spectacular.wav (12kB)
George got Arrested.mp3 (29kB)
I am Cosmo Kramer, the Assman.wav (47kB)
Ball of oil out of the window.mp3 (51kB)
I am looking right at you Big Daddy.mp3 (10kB)
Bring home the bacon and fry it in the pan.mp3 (9kB)
The Pigman can take the bus, 2 seater.mp3 (42kB)
You think you can get to Broadway.mp3 (136kB)
Colliding worlds theory.mp3 (53kB)
Catolog.mp3 (44kB)
Coma - lawyer.ram (123kB)
Coma - wake up.ram (42kB)
Decaf Cappucino.ram (45kB)
Decent Fruit.mp3 (39kB)
The contest - Kramer: count me in.mp3 (25kB)
Dominicans will come after El Presidente.mp3 (73kB)
My Face is my livelihood.mp3 (71kB)
You are freaking me out.mp3 (9kB)
Funny thing for an act.mp3 (107kB)
Golf - that ball goes sailing up.wav (18kB)
Hernia operation - my name is Bob.mp3 (45kB)
I am begging you.mp3 (23kB)
I am Cosmo Kramer.mp3 (44kB)
Joe Dimaggio dunks his donut.mp3 (107kB)
Kramer has gonorrhea disease.mp3 (77kB)
Kramer is Filk.mp3 (17kB)
Who wants to have some fun.mp3 (46kB)
Who is gonna turn down a Junior Mint.mp3 (30kB)
What does the little man inside u say.mp3 (38kB)
Kramer punched Mickey Mantle.mp3 (45kB)
Kramer wants to hide his key.mp3 (35kB)
Kramers reality bustour.mp3 (60kB)
That is Kookey talk.mp3 (4kB)
Marriage is a prison.mp3 (128kB)
Look in the Mirror, u need help.wav (50kB)
Jerry, Newman, Newmanium!!!.mp3 (26kB)
Nice game pretty boy.mp3 (6kB)
I am Out there, loving every minute.wav (273kB)
The Merv Griffin Show, scandals.mp3 (136kB)
Monkey hits Kramer with a banana peal.mp3 (89kB)
Kramer has to apologize to the monkey.mp3
I am not a Pimp.mp3 (19kB)
Poke around, well women do it!!.mp3 (34kB)
I have a big Problem Jerry.mp3 (32kB)
Naked woman across the street.wav (5kB)
I just saw a Pigman, a pig man.wav (37kB)
Sashey your pretty little self.wav (13kB)
Sensual delights.mp3 (22kB)
You stubborn stupid silly man.mp3 (20kB)
You contribute nothing to society.mp3 (36kB)
Miscalculated a recipe, Kramer gets confused.mp3 (30kB)
Hennigans scotch commercial.mp3 (55kB)
The hot tub is like Sweden.mp3 (30kB)
You Stink.wav (14kB)
Surround in Wood.au (90kB)
Taking care of Business-TCB.mp3 (50kB)
Tell it.ram (3kB)
The bus is out of controll.mp3 (69kB)
The Pizza idea.ram (54kB)
The Bro, Bra for a man.mp3 (9kB)
Jerry is gay? and also Kramer??.wav (18kB)
They just Write it off.mp3 (64kB)
Hildy wants food, Trouble.mp3 (36kB)
Trouble with Jerrys keys.mp3 (131kB)
You are gonna be the first pirate.ram (20kB)
Miscellaneous
Estelle - Amusement Park.wav (81kB)
Babu - Visa application.mp3 (33kB)
Babu - Do u see people.wav (31kB)
Bania - Ovaltine (thats gold jerry, gold).mp3 (28kB)
He is a loathsome offensive Brute.wav (14kB)
Bubble Boy - Trivial pursuit.mp3 (27kB)
Bubble Boy - Taking your top off.mp3 (26kB)
Bob - Burning the Puerto Rican flag.mp3 (85kB)
Double dip that chip.mp3 (45kB)
Mr. Bookman - Do you have Coffee.mp3 (56kB)
Mr. Bookman - No hard feelings.mp3 (74kB)
Mickey - Go time.wav (7kB)
Intro1.mid (5kB)
Intro2.mid (3kB)
J. Peterman - cat fight2.wav (10kB)
J. Peterman - Opium.mp3 (109kB)
Kramer Florida real dude.mp3 (76kB)
Mr. Kruger - Kahugeer!.mp3 (121kB)
Mohel.mp3 (107kB)
Puddy - Lets get it ooon!!!.mp3 (36kB)
Puddy - This is Bogus man.mp3 (7kB)
Puddy - Elaine goes to hell.mp3 (34kB)
Puddy - High 5/stupid.mp3 (245kB)
Bob - Ribbon.mp3 (18kB)
Sausage music.mp3 (44kB)
Sidra - Breasts are real and spectacular.mp3 (49kB)
Time of.mid (17kB)
Uncle Leo - Stealing.mp3 (39kB)
Soupnazi
Adios Muchacho.mp3 (7kB)
Get out, next.wav (12kB)
Kissing in my line.wav (10kB)
No soup for you.mp3 (4kB)
No soup 4u, come back 1 year.mp3 (23kB)
Soup perfection.mp3 (59kB)
Elaine Benes
That is my Ass in your window.mp3 (7kB)
Whats so appealing to men about a catfight.mp3 (15kB)
That aint dancing, I dance fine, you stink.mp3 (30kB)
Description of George.ram (47kB)
Elaine faked an orgasm.mp3 (39kB)
Hair in the cake.ram (75kB)
Hair in the Farina.ram (91kB)
Box of Jujy fruits.mp3 (5kB)
Maybe the dingo ate your baby.mp3 (20kB)
Elaine hates The English Patient.mp3 (22kB)
Jerry did not know Elaine faked (...).mp3 (29kB)
These pretzels are making me thirsty.mp3 (55kB)
I cant spend the rest of my Life.mp3 (43kB)
Man hands, would she have hooks.mp3 (43kB)
I am afraid we are gonna have to ... Promote u.mp3 (44kB)
Winnie the blank, Puuhh, no Winnie the Pooh.mp3 (58kB)
Sidra - Silicon Valley.wav (68kB)
The Wiz.mp3 (103kB)
