Dear friends,

I am so terribly sorry that I slept with your fathers. I don't know what was wrong with me. They were not all that attractive and I was very drunk. I sigh.

I suppose, Kris, that you're the best I can do after making a complete mess of the best relationship of my life. But don't worry, your flacid tool will not keep me occupied for much longer. I suspect I will resort to mating with things with four legs from here on out. It seems to be my calling, flinging myself at scum, since I've found out what I've lost.

Also, Kris, I like it better when Sethvir gives it to me from behind. It's much better than with you because the oozing sores of his make up for my lack of moisture. Not to mention his feces taste far better than your pathetic excuse for a toungue.

I will add more later, I have farm animals to attend.