I refer to our duties at home, within our family circle, for in this sphere are to be found resting upon us obligations, for the discharge of which we shall be held to a strict account. The duties that we owe to our children are so imperative that nothing short of actual disability can excuse us for their non-performance, while the consequences involved in their neglect are so far-reaching that we cannot even estimate the injury that may result.
The object of our great Creator in assigning to our care these tender plants, was not that we should be wholly engrossed in providing outward substance for them and for ourselves; and yet, to judge from the actions of many parents, it would appear as if they thought that such was the case. Neither did he confer upon us feelings of sympathy in order that others should be the objects of it, and our own families excluded. Nor did He give us powers of mind to be cultivated for our own gratification and to the detriment of our children. Nay, verily; but, on the contrary, we are placed as delegated shepherds and shepherdesses, to watch over the flock of our own household, to observe the early budding and growth of their tender minds and to train them in a way and manner that will be pleasing in the sight of Him who gave them.
Is it not apparent that such watching and such training cannot be given to our children without time and attention? But, according to the generally prevailing custom of those who abound with the good things of this life, the child, from the time of its birth until it is considered old enough to have a governess, is consigned to the charge of nurses, who, from their lack of knowledge, and often of piety, are ill qualified to discharge the duties of care-takers.
When the school-going period arrives, but little opportunity is afforded, and still less is taken, for close companionship with the parents. The mother may be so occupied that she cannot answer a simple question put to her by her child, while the father is so taken up with business that he has no time to be bothered with childish inquiries, so the little one, repulsed by both parents, but even yet eager for information and craving sympathy, turns to the nurse, or to the kitchen-maid, and receives such as she has to impart. The father has, or takes, time to go to a political meeting or to the club-room, and the mother to a meeting of the sewing society or to a sociable, or the two may go together to a lecture or to some place of amusement, thus making home rather a dreary place for the children, except as the "servants" choose to enliven it.
Accustomed to such an environment, and in view of such examples, the children, while growing up, will imbibe a love for excitement and a distaste for the monotony of home-life, instead of becoming inured to domestic attachments and domestic duties which would fit them for their places as heads of families when they come to have homes of their own. Thus their craving is to get away for an evening and to mingle with the throng at a party, a theatre or a popular lecture. Home seems to be disregarded, its duties lost sight of, and--for want of cultivation--but little real affection is felt by the children for their parents. Father is essential as the family treasurer, and mother as superintendent of the "servants," while home is a convenient place to lodge and to take meals at. The parents are ready to marvel that the children have so little desire for their company, and still less regard for their wishes.
Dear parents, What more could you expect? What has been done by you to make home a place to be preferred before all others and your society the most to be desired by your children? Have ambitious temptations for the display of wealth been resisted and desires been moderated, so that fewer hours would be needed in business, and thus many more enjoyed at home? Have you so cherished the heart's best affections that your presence in the family circle has gladdened those who were awaiting your coming? And have parents and children together been made partakers of the heavenly joy spread around them?
The self-searching, the close scrutiny, required to enable you to give candid answers to these questions may prove profitable as well as painful, and to all who are parents good may come from such an examination. Let those of us who are husbands and fathers gladly hasten from the exchange, or turn away from the excitement of the busy throng, to enjoy the company of our wives and the innocent prattle of our children, and let both fathers and mothers feel the weight of the responsibility that rests upon them as. caretakers of those who have been committed to their charge. If we really love our families, let us manifest our love by being more at home; and thus having more of their company. If we would curtail our wants and live in more simplicity, so that less of our time must be devoted to business, then would there be a decided change in family affairs and a realization of what is meant by family affection. Then should we be found gathering our children around us, joining with the younger ones in their juvenile pastimes, having some instructive work read aloud by one of the older, and--most profitable of all--sitting down with them for seasons of retirement, wherein we could, in the silence of all flesh, crave that the Divine blessing might rest, upon them, and upon us in our efforts for their welfare.
1. 1.... Pages 248-251.