Dan Rather: Election 2000 Coverage The 2000 election should go down in history not only because of how close it was, but because of the amazing quotes produced by Dan Rather. Either you loved his coverage or you hated it, but either way, here you are. Note that those quotes with times are from the Eastern time zone. The other quotes are in no particular order. Listen to a montage of Dan's best, from Rush Limbaugh's radio show. (Windows Media) Also, be sure to check out this article regarding Dan Rather and his "Danisms." "Now Florida, that race, that race, the heat from it is hot enough to peel house paint." (7:05pm) "Let's get one thing straight right from the get go. We would rather be last reporting returns than to be wrong. And again our record demonstrates true. If you hear somewhere else that somebody's carried a state, and you're awful as you shouldn't be watching them, then come back here because if we say somebody has carried a state, you can pretty much take it to the bank, book it, that that's true." (7:08pm) "Bob [Schieffer], the polls have closed in Virginia. A Senate race there ugly enough, nasty enough to gag a buzzard." (7:12pm) "It's believed to be extremely close in Pennsylvania. I'm prepared to say that they're playing what amounts to a sudden death overtime in Pennsylvania. It's that close." (8:03pm) "I can hear some people at home saying, 'Whooh! If the electoral vote count is now what Dan Rather and CBS News says it is, 121 for Bush, 119 for Gore, it seems to me just a few minutes ago Bush had a long lead.' His lead has evaporated... uh, has melted, melted faster than ice cream in a microwave... what's happening here?" (8:10pm) "Now remember Florida is the state where Jeb Bush, the brother of George Bush is the Governor, and you can bet that Governor Bush will be madder than a rained on rooster that his brother the Governor wasn't able to carry this state for him." (8:15pm) "Alabama, the Jackhammer State, drops a hammer on Al Gore, goes for Bush as expected." (8:30pm) "Bush has had a lead since the very start, but his lead is now shakier than cafeteria Jell-O." (8:30pm) "Then in Tennessee, now Al Gore may be as cross as a snapping turtle about this Tennessee situation because it's his home state." (8:32pm) "Mark this, this man [Corzine] spent an estimated $80 million, no you did not hear, $80 million. He spent money like he had shorted Microsoft and won this race." (8:35pm) "Bush is sweeping through the South like a tornado through a trailer park." (8:37pm) "Pennsylvania drops for Gore, 23 electoral votes, and for the first time tonight, mark it, if you're in the kitchen, Mabel, come back in the front room, 145 for Gore, 130 for Bush, 270 needed to win." (8:48pm) "Now that will have the Bush people in Austin jumping out of their seats like they were stabbed with hat pins because if Bush should carry Florida, it's sayonara for Gore." (10:03pm) "This much tension you can't cut with a saw. It requires a blow torch." (10:15pm) "At any rate, one night they counted those absentee ballots, uh, until the cows literally had gone to sleep, and then came back the next day." (10:38pm) "His chances are slim right now, and if he doesn't carry Florida, Slim will have left town." (10:43pm) "This shows you how tight it is. It's spandex tight." (11:30pm) "Now Governor George Bush, Karl Rove, and the others around him bragged, there's no other way to put it, all along on the campaign we will carry the home states of Al Gore and Bill Clinton. They've put up and they delivered. They put up. Now they can shut up because they've won the six electoral votes in Arkansas and eleven in Tennessee and can simply sit back and say, ‘Listen, we told you we were gonna do it and we did it.'" (11:54pm) "The presidential race still hotter than a Laredo parking lot." (12:20am) "I have to say, though, and I don't mean to be flip about it, that I think you are more likely to see a hippopotamus coming running through this room than you are to see Governor Bush appoint Nader to the Cabinet." (12:21am) "Florida has just wobbled into Wierdsville." (3:00am) "... if, italicized, underscored, put in caps, IF ..." "Now Bob, you're probably the best one up here at mathematics, none of us are very good at arithmetic..." "This is the dance of democracy." "Now I don't usually give advice, but if your kids are asleep, get them in the room." "That was not illegal, and by politicians' standards not even unfair..." "Give the anchorman a box of candybars..." "Don't count sheep." "This is code blue for all candidates involved here." "This is why this whole election swings, like one of those pendulum things..." "If Bush hasn't gone to bed yet, and I think I know Bush well enough to say that he hasn't gone to bed yet..." "Call the doctor, call the police, call a psychic..." "The rest of us could be waiting in the desert for a little bit more." "It's way past the witching hour in half of America." "Al Gore's situation is his back is against the wall, his shirt tail's on fire and the bill collector's at the door." "Hoooo boy, did they need the rain!" [Regarding Texas getting rain on election night after droughts] "In Missouri, dead man walking." "We have had dead people... err [chuckle], rather, people who have passed away elected to the House..." "If Gore comes back now, it would have to be rated as one of the greatest comebacks since Lazarus." "Under the creed, you trust your mother and cut the cards... I'm just gonna check again to make sure your right." "There certainly won't be any killings over this one, but it can't get any closer." "Bradley! Ed Bradley, an update in Oregon you have?" "It's now down to one card cut now, isn't it." "When we know who won Florida, then we can say, 'That's a wrap.'" "We're gonna have to bring an expert in algebra in here if the arithmetic gets any more complicated!" "When it comes to reporting a race like this, I'm a long distance runner and an all-day hunter..." "George W. Bush, son of George Bush... Revenge is his, and revenge is sweet." "You talk about a ding dong knock down setup..." "Hook a U, head it back to the house, and let's get a recount goin' here." "Quiet as the proverbial church mouse." "He may as well be speaking Swahili or High Norse to me..." "Stop to breathe his pony..." "Little Rhody goes for Gore." "As hot and squalid as a New York elevator in August." "He's run through Dixie like a big wheel through a cotton field." "For him to win it would be like scratching his ear with his elbow." "It's cardiac arrest time in this presidential race." "It's call 911 time." "Snug hardly says it." "This thing is so wild, wacky, and woolly." "Adios, its been good seeing you... it ain't gonna happen." "The hour of decision may be drawing near--underscoring may--and don't bet the trailer money on it yet." "Closest race in the English language." "If you are saying, 'Hello, what's this, Dan Rather?'" "The Texans with their 10 gallon hats and their Willie Nelson headbands..." "When the going gets weird, anchormen punt." "Close only counts with hand grenades and horseshoes, so close may not be good enough." "The polls have been veering and wobbling so much that neither NASA nor the Russian Cosmodrone can track them..." "This race is so tight you couldn't get a cigarette paper between them." "They're all running around like a squirrel in a cage..." "If Gore loses Florida, that's it, it's over, no chance, goodbye." "We said earlier in the evening at one point that Governor Bush would probably be as mad as a rained on rooster." "They're smiling like cats in a creamery down in Austin." "So there's where we are in the electoral college; for one reason it's a ding dong battle back and forth." "You know the old saying: bad data in, bad data out." "This is heart pumping twist on this rolly coaster ride." "The presidential race is are crackling like a hickory fire." "Governor, you didn't just tumble off the turnip truck." "You can bet the rent money..." "They are doing backflips in Nashville." "It's tension city." "Hold on to your drawers." "Back here at CBS News' Accuracy Central..." "If California is the big burrito and Texas is the big taco, then Florida is the big tamale....and right now, it's the only tamale that counts." "Turn down the lights, the party just got started." "The lights are going out for them." "Votes only talk, everything else walks." "Bush and Gore are closer than two pages in a book." "As they say in opera, it's not really over until the heavy lady sings, but Bush hears her humming backstage." "If... if a frog had sidepockets he'd carry a handgun." "About as complicated as a wiring diagram for some dynamo." "Well, the word 'goofy' comes to mind, but might be a little, might be a tad strong but I'm not so sure." "Too early to say as the whiphand, but certainly things are shaded toward him." "The Good Book says the race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but as a reporter you have to say, 'That's the way to bet it.'" "I'm reminded of the sign in a west Texas saloon that said 'Don't shoot the piano player, he's doing the best job he can.'" "Virginia goes to George Bush--that's whoopee news down in Texas." "You've got time to put on another pot of coffee and pour it." "Folks, this thing is getting really interesting." "This race is the equivalent of hand-to-hand combat," "The flicker-tail state flicks for Bush." (North Dakota) "Minnesota goes to Gore. What a heavy-weight match. What a fight!" "It's a historic night. It's been a ding-dong battle any way you look at it." "This is a knock 'em down, get up and come back kind of race." "Sip it, savour it, cup it, underline it, mark it in red, press it in a book, hang it on the wall...George W. Bush is the new president of the United States." "This is just a wild and woolly night." "We don't know what to do here--wind a watch or bark at the moon!" "And particularly this late in the morning, not everybody talks straight..." "You'd have to say this thing is tight as the rusted lugnuts on a '55 Ford." "The race is as hot and tight as a too small bathing suit on a too long ride back from the beach."

Last Updated: January 29, 2001 Top Home E-mail