| Venue | Round 1 | Round 2 | Round 2 | Round 1 | Venue |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| UC Sunnydale Campus | (1)Willow Rosenberg vs | (1)Willow vs | (3)Dawn vs | (3)Dawn Summers/The Key vs | Sunnydale High Campus |
| (16)Holland Manners | (14)Chanterelle/Lily/Anne Steele | ||||
| (9)Ethan Rayne vs | (8)Jenny | (11)Jasmine | (11)Jasmine vs | ||
| (8)Janna Kalderash/Jenny Calendar | (6)The First Evil | Sunnydale Woods | (5)Allen Francis Doyle vs | (5)Doyle vs | (7)Jonathon vs | (7)Jonathon Levinson vs | Giles's Apartment |
| (12)Quentin Traverse | (10)Amy Madison | ||||
| (13)D'Hoffryn vs | (4)Tara | (2)Giles | (15)Gavin Park vs | ||
| (4)Tara Maclay | (2)Rupert Giles/Ripper |
Home Showtime Slayer Demon Vampire Sweet 16 Rules & Stuff
The Jewish Witch takes the Gypsy techno-pagan apart piece by piece on her way to the Wiccan Region Semi-finals. At least Jenny didn't "get screwed" by my tiebreaker this time. >snap< Oh, I never get tired of that. Red joins the other top three seeds of the Wiccan Region in the Sweet 16. Hands! Hands in new places! Check out the comments.
It's not getting any easier is it? Willow gets my vote of course, Willow vs Tara here we come. - Celebaelin
Hmmm... okay, they've both got magic stuff, so I can't judge them on that... they're both hot, so that's out... they've both done morally questionable things, so I can't decide who would cheat... oh, well, I voted for Willow because I'm depraved and I want to see Willow vs. Tara. It'll be fun in a mean way, like watching a fly with no legs under a magnifying glass. Don't judge me. - Apophis
Jenny graciously steps aside, recognizing that her former student has surpassed her. Willow and Jenny hug before Willow continues through to the next round. - HonorH
As current acting chairman of MOLOJ, I'm technically obligated to vote for Jenny. I'm voting for Willow anyway, because--despite my immense affection for Jenny--Willow-love transcends any political office. - cjl
Black-eyed Willow vs. Gypsy Jenny. Willow would wipe da floor with Ms.Calendar. After fighting the dark forces within her, Willow succumbs to it and gets all witchy woman. Jenny would be all "W.t.f.?" Jenny hasn't been studying like she shoulda been. The student has surpassed the teacher. - deeva
I voted for Jenny. Simply because for me Willow was the one character who was ruined in S6-7 by ME's inability to reconcile their philosophical text and subtext. - KdS
Evil or good, black or white, the student has surpassed the teacher. Willow takes this round. (I'm trying to be completely objective about this, but also, I just love her.) Jenny, like any good teacher, should be proud to concede. - MaeveRigan
OK, I didn't get to vote on this one, but am I the only one who thinks that, upon seeing Ms. Calendar and realizing that hotness that is her, Willow would just drool and step aside? One mention of dangling earrings and Will should be a pool of jelly-like matter. - Kenny
The good witch comes out on top of the tough matchup with the vision empowered half-demon. Accounts tells me that there were ties and lead changes until Tara pulled in twice as many "no comment" votes as Doyle to finish five ahead. What probably happened was Doyle was winning this bloody battle until he chose to go into the bright light instead of sending Tara there. At least he bruised her up pretty good before that. Tara does get herself a Sweet 16 berth in the Wiccan Region no matter how it happened. But you can follow it a little in the comments.
I think this fight can only come down to one Thing, who looks better in a Corsit. Tara Wins! - Wolfhowl3
You're going to force me to choose, aren't you? You're evil, I tell you! Evil! - Masq
Thank you so much. I was so worried no one would notice. - JB
Witchy-Poo vs. the Badly Dressed Superhero. By now, I've made my opinion of Tara abundantly clear >coughblandcoughoverratedcoughbuyapairofpantscough< (there's a cold going around). Doyle was one of my favorite characters and continued to be such long after his death. Now, when I voted, Doyle was in the lead. I'm not so naive as to think that will last long. So it's me and Doyle, raging against the dying of the light, fighting a losing battle against the oncoming horde of Tarazombies. I don't mind, though; I forgive all of you for voting against Doyle. You know not what you do. Oh, the fight... uhhh... Doyle throws Tara's bland, earthtone dress over her head and she passes out in claustrophobic terror. The spectators get to see Tara's underwear and Doyle gets drunk afterwords; everyone's a winner! Except Tara, she loses. - ApOpHiS
After much deliberation I’m voting for Doyle. The principal reason being that Tara was a cypher, a chronically under-voiced character for whom inference was greater than substance. If I have to cite Tara commenting on Miss Kitty Fantastico yawning to even make a start on an appraisal of her private nature then you’ve got to admit that it’s pretty sparse pickings. If the main function of Tara was to be killed and set Willow on a dark path surely we needed more W-T dialogue to make it credible. Doyle scores by merit of being easily compressable into the hour format, that and his ability to flip out on a precognative, green, spiny, demonic rampage. - Celebaelin
Now we're getting to the part where it's less fun, but if there has to be a contest--and I'm unwilling to term it a "fight"--between these two good guys, Tara's my girl. Doyle's got visions (at unpredictable intervals) and demon strength when he goes all spiny, but Tara can call on much greater powers with a word or two and a flick of her delicate wrist. She wouldn't do any permanent damage, of course. Um--since both of them are dead, would this whole thing be taking place in some alternate (and, let's assume, heavenly) realm? Simply as a form of entertainment? I like it. But Tara wraps Doyle up--no question. - MaeveRigan
Ah, interesting match up. Two characters whose premature deaths have left them so canonised by fans that it's often hard to get a sense of them as rounded people. I have to vote for Doyle, because he played so much more significant a role in the series plot during his period, and because he was the only ME character to get a big symbolic redemption scene that came off as convincing. Maybe it was because his sins were of omission, and the prior punishment so extreme. - KdS
One of those rare matches where home ground advantage matters. Doyle was a great character who deserved to last longer than he did. Unfortunately, one day he wandered into the woods near Sunnydale drunk and got lost and was never seen again. The end. (Tara never had to lift a finger, although she did put some pretty serious magic into helping out the search party.) - Caira
Early fourth quarter, and we're 15-all. Looks like we could have our first tie. I'm holding off on voting until I can absolutely ASSURE a tie. I wanna see our tie-breaking crew in action! - cjl
Ooo, they're currently neck and neck! (T: 48%, D: 51%) Mumph, this contest was icky. I really like both characters - they're so dern winsome! But I voted for Doyle; I think he's got the edge. His messy apartment and semi-screwed-up life betray a desperation Tara can't quite match. Doyle victorious. - Anneth
I hope you all enjoyed the shiny green light show in this matchup. Dawn's shiny green energy defeats Jasmine's devouring humans fluorescent green light. This sets up a primo matchup in the Sweet 16 between The Pushy Queen of Slut Town and Giles. Delicious. Jasmine did show up for the fight, but it was like her face was covered in maggots or something. At the least, it looks like her mind control has worn off sharply. Or maybe Connor stepped in. Whatever, onto the comments.
Oh, screw Ms. Shiny-Happy Power! It's not even a contest. The world's second-angstiest teen in no way falls for Jasmine's lovey-dovey ways. "*So* totally not happening," yawns Dawn. "And what's with your face?" Chagrined, Jasmine decides to simply eat her. However, while that may be perfectly okay for ordinary mortals, it's not so okay with Keys. In short, Jasmine ends up getting absorbed by Dawn rather than the other way around. "Nifty!" chirps Dawn before she skips off to make herself a fluffernutter. Case closed. - HonorH
This also required some hard thinkin' but in the end, I had to vote for Dawnie. Jasmine may be/have been some sort of power, but Dawn's got dander. (And I don't mean the flakey white stuff.) I'd hate to see that dander up. Plus, that shot of Dawn in Chosen, with the sword? That was scary stuff. Dawn could take ol' maggoty-face any day of the month. "But," you gasp, "how will she defeat Jasmine's thrall?" Thrall schmall, I say - Dawn's a teenaged girl. Teenaged girls are enthralled only by repeated viewings of The Princess Bride and many, many Pixie Stix. Dawn victorious. - Anneth
Go Dawny!!!!! This one pulled me out of my non-voting streak. GO DAWN!! - Rochefort
Now, on paper, Jasmine has an easy win. On the other hand, Communism works on paper, so paper is obviously not a trustworthy medium. What it all comes down to is this: while Jasmine can enthrall large amounts of people with only the power of her voice, Dawn can do That Thing with Her Hips, which, when properly harnessed, can level mountains and lay waste to cities. Besides, anyone who threatens to kill Spike in his sleep is golden in my book. In the immortal words of Abraham Lincoln, wholesome teenage cuteness with a sword beats facial maggots in this, the land of the free and the home of the brave. - Apophis
Dawn is a rabidly self-centred, kleptomaniac, pure energy f**k-monster in the making with the finely honed musculature of a seasoned old pro, Jasmine is just as sweet as pie. So obviously Dawn wins. - Celebaelin
Ex-PTB vs. glowing ball of green energy --- this could get complicated. But, really, who cares about a few funny-coloured fireworks that'll probably be on some plane us mere mortals can't conceive of anyway? Far more interesting would be something we know Dawn is good at and Jasmine showed a latent talent for in Peace Out... time for another WHINING CONTEST! Now, on the surface Dawn may have all the advantages; years of experience in the art, abandonment issues up the wazoo, hell, teenage girl , but... nobody can wail, bemoan and beseech quite like a god, especially one who's just lost her favourite powers. Ol' maggot-face just goes on and on and on about all that's been lost while Dawn complains herself into a puddle of shiny green goo. Jasmine in a come-from-behind upset. - Caira
It's a blistering, no holds barred battle between Jasmine's gleaming smile and Dawnie's hypnotically shiny hair. The energy field surrounding the combatants warps reality and melts any human male within 250 km into a pool of hormonal ooze. In the end, the combination of Dawn's barely post-adolescent pulchritude and dimensions-spanning Key power and Jasmine's divine beauty brings the world to its knees, and we're all the better for it. The winner? Sorry, JBone, I left the contest behind about three sentences ago... - cjl
Somewhere near the end of season six, I found myself reluctantly revising my views on Dawn. Up till then, I would have been perfectly happy if she had been sucked into another dimension, or eaten by Jasmine. Dawn the extraordinary is now one of my favorite characters, so I'm going to have to vote for her. Besides, Miss "Watcher, Jr." would have figured out the "keys" to defeating Jasmine about two episodes before Angel, Wes, and Fred. Goodbye, whatever-her-true-name-is! - MaeveRigan
Sorry, Jasmine. Dawn is so over that shiney happy crap! No way a former PTB could win against the former Key. Dawn just smiles and says, "even the PTBs sleep...." End of story. - jane
Man, it's like Giles turned into a Fyarl demon overnight, and destroyed everything in front of him. And Jonathon didn't have much of a resistance other than peeing in the pool. Really, what does that accomplish? But even after it had been decided, with Giles totally dominating the contest, Jonathon still ran off like a little baby, only he couldn't find a clock tower to sit in with his high tech assembly rifle. Cheap route: Nerd Troika. Giles on the other hand, had his classy, intelligent, cold blooded Ripperness outclass the calender pinup all the way to the Sweet 16. I got something to say about the comments, but it'll wait until later. So, comments!
The Tie Breaker-y One of the Triumvirate says... Giles. Hands down. Love Jonathan. Really I do. But the boy doesn't stand a chance against That Guy in The Coffee Commercial. Sure Jonathan was able to perform a really difficult glamour and he seemed to be able to cast spells over demons with his "magic bone" but he's no Ripper. And one more thing, Dr. Frank N. Furter. 'Nuff said. - deeva
Please. This is no contest. If Jonathan had any delusions of ultimate triumph, they are dispelled once Giles strides onto the battlefield. Giles' Ripper-ific presence awes the geek, and Jonathan falls to the floor in worship, begging Giles to teach him the mysteries and subtleties of magic. Unfortunately, Giles can't do it, because 1) ME killed off the wrong geek in CWDP, and 2) Giles' BBC miniseries is in permanent limbo. (Maybe in fanfic...) - cjl
I don't really have anything witty or violent to say about this match. Giles would simply slap Jonathon around until he soiled himself and leave in disgust. Not even the might of the Magic Bone can stand up to a pissed off librarian. - Apophis
Ouch. Poor Jonathan. One good glare from Giles and he's toast. It ain't pretty. Moving on . . . - HonorH
Don't taunt the nerd, not that he can do anything about it, it's just tacky. Giles of course. - Celebaelin
The Watcher has a few more lessons to impart. Giles would never kill a repentant Jonathan, of course, but he's more than capable of grilling him most unpleasantly for all the additional agony Jonathan and his two cronies caused Buffy after her return to life. I'm betting Jonathan won't put up more than token resistance, either. He knows he's got it coming. Maybe afterwards they'll finally let him join the Scooby gang... Isn't this all theoretical, given that Andrew murdered Jonathan already? Oh well! - MaeveRigan
Holy Cow! Giles is winning by a pretty substantial margin. Nevertheless, my vote went to Jonathan. Because, frankly, Jonathan is dead. So, for Giles to fight him, he'd have to be reanimated somehow - zombie, vampire, whatever. I'm gonna say Jonathan comes back as a zombie and goozes all over Giles' glasses. Giles, disgustedly clucking, pauses to wipe his befouled glasses off but does so by mysteriously lying on the ground while counting to ten. Zombie-Jonathan wins.
Willow tears the hide off of the consummate lawyer to complete the first round in the Wiccan Region. She moves into a second round matchup with the technopagan, Jenny. Holland wasn't totally embarrassed. At least he didn't put up an ugly showing like Trick did. He just didn't stand a chance against the nerdy Willow. Or is it the groupie Willow? Witchy Willow? Gay Willow? Evil Willow? Willow the White? My favorite is Willow the Commentor. These are pretty good too.
Depending on what happened during her latest visit to the colorist, Willow would either wack Holland senseless with the nearest hard object or bind him between two lightposts (not many trees in LA, as I understand it) and slowly turn his skin into a Kali-esque fetish garment. Either way, it won't be much of a contest. And if she borrows Christina Aguilera's hair again...oh boy! Next victim, please. - BMF
As I've said before, Holland gave my all-time favorite Buffyverse speech. The Elevator Ride to Hell (howzat for Random Capitalization, HonorH?) is a high water mark for Joss' universe, and Sam Anderson nailed that speech to the wall, a perfect, (un)living example of Hannah Arendt's principle of the banality of evil. Wolfram and Hart was never the same without him. It's tempting to think that Holland could handle a pissed off Willow, having sold his soul to true darkness--but we all know that if Willow came looking for a one-on-one battle, Holland would prefer to stay in Hell. Where it's safe. - cjl
Holland Manners: Just another victim to the Engine of Death men call Willow Rosenberg. Holland was cultured, intelligent, experienced, and obviously well-versed in the ways of darkness, but at the end of the day, he was just a pawn, a lackey of greater and darker beings. Willow, on the other hand, has been courted by the darkness on several occasions. The beings that pull Holland's strings obviously see great potential in young Miss Rosenberg. Even if Holland found some way to stand up to Willow's raw power, his masters would order him to take a dive to further their cultivation of the dark and thorny rose that is Willow's soul. - ApOpHiS
Agree. Willow wins, but at what cost? Snicker. - KdS
Since there's absolutely no possibility that Willow will not win this one I'm witholding my vote until such time as I may yet again be wrong in my prediction. I could vote for Holland Manners I suppose but that would just be silly. - Celebaelin
Willow. No contest. Good or bad. Holland miscalculated himself to death with Darla; there's no reason to believe he could stand up to a pissed-off Willow. - HonorH
Magic schmagic. Don't piss off a lawyer. - d'Herblay
I vote for Holland. And you know what, if this becomes an issue, I'll claim it's because I thought I was voting for the country- or something. 'Reprise' is pretty much perfect. - TCH
This one's not even going to be close, but my comments, FWIW: Holland, evil lawyer from hell. Willow, the most powerful white witch in the world. She no longer fears her power, she no longer requires any of the usual "dark magic" props. Back to hell with you, Mr. Manners, Esq. Willow, Willow, Willow. - MaeveRigan
Pfft! Lawyer Schmawyer. Sure, they talk a good game, with all their "whereas's" and "party of the first part's". Indeed, they might even make more than a few of their co-workers wish they could flay themselves alive just to get a ticket out of certain over-long meetings. But best Sunnydale's perkiest power-mongerer? I'll be putting all my money on Ms. Rosenberg. - Pathfinder
How it might happen. [SCENE: A corner office in a high-rise building resembling Wolfram & Hart's offices. Behind an ornate black desk, HOLLAND MANNERS sits in his shirtsleeves, poring over a huge stack of papers. Sweat stains are visible on his shirt, and droplets of perspiration occasionally fall from his brow onto the papers. Through the two large windows behind him, we can see rising flames and hear distant screams of torment.] [We hear a door open.]
WILLOW (offscreen): Excuse me. Are you Holland Manners?
HOLLAND: Ah, Miss Rosenberg. Please come in.
[WILLOW enters.]
HOLLAND: (still looking down at his desk) Have a seat. I'm just finishing up
some paperwork. Well, not really finishing, since I'm doomed to go over these
soul contracts and sign them in triplicate for all eternity, but I can afford
a short break.
[WILLOW sits down, fanning her face with her hand.]
WILLOW: Kind of warm in here.
HOLLAND (nodding): I'm told the air conditioning has been broken for about thirty-five
hundred years. (Looking up from his papers) Coffee?
WILLOW: No, thanks.
HOLLAND: Well, let's get down to business. I understand we're supposed to fight?
WILLOW: Um, yeah. To the death.
HOLLAND: Tricky, since I'm already dead.
WILLOW: Not a problem.
[WILLOW's eyes go black, and her voice becomes husky.]
WILLOW: I've got magics even a citizen of Hell can't comprehend. Dark incantations
beyond your worst imaginings. Spells that will obliterate your soul!
HOLLAND (leaning forward, excited): Really?
WILLOW: Yes! And now you will feel- Waitasec. (WILLOW's eyes change back to
normal) You WANT to be obliterated?
HOLLAND (suddenly nervous): Oh, no, no, not at all.
WILLOW: You totally want to be obliterated!
HOLLAND: I do not! (Stands up and raises his fists awkwardly.) Come on, let's,
um, let's get it on! I'll wipe the floor with you, you, ah, crystal-wearing
hippie!
WILLOW: Nuh-uh. No soul-destruction for you, manipulative lawyer-guy. (She gets
up and heads for the door.)
HOLLAND: (Desperately) Oh come on! It's miserable down here! Endless filing,
twenty-six-hour workdays, and the coffee room only has that white powdered stuff
for cream! You have to destroy me!
WILLOW: See ya.
[WILLOW exits and closes the door behind her.]
HOLLAND: Crap!
[Cut to commercial.] - Gyrus
Tara exhibits Amazonian force in her vanquishing of the demon lord D'Hoffryn. D'Hoffryn had some supporters, and he'll remember who you are when it comes time to play favorites. Tara gets to meet up with Doyle in the second round where she should be considered the favorite. I'd like you to consider these comments.
This match is class vs. sleaze. And I have to go with class everytime. D'Hoffryn couldn't corrupt Tara or convince her to use her magic for vengence...and that's really all he's good for. - Alison
Believe it or not, I think this is a toss-up. Of course, Tara is the Buffyverse's first saint, and D'Hoffryn is a sleaze. But on the Road to the Apocalypse, I'm judging the participants on four main factors: physical/paranormal power, psychological toughness, multi-dimensionality as a character, and fan appeal. D'Hoffryn's the embodiment of an eternal, unfathomably powerful abstract concept, and Tara is a moderately powerful mortal witch. On psychological toughness, the Vengeance Lord has been tempting and manipulating human females for thousands of years (and the best Tara could hope for is a draw). Multi-dimensionality? D'Hoffyrn is both a nightmarish abomination from the pits, a sleazy demonic flesh merchant, and a perverse father figure to his "girls," with a wicked cool sense of humor. But Tara is so sweet and pretty. And Amber Benson has such a beautiful voice. (Never heard Andy Umberger sing.) And I loved her snarkage during OAFA. ("A cramp--in your pants?") Willow and Tara were such an adorable couple...Oh, bugger. I'm voting for D'Hoffryn, but I'm not-so-secretly hoping he loses. (Grrrr...) - cjl
The clincher for me... I agree that it's close on the criteria you explained, but I added one more factor: common sense wisdom. D'Hoffryn operates in what I would determine to be old-fashioned ways. He doesn't quite act as if things can change. He admits openly that times have changed and he rolls with those changes throughout history. However, there are some things he steadfastly and stubbornly insists remain constant. When Anya wanted to leave his little vengeance demoness cartel, he sacrificed Anya's only friend within their 'gang' in order to allow it. This hurt him as much as her, though he wouldn't readily admit it. However, someone had to die, and he didn't want it to be Anya cuz you don't go for the dead when you can go for the pain. Some things, he insists, never change. - ZachsMind
Whereas Tara's precisely the opposite. She's able to cope with change. Her whole life was ever changing, and even when she had to say goodbye to Willow, she didn't stagnate. She moved on with her life. And she wasn't so closed minded as to keep the door closed between herself and Willow. She saw Willow honestly trying to better herself, and with these changes in variables, Tara more quickly adapted. I submit that Tara has the fortitude to adapt to situations more quickly than D'Hoffryn. He might be able to gain points early in a battle with her, but Tara would adapt to his attacks, change her tactics, and win in the end. Cuz she's just smarter and more adaptive than he is on a common sense level. Besides, if the issue was a matter of Tara and D'Hoffryn fighting over Willow? I would like to think Tara would never give up. - ZachsMind
I agree with Zach.. my thoughts,too, but you said it way better. Besides, Tara would confuse the hell out of D'Hoffryn with all those little light bugs she'd conjure up. While he was swatting at them, she'd put the wicca whammy on him. Tara wins! - jane
I'm going to do something marginally unpopular... and vote for D'Hoffryn. I know, I know: Tara McClay, first canonized saint of the Jossverse, perfect Earth Mother bodhisattva, et cetera. I'm risking massive shock and damage for saying this, but the more I think about Tara's character, the blander she becomes. There were a few moments where she showed some actual depth; that comment she made about Warren's first robot girlfriend, her desperate attempts to disguise her "demonic" nature. Nothing ever came of any of this, though; she always reverted back to the perfect Wiccan posterchild everyone loved. D'Hoffryn, on the other hand, had a personality. He was a pimp, a warlord, a fatherfigure, and agent of karma all rolled in one. You knew he was vile, manipulative, cruel, and evil, yet you couldn't help but like him. And don't say Tara was incorruptible; remember season 4/5, when she messed up Willow's demon finding spell and rendered everyone blind to demons in order to hide the "fact" that she was a demon herself? She endangered her friends and lover (not to mention all the people killed by demons the Scoobies couldn't stop while they were cleaning up her messes) because she was trying to hide something about herself that she "knew" was bad. Being on such a high pedestal just means it will hurt more when she falls... - ApOpHiS
Tara. D'Hoffryn was an extremely kewl demon lord. He seemed so nice--but then turned out to have this really nasty side, and it *worked* as a shocker. However, it comes down to a test of woman power: while D'Hoffryn sold the fake kind as Pimp Daddy to the Vengeance Demons, Tara was the real thing--the quiet, beautiful strength of womankind. So my vote goes to Tara. - HonorH
There can be only one d'H referred to on this buffyboard. Therefore, I am voting for Tara; now we can set all discussion of that parvenu behind us. I believe this is the shallowest reason I have ever given for a vote in this contest, and I am someone who routinely favors the actress in the shortest, tightest costume. - d'Herblay
Just her first meeting of Buffy in 'Who Are You?' is enough. Tara please. - TCH
Doyle hits the jackpot in this little matchup, and sends the prestigious watcher tumbling out of the Apocalypse. Quentin just didn't have the juice it took to take down a half-Irishman like Doyle. Stinking English. Doyle made out quite well with the bookies on this one. And he did good making it to the second round. I hear there are some comments. Yeah? Yeah.
Please... Not only is Doyle stronger than Quentin, but he had a spark of humanity for all his half-demoness that Quentin lacked. And at least Doyle got incinerated in a respectable way. - Alison
Doyle. Doyle would figure some way to make this a no-holds-barred drinking contest. Quentin wouldn't have a prayer. - HonorH
A study in contrasts. Doyle: a former schoolteacher, pressed into the service of Powers he barely understood and tormented by a demonic nature he hated. Quentin: master of all he surveyed, self-assured to the point of arrogance, secure in the belief that he knew everything he needed to know to fight the dark forces surrounding him. Doyle, working with his friends, found the courage he thought he never had and died a hero; Quentin, tight-lipped, sclerotic bureaucrat, moved too late, and died a fool. Doyle. - cjl
Ahh, Doyle. Of all the Irish half-demons I've known, he was the best. In a physical match, Doyle would first be reluctant to utilize his demonic nature, but Travers' smug attitude would goad him into delivering a good old-fashioned Finnian/Brachen ass-kicking. However, I agree with HonorH in that Doyle would find a way to turn the match into a drinking contest. Choose the battlefield and make your enemy come to it; Doyle knows his Sun Tzu. - ApOpHiS
Mr. Green-pokey-faced-sneezy-half-demon-man wins on principle. Cordy never woulda kissed Quentin, for crissakes! - Anneth
Poor Doyle - one of several people whose punishment was out of all proportion to his crimes, which were mainly of omission. I had some sympathy for Quentin when I thought he was a lone low-ranking idealist in an utterly corrupted organisation. Then, of course, it turned out he was the corruption. Hope Doyle beats the crap out of him. - KdS
In a contest more about psychology than physicality and amidst the gasps of the audience Doyle collapses in the fourth screaming something about 'prolifatorum crucimentum' or some such. The not so cute QT calmly walks over, places some sort of pre-constructed fetish about Doyle's neck and it's all over, with one of the biggest anti-clamaxes yet seen. Travers explains in an unexpected post bout victory interview that 'it was an exhibition regarding the use of power'. A large number of smug Watchers Council survivors show up later for the celebration with copies of the Council's Standard Proceedure (revisited and revised 1971 by you know who) and strange little cases containing hypodermics. Amidst allegations of a fix Doyle supporters request an inquiry/re-match. - Celebaelin
The Jenny vs Ethan matchup narrowly averts the tiebreaker Council, with Jenny claiming a first round win. Ethan had a slight early lead, but it seems like he hung around too long to enjoy victory. How unlike him. But Jenny pulls out the win in the end, and Robia La Morte can win with my pull out of her end anytime. I should delete that, but I'll try to distract you with comments instead...
Captain Chaos versus the Gypsy Queen: Ethan (clever devil) would try to use Jenny's abiding affection for Giles as a way of screwing them both over, but our sweet Janna has a fully operational bulls**t detector, and wouldn't fall for Ethan's brand of double talk for a second. It would come down to a fair fight between wizards, and as we all know, Ethan has never participated in--let alone won--a fair fight. Jenny, baby. - cjl
The most "ethical" character on "Buffy"! When it comes to magick, Ethan has the skills! Ethan doesn't get his neck snapped by his ex-boyfriend's Slayer's ex-boyfriend. Oh no, he's the one turning the Slayer into a helpless damsel in distress and having a gay old time. (Pun definitely intended!) He and Giles have "history", which Jenny couldn't even manage since she went and got all dead. Every time Ethan comes to town, he brings out the Ripper in tweedy, stuffy Giles -- and I think we can all agree that Ripper coming out to play is a good thing for the world in general. Or, if not a "good thing", then at least a fun thing! Well, there is that little issue of Ethan being arrested by the Initiative and taken to a high-security detention facility in the Nevada desert for "rehabilitation". But, come on! Who here thinks an organisation as orderly as the Initiative could hold a Chaos mage like Ethan if he didn't want to be held? I'll bet he freed himself with the judicious (well, okay, maybe not "judicious") application of a spell before they even got out of Sunnydale. Other than Tara, Ethan is the most consistently "ethical" character on Buffy. He has a moral code and lives by it. He believes in Chaos whole-heartedly, worships his gods faithfully, and practices the tenets of his religion with gratitude and joy! Besides, Ethan has snark down to a fine art. Only he can make religion sound fun! As much as I admired Jenny's hip, modern woman style, all her technopagan knowledge and computer skills could never compare to Ethan's status as Janus' beloved son, his powers as a dedicated Chaos mage, and his wild, fey, BDSM-loving, sexually suggestive ways. - Scroll
. . . and I must reluctantly agree. Sorry, MOLOJ! Fact is, Ethan survived a lot longer than Jenny while doing much more dangerous stuff. Much as I love Our Miss Calendar, I'm afraid that if it came down to Ethan vs. Jenny, Ethan would win--every time. - HonorH
I think we all remember what happened the last time these two were pitted against each other (possession? what possession?). Ethan tried his hand at the tatoo business, then ran away. - Alison
Oh, no... Things are getting tough. I like both these guys. After much soul-searching, however, I'm gonna have to go with Ethan. He's simply got more tricks up his sleeve; he's deviously clever and is always watching the angles, looking for an opportunity. Jenny could pull a few rituals, but I think Ethan is A) more powerful and 2) can improvise on his feet instead of being bound to arcane rules (Chaos and all...). Age and treachery beats youth and a tight dancer's body. Besides, if Jenny wins, I'll still be okay (changing sides in the middle of a fight; Ethan would be proud). - ApOpHiS
You all make good points about Ethan but.... You're forgetting that messing with Jenny means messing with Giles. Ethan is hard pressed to beat Jenny alone. But against the love that lives between Jenny AND Giles Ethan could only use Arthur's battle cry "Not in the face! Not in the face!" - Rochefort
My money's on Jenny to win. And may I add-- if Giles is come can Buffy be far behind? - sdev
I love Ethan, but Jenny is my avatar. Or is that the First Evil in Jenny-clothes? - Masq
Its gonna be close this one but Ethan is going to clinch it. How can he not? Ethan IS Giles, had he not given up his Ripper ways, and that alone means he deserves to win. - btvsk8
Ever since I was turned down for the post of Grand Panjundrumous Inquisitioner of MOLOJ, I've been a bitter man. So my vote is for Ethan, who's wickedness is of the coolest sort. Ethan would have hexed Jenny's clothes so she turned into a techno-pagan/hippie...which she already was. Oh well. Guess she'll just have to lose the old-fashioned way: being turned into an angry, insecure teenager and falling hopelessly in love with a defiant bad-boy rebel Ethan. Whatdoyamean, he didn't eat the chocolate? That's what he's really like now? Huh. Bet he was prissy as a teen, then. - Random
Chaos my arse. Jenny's cool. Ethan the sort of prick weho gives Chaos a bad name. I just hope he runs into Rosie von Bek some day: "Sadly the self-styled Chaos Mage Rayne was just a sadistic little wanker with pretentions to Tricksterhood. I recall him with no affection whatsoever, although his scream as I dropped him head-first through the Biloxi Fault nearly made me relent." - KdS
What can I say? I voted for Ethan. Anyone who can pull of those clothes and still look wicked (as opposed to buffoonish) gets my vote. Plus, Jenny's clothes were dumb. Remember the white t-shirt with the big leaf-prints on it? A vote for Ethan is a vote against that shirt. - Anneth
I was going to abstain from this contest: the board, of late, hasn't, despite JBone's marvellous efforts, inspired much playfulness within me; also, I have a tough time deciding between the participants in this contest. It is the one opposition in which I don't feel driven to take sides. I always lit up when I saw the name "Robin Sachs" in the credits, knowing that I was in for a delicious banquet of chaos, with much delightful scenery-chewing. But on the other hand, Robia La Morte has always gotten extra credit from me for her work with Prince, and when I imagine Robin Sachs in the skimpy red dress Robia wore in the "Gett Off" video, and when I imagine Prince hoisting its hem over Robin's shoulders, I know I have to vote for Jenny. Sorry for the delay, J. It's not like it was close or anything. - d'Herblay
Jonathon triumphantly marches into the second round, to face the intimidating Giles. Jonathon vs Amy went mostly the way I expected, less a few more votes for Amy. Amy gave it a run, but unfortunately, she fared better in Sunnydale than here. Some magical comments (gag, did I write that?), are Jonathans's best.
Jonathan all the way. Amy, never one for creative thinking, turns Jonathan into a rat. Jonathan, harboring some little germ of high-school-era resentment for anyone with more friends than he (that is, basically everyone else) is suddenly reminded that high school sucked and he wishes poxes on all their houses. And then he realizes - he's a rat! He carries the pox! He sneaks a ride to Casa Madison on the back of Amy's broomstick and secrets himself near enough to her to allow bubonic-plague-bearing fleas to make the leap from his back to her body. Amy contracts the black death and is gone within 24 hours. Jonathan is freed from his ratty existence by her demise and returns to his full stature, victorious. - Anneth
I always wanted Jonathon's redemption to be more heroic. But I suppose his failures were always grand sweeping failures, so his redemption in the form of quiet wisdom in the basement of the highschool sort of suits. Amy, on the other hand, pulled off the great trick of making it through 4 and a half seasons of Buffy as a rodent. But that last episode she appeared in MADE... NO....SENSE. Jonathon, with the quiet and gradual victory. - Rochefort
Jonathan, Jonathan. Poor sweet, clueless little geek, how I started to really like you. Then you fell in with the wrong sort. Eh, we'll just overlook that for now, what with you being dead and all. The kid's got a knack for the mojo. Cast spell over the whole town didn't he? Er, so maybe that wasn't so good. But, hey, presenter of Class Protector Award! And, maybe, he even wrote the speech! And he really didn't want to kill Buffy, at first. Um, forget that las part, ok? He's the little geek who could. Amy's just the witch that wasn't. Still living in the shadow of her mother, I think. - deeva
Jonathon..cause we short people have to stick together..;) - Rufus
Amy might be the stronger witch, but I just don't *like* her. Thus, I vote Jonathan, who might have taken a few wrong turns in his young life, but redeemed himself before he died far too young and ignominiously. And if I want to back it up logically, there's this: while Amy's return gave us the infamous Magic Addiction storyline, Jonathan's made Andrew into a Real Boy. That's enough RaNdOm CaPiTaLiZaTiOn for now. - HonorH
Okay. Originally, I was going to vote for Amy based on the theory that she is the more powerful of the two (that, and because she's hot when she's angry). I've reconsidered, though, and decided that few are the forces that can withstand the awsome might of the magic bone. At the very least, Jono can hit her with it while she laughs at him. Ph33r the magic bone! - ApOpHiS
Amy thinks she's hot, but that's exactly why Jonathan is going to blow her away. He was actually studying magic while she's been taking shortcuts. Also I just think Jonathan deserves a break, after he repented and then was betrayed by Andrew: Good wins, bad loses. - MaeveRigan
Jonathan, backed into a corner and a half-second away from rodenthood, invokes the Superstar spell and takes command. Amy not only powers down, she profusely apologizes for the misunderstanding, asks for his autograph, and hints about a date for next Thursday. Jonathan politely turns her down. After Amy leaves the field, heartbroken, Jonathan considers looking up the twins--but then de-amplifies himself and goes back the quiet, but fulfilling life he should have had at the end of the series... - cjl
It's all about comeuppance. My vote was for Amy, since no one can curse like a witch. As much as I like Jonathan, Amy's Season Seven cameo clinched it for me. She's the only character who was able to demonstrate to Willow that there are sometimes consequences to her actions -- everyone else was all too eager to forgive and forget. And as far as punishment goes, Willow turning into Warren was pretty amusing, evil, but amusing. And the best part? The punishment was taken from Willow's own subconscious (and her curse may have been responsible for the skin eating demon as well). Actually, that wasn't the best part -- the best part was seeing Kennedy get her comeuppance. We'll have to wait until the return of Faith to see something like that again. It was very amusing to see this arrogant, too bold brat who skipped out on the slayer retreat because magic isn't real and she'd rather be chasing Willow than learning about her destiny, the girl who is so self confident and self assured that she's known she was a lesbian since she was five, suddenly finds herself kissing a man when she pressures Willow into that kiss. Still not believing in magic, she tries to bully Amy after Willow/Warren storms out to go buy a gun -- and Amy mocks her, then zaps her across town. Jonathan just doesn't have that kind of flair. - Malandanza
I had a feeling that the First Evil was seeded too highly, but I didn't expect this big of a blowout. Jasmine captivates the voting public and earns a second round matchup with Dawn. Meanwhile, the First Evil is in a hellmouth of a losing streak. The celebration of Jasmine's love continues... in the comments.
Like this is even a contest! While "The First Evil" was a terrific concept to begin with, execution definitely lacked. Jasmine, on the other hand, is Kali and Madonna, Athena and Big Brother. She redefines phrases like 'divinely gorgeous', 'world peace', and 'healthy appetite'. She was a Higher Being come down to earth to bring love and harmony to all mankind. Okay, so there was that pesky free will issue... But hey, media bias is a good thing, and the Catholic church definitely needed a new god, and more Jasmine temples would certainly brighten up the skyline, and anyway, those people were perfectly happy to be eaten as bed-time snacks! Jasmine was a kick-ass PTB that made things happen -- none of that standing around being incorporeal and making only-slightly-terrifying-taunts. She was deeply misunderstood by Angel and the Fang Gang; I mean, all she wanted was to be loved! Is that so much to ask? And as we all know, "Jasmine rocks!" Oh Jasmine, well, you came and you gave without taking... - Scroll
Is it wrong for the First Evil to vote for Jasmine? I just felt this irresistible urge to vote for her creamy cool ebony effervescence.... - Masq
This is actually a toughie for me... Villian-wise, sure, Jasmine kicks the First Evil's incorporeal ass. But that's part of the problem. As Buffy found out, the First has no ass to kick and can't be destroyed or defeated (just have all its toys and resources taken away). So, I'm voting for Jasmine, based on personality alone, but if it came down to an actual fight, it'd either end up being a draw...or really boring. Jasmine runs at First, tries to punch, but her arm GOES RIGHT THROUGH HER. She tries to give it a kick in the face, but her leg GOES RIGHT THROUGH HER. Get the problem? ;o) - Rob
This is not an antagonistic forum! Yes, we've had our problems in the past: strife, hatred, despair, Boke. But now we have a chance to make this the best of all possible boards, without hunger, war or misery. A board built on love, respect, understanding, and, well, just loving one another. Doesn't that sound nice? And we owe it all to Jasmine. And she requires nothing in return but for us to love one another. And maybe a temple. And definitely our votes. - d'Herblay
After much deliberation, I had to go with Jasmine. All throughout this past season, I was in love with the First Evil. There was so much that could've been done with a truly cosmic-level bad guy. I waited for months for the First to do something cool... I'm still waiting. Since ME decided to present the First as such an ineffectual loser, I'm treating it as such here. After a long battle between the First's Turuk-Han/Harbinger army and Jasmine's mindslaves, it comes down to a one on one battle betwixt the goddess and the abstract concept... at which point the First realizes that it can't really do anything. Jasmine assumes control of the world while the First goes off to a distant galaxy to think of a plan B. - ApOpHiS
Jasmine absolutely. Is there anyone on this board who wasn't disappointed when the Incarnation of Evil was treated like an everyday Big Bad? - KdS
The First Evil so wants to win this one, but unfortunately, it has nothing to bring but rhetoric. Unless someone speaks her Name or touches her blood, Jasmine's mystery-mojo just mows everyone down. Frankly, I think FE plays fairer, but Jasmine's gonna win this time. In the next round or so, I hope she meets the wild card that is the Power of Love. - MaeveRigan
FEJasmine? Only after I voted for Jasmine (she turns the FE's army of Turuk-Han into genuflecting gnomes; Caleb discovers his new-found love for women, being as they constitute roughly 1/2 of all humanity, which he now unabashedly adores; the FE crosses its arms and sulks) did I pause to consider what might happen if the FE took on Jasmine's form. Could it recapture the loyalty of its minions by process of rethrall? Was Jasmine's face the source of her power, or was it something intangible? No matter; the FE next tries to take on Jasmine's 'true' visage and confuses itself while trying to be both RottenJasmine and 347 maggots. Jasmine victorious. - Anneth
Like the FE is supposed to be able to stand up against anyone who can wipe all free will from anyone's mind? You can't be evil without choice. 'Sides, from what we heard, Jasmine's older. Inherently, she's more evil than Mr./Ms. Incorporeal and has more practical power. It's no contest. - HonorH
Well it looks like we got one day without the ballot box stuffing bastards. Dawn crushes Anne in a matchup that either doesn't inspire much in the way of comments or maybe they are just another casualty to the cheating bastard(s). Want to know what's on my mind? This better get fun again, quick. A few comments...
Okay, so Anne developed a spine late in life. Good for her. Dawn developed one early in life. Besides, Dawn can scare Spike. IMHO, that puts her one up on Chantarelle/Lily/Anne. - HonorH
You're sitting in a coffee shop and Lilly walks in. Urghh, gaaa, I gotta hear a bunch of gobbledy gook about her newest cult or even worse her newest boyfriend before she hits me up for money, avert eyes avert eyes avert eyes. I mean any one who still has a problem with Dawn's alleged whining has to admit that she's got nothing in the whining arena on Ms. 'Can-I-have-YOUR-name?'. Dawn 'I gave birth to a Pterodactyl' Summers can sit at my table any day cause she is the MAN. a small...annoying man, but still." - Rochefort
I don't have anything to say, really . . . except that I like Dawn. I like Anne well enough, once she showed up on Angel and stopped annoying the hell out of me, but not as much as I like Dawn. - d'Herblay
Giles coasts to an easy, first round win over the ever-sneaky Gavin. I don't think that Ripper even had to make an appearance in this one. Gavin was simply outclassed by the usually present Giles. Comments, ready.
THe first vote is mine, and the battle is on! The Ripper returns from his season-long foray into Darrin Stevens-hood and does so with a vengeance. Poor Gavin enters the ring puffed up with all the bravado a johnny-come-lately can muster when faced with the Freebird himself, the Watcher, the alpha male of the 'Dale, Librarian the Barbarian, the one, the only, the whipper and ripper, the only man in history to not only survive, but triumph, after being named "Rupert"...Giles and his Watcherly Wiles. - Random
With all of Gavin's experiance at behind the scene minuplations, he would still make that one fatal mistake with Giles, he would under-estimate the watcher as beening a weak, behind the scene's man, like himself. Gavin would try to buy Giles off, or threaten to have bad things happen to Buffy or the rest of the scooby gang. At this point Giles would pull out a chain saw and cut Gavin into treats for hungrey hell-hounds. Winner: Giles! - Wolfhowl3
After a season in pod-person land, Gavin has no idea how much thrashing him is going to improve Giles' day. - Rook
Not really a question for any woman over, say, 40? Giles it has to be!! - Dubster
Talk about a no-brainer. Giles could turn Lilah's Little Bitch into bangers and mash with a well-placed glare. - HonorH
Yeah, I like Gavin, and thanks for quoting me on the background page, but Giles is going to kick his ass. - KdS
If I had Giles as a teacher, I might've turned out to be a decent human being. He's gonna squash Gavin like a bug. Long live Ripper! - cjl
Assuming this is not a pod posing as The Librarian, then Giles it is. - pr10n
When historians look back at the vast sweeping social changes brought about by MOLOJ, will they attribute the start of the movement to eros regarding Jenny, or to the strong re-directed energy resultant from repressed attraction to Giles himself? hmmmm. - Rochefort
Point one: Gavin's dead, so all Giles has to do is sit back and watch the decay. Point two: Giles is a pimp, and Gavin's a ho. Pimps up, hoes down. Be strong, playa. - Apophis