Ralph H.
Crowley
I met Ralph in late January 1969 when I was assigned to
his platoon. He had been in Vietnam for some time and had already seen combat
on several occasions. He was the type of guy you wanted to hook up with,
to increase your chances of survival.
We often shared each others guard duty at night, We talked about fishing
and baseball, a hobby and sport we both enjoyed. We talked about home a lot
too, and what we were going to do when we got back. Although we were pulling
a double watch, the time seemed to fly by.
On May 27, 1969, while our platoon (appx 22 men) was on patrol we were ambushed by a sizable NVA force as we crossed a mountain stream. We were clearly outnumbered. Ralph, whose squad was on point, was killed as he assaulted an enemy position. His death was
tragic, but we couldn't grieve at the time. We had to process his death the
only way we knew how. That may sound cold but I can assure you that those
who knew Ralph thought about him and missed him.
When I returned home in January 1970, I wanted to visit Ralph's gravesite
to properly say goodbye. As much as I wanted to do this, it took me nearly
twenty five years to make it a reality. In 1994 I pointed my car in the direction
of Remus, Michigan, Ralph's hometown. Remus is a small town, so it didn't
take long to find someone that knew Ralph and his family. Within thirty minutes
I had the address of Ralph's parents and was pulling into their driveway.
My arrival had caused the dogs near the garage to start barking. I assumed
that the gentleman that came out the back door of the house to investigate
the commotion was Ralph's dad. I introduced myself and told him that I had
served with Ralph in Vietnam. We chatted briefly and I told him that I had
driven up from Kentucky to visit the cemetary where Ralph was buried. I asked
if he could give me directions. He offered to take me there instead. As I
neared Ralph's headstone and could read his name, I found myself wondering
whether my legs would get me there. All sorts of feelings were coming over
me. I felt weak and felt that I was trembling. I was almost certain that
I would not be able to maintain my composure, but this was something that
I had been wanting and needing to do for a long time, so my feelings soon
became insignificant. After visiting with Ralph for thirty minutes or so
Mr. Crowley and I returned to the family home. I was warmly invited inside
where I was introduced to Mrs. Crowley. We talked mostly about Ralph and
the years prior to him entering the Army. Mrs. Crowley brought out some photos
that Ralph had sent home from Vietnam. There were no names on some of the
photos and I was able to identify some of the guys for them.
Before I knew it a couple of hours had passed and I needed to get back on
the road. It was great being able to sit down with the Crowley's. It was
an experience I'll never forget.
As I was preparing to leave, Mr. Crowley took me into the garage, where there
were still things that had belonged to Ralph and each one had a story behind
it. An old rod and reel led to a fishing memory and as he told it, he seemed
to be reliving that special moment. I think those memories were comforting
for both of us. For me, I was able to see Ralph in a different setting and
under different circumstances. When I finally got to my car, I found myself
not wanting to leave. As I backed out of the driveway, I couldn't help but
look at the tree that Mr. Crowley told me that Ralph was always climbing.
I found myself, as strange as it may sound, wondering what size the tree
would have been at that time. Although it continues to grow and age, it will
always be remembered as the tree that Ralph used to climb. As I drove down
the road I took one last look back at the farm. I remembered how much Ralph
had talked about it and could understand why. It was full of memories of
a time when things were precious and simple. Although my visit was pleasant
and fulfilling, it was also sad. Ralph is still gone and nothing can change
that, but he will always be alive in our hearts through the memories we cling
to and he'll forever be in our thoughts. When the farm was completely out
of view, I remember taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out for what
seemed like forever. I had finally gotten to say goodbye.
Ralph on LZ Amy.
![[IMAGE]](crowley3.jpg)
