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A Lady was filling up an application form for a job. She
promptly filled the columns
entitled "Name" "Age: "Address" etc.. Then she came
to the column "Salary Expected".
She wrote : "Yes."
Why Why...?
EVER WONDER
* Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
* Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
* Why don't you ever see the headline ! "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
* Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
* Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
* Why is it that to stop Windows 98/XP, you have to click on "Start"?
* Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid
made with real lemons?
* Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
* Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
* Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
* When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
* Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
* Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
* Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
* If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
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How do I...?
A man was
applying for a job as a prison guard. The warden said, "Now these are
real tough guys
in here. Do you think you can handle it?
"No problem," the applicant replied. "If they don't
behave, out they go".
The boss came early in the morning one day and found an employee chatting
with
his secretary. He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?"
The employee replied: "No, sir, this I do free of charge."
Grandfather was celebrating his
10th Birthday and everyone was complimenting
him on how well he looked.
He said the secret "My wife and I
were married seventy five years ago. On the
wedding night we made a pledge
that whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go out and take
as walk. I have been in the open air
continuously for the past seventy
five years".
George, a guest of John goes
for a drive in New York's Men Hutton four track
road. In few minuets John contact him
on his mobile and advice, "I just know
from the news that a motor car
is driving in wrong side at Men Hutton four track roads".
"That is old news" George replied,"
At this time, not one but a lot of motor car
coming from wrong way".
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Mr. John asked with angry to
electrician: “I call you tomorrow for repairing our electricity and you come
today?
Electrician replied: I came tomorrow also & rang the door bell many times but no
one came to open the door for me.
Teacher teaches students in school :"
As you know, we all are habituate to speak
words in short like Mummy as
Mom, Daddy as Dad .
At this time one student asked :"
Like Madam as Mad".
To know the
views of the American people about the Nuclear attack on Iraq,
President Bush
& Powell visit a public Restaurant .
One people ask
them," Excuse me, I think you are Mr. Bush & Mr. Powell. But I
am not
understand what are you doing here ?"
"Planning for
Nuclear attack on Iraq" Mr. Bush replied. " And kill 14 million Iraqis
with Saddam and
catch the Saddam's Dog for shoot out from firing squad ". He
asked with
surprised " What reason to shoot the Dog".
"Hay Powell, look Our American's not interested
in 14 million Iraqis". Bush asks Powell with a clap.
Farmer : If
my bulls see you, you will be able to catch the 12:15 bus, instead
The new maid came rushing frantically
into the house. " Some one has run off with
your car, Sir," she exclaimed.
" Good heavens ". said her employer. " Did you se what
he looked like?"
" No sir, I didn't stop to look, but I did take the
number of the car for you".
Two teenagers were nabbed by the traffic police for
excess speeding.
" You have to pay a fine of Rs. 200/- on the spot
" demanded the cop.
One boy acting smart said "Sir we were only practicing,
as next week we are participating in a car rally to win a fabulous prize".
The adamant cop replied," the way you were speeding I
have no doubt that you and only you will bag the prize. "Fine Rs. 1000/-"
Two friends were talking about their
reading.
"I
am fascinated by medical publications. A friend of mine treated herself,
using articles she read in the journals".
"You are speaking of her in the past
tense. Did she die?"
"Unfortunately".
"Of what?"
"A typographical error".
A judge asked a woman her age.
"Thirty", she replied.
"You have given that age in this court for the
last three years".
"Yes, I am not one of those who say one
thing to day and another thing tomorrow".
My uncle broke his leg last week.
How did it happen ?
He
is a window washer and he was working on the fifth floor when he stepped back
to
admire his work.
Hotel Clerk ::" I trust we shall be able to make
you feel quite at home".
New Guest :: "
Please don't try it. I don't want to feel at home.
That's why I
came here".
How many...?
Advocate: This is Court of Law and
you ask your exact age madam,
Old woman: I… think... I … saw 45
Christmas ….
Advocate with
request: Now, please ask from how many years your eyes can not
look?
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