Updated October 21, 2003!
Tim jumps from plane, breaks legs. Pete Graduates College, breaks legs. --Jerk Gazette
Pete and Tim's Page for Jerks and their Mothers (The sexiest thing since sex. Don't we know it.)
Updates
-I actually updated!! It's been 9 months, but I did some basic updating. Bad links taken down, guestbook put up. That's about it. -Okay, we're just going to level with you; We don't update that much. Tim's in Iraq, and let's just say he has more access to hand grenades than high speed Internet connections. So just enjoy what's here. We still chat on the Message Board , though. - It's quiz time! Pete and Tim style. Check out our Cosmo SexinessScore !
Tim is off Seeing the World in the army. Apparently there are cow skulls in Iraq.
-Jerk of the Week-
Well, okay, not really "week," I think we made about 3 of these. ha ha--the joke is on you!
-TOP 100 (OR SO) BANDS-
-LETTERS TO GOD-
The problem with the world these days is that young people don't talk to God enough. Well, Tim and Pete are ALWAYS talking to God. Here you get to see a few things they had to say. Sadly, these are fairly one-sided conversations.
As Tim once said, "music is all about either finding agreement between people or totally hating them." We know that some people will really like our choices. The others can, in a word, "blow." It is in the noble name of creating polar opposites that we created this definitive list. This is a starter kit for good taste, jerks.
-ASK PETE & TIM- -SOMETHING WHY- -DON'T YOU-
-LYRIC TRANSLATION-
If you're like us, (which I'm sure you are), you sometimes hear a song and think to yourself, "what?" Well, here at Pete and Tim's page for Jerks and their Mothers we have just the solution for your problem. We have gotten our hands on these lyrics to some of your favorite songs. We will copy these lyrics down and give you the patented Pete and Tim translation. Don't thank us. It's our pleasure.
We covertly steal letters sent to "Dear Abby" and give them the patented Pete and Tim makeover. We're only trying to help.
-AN ABSOLUTE MORON'S- -GUIDE TO LIFE!-
-LITERATURE REVIEW-
Pete and Tim recently made the discover that there are these things called "books." Now, "books" are very confusing at first, and can be quite challenging to master. So they have nobely chosen to read many, many "books" so that you don't have to. Only the finest literature is chosen for their critique.
Many of you are probably looking at our page and thinking, "I a real moron, duhhhhh. I wish pete and Tim had something for me. I also wish my drool wasn't so sticky." We heard you, you sad, sad loser. Sadly, we can't help with the drool part.
-PETE & TIM'S TOP 10!-
-SEXY POEMS-
I'm sure that most of you reading this page came here looking for a little help in the old love-life department. We here at Pete and Tim's Page for Jerks and their Mothers are here to help YOU. Pete and I have written some really great love poems that you can memorize and use to get sexy women. If you are a woman, which maybe you are, we're sorry but this isn't going to be your thing. It's guy stuff. Really. We don't hate women, we just don't have any poems you could use.
You thought it couldn't be done, but Tim and Pete have found away to make your miserable little lives a bit less worthless. Got a Top 10 suggestion? Send it in! We're always up for a challenge.
-POINT AND COUNTER- -POINT-
Get those arguing caps on!
-ANALOGIES-
-COSMO QUIZ- How sexy ARE Pete and Tim? Find out
(LINX)
We here at Pete and Tim's 'something' for 'nothing' have a few pages we would like for you to take a peek at. These are our favorite pages on the net. We love these pages! Well, we love most of these pages. There's one that I don't like so much. I'm sure Pete hates it, too. And so will you. Unless, of course, you're a freak.
We here at Pete and Tim's page for Jerks and their Mothers know what you want. We do. You want to know all about Pete and Tim. You want to know where they live. You want to know what they eat. One of you sick bastards, you know who you are, even wants to know Tim's bra size. Here are our pages about us. Don't hate us because we're way sexy.
&
Tim
Pete
If you have so much as a warm feeling inside, or a vague wish to see how sexy Tim really is, give us a vote!
Pete and Tim: BANNED IN AUSTRALIA!
Not Pete and Tim's page for jerks.