Tim and Pete's Page for Jerks and their Mothers
Pete's Lovely Bio
New! With Flower Arrangements!
Name: Pete (Last Name Withheld Under Duress)
Born: 12/08/80
Secret Aspiration: To avoid giving my life any sort of purpose.
Favorite Food: Various puddings (unless, of course, it is "black pudding," which is pig fat, and that's just sick, man.)
Address: 12972, Apt. #C Great Influx, Bolivia, 89005
Very Personal Info that you Would Not Like People To Know: I have several venereal diseases, most of them are heinous and nasty. Plus I still wet the bed a lot.
Anything Else?: Yes, how are you all doing today? My name is Pete. Tim has gotten quite a bit of the limelight lately, and I thought it was my time to break in to the spotlight! So move over, Tim! You jerk. All that you need to know about me is that I write this page. I want you, the viewership, to take a strictly deconstructional approach to webpage reading, starting with this one. So I will not tell you about all of the spies that I had to kill to achieve the status "Father Superior Third Class" in the Bolivian infantry. Neither will I mention the number of women I have swooned with my golden voice under my pseudonym Rod Stewert. Instead, take a look at this page for what it was designed to be: a slightly off-topic glimpse at my brain given too much free will and far too much room on the internet.
Reason for Ending this Bio Format: He's bored.