On May 26 I will leave Oxford, having been here for 20 months, without a degree. That is not to say I didn’t keep myself busy. I ran with the cross country and athletics teams, rowed for my college, and even put in quite a bit of work for my degree. But I will not attend the ceremony in the Sheldonian, and my sub-fusc will likely never be used again. And the weeks since I made that decision were the happiest I have had in Oxford.
My decision at the beginning of Trinity term to withdraw my academic efforts was very liberating. I am not quite sure which decision was the biggest mistake—to come to Oxford or to do graduate work a la treading water. Ever since coming, I knew that I would be returning to the United States to enter a Ph.D program, so perhaps entering an M.Sc program here was not the wisest decision. Regardless of where I went wrong, I decided that I needed to do whatever I could to correct that mistake, hence my decision.
At this point, I am asking myself what I gained from my experience in Oxford, and I can come up with two positives: the friendships I gained, and the chance to compete in a relaxed athletics atmosphere. I gained practically nothing from my academic work. My goal had been to write a thesis, which required learning a lot of background material which will undoubtedly aid in my qualifying examinations in a few years. But it hardly feels like two years worth of work. Two years before I arrived at Oxford, I barely new how to integrate or what a dot product was.
Perhaps I should explain my experience. I was the recipient of a Rhodes Scholarship, which at times I feel is just an honor for those who are gullible enough to come to Oxford. My previous university record could not have been better, and I was looking forward to studying in my subject area a bit more at Oxford. The first term was very enjoyable. The locals said funny things like “cheers” and “rowing kit” and asked me if I was feeling fit or knackered before an upcoming race. I was awarded a full blue in cross country my first term, and I thought it was cool that I could still compete after using up my NCAA eligibility.
I was even excited about my course. Strangely, until first week there was no communication from my department, and I was told by my college advisor, the one and only time I have talked to him (her?) at a dinner that it was my responsibility to seek out my advisors. This I did, and they gave me a list of topics to familiarize myself with. I was even able to set up a weekly tutorial with one. I’m not exactly sure how my advisors were assigned, or why I was “lucky” enough to have two. I had thought there would be some time to decide what specific area I wanted to focus on, and to keep from getting stuck doing something I wasn't very interested in, I decided to switch advisors.
Unfortunately, it was all downhill from there. My advisor gave me a problem I could understand, but the methods for which were a complete mystery to me at the time. He gave me a list of books to read, and said we should meet “umm… how about once every two… no, let’s make it three weeks?” I set to work, and spent most of Hilary term in my room reading math books. There was even one worthwhile class for me to take that term. I think I met with my advisor once.
In Trinity, I kept up with my study, and seemed no closer to understanding how I might solve my problem. This continued throughout Michaelmas of my second year. I actually met with my advisor almost every week that term, and he would tell me things I already knew, which helped to reinforce them. I passed my viva voce. The day before I was to leave “on holiday,” my advisor showed up for our scheduled meeting 30 minutes late.
Perhaps the most catastrophic meeting came late in Hilary. He was not in his office at the scheduled time, and I wandered around a bit, and finally decided to leave. I passed an open door on the way out, and happened to see him there. It turns out he had moved into a new office, and failed to tell me this. I could hardly believe it. I also learned why I was having so much difficulty finding an approach to my problem. He had suggested a method beforehand, which I thought I just didn’t understand fully because I couldn’t see how it could work. Well, it turns out he was blatantly wrong, and a new problem had to be chosen. Of course, since I had shown up late, we were out of time. I wasn’t able to talk to him again until the second week of break, and he suggested a new problem for me. By that time, however, I didn’t see the point in trying any more.
I would like to say that most of the blame should fall on me. I did not put as much work into my thesis as I could have, and spent most of my vacations out of Oxford doing other things. As well, my advisor is extremely smart, very motivated in his research, and a decent teacher. The only area in which I think he seriously fails is his attention to students. Unfortunately, from the stories I hear from some of my friends, it seems like a fairly common theme in Oxford.
At this point, I would like to make a slight transition and focus on the broader theme of Oxford as an institution of learning. I can’t decide whether Oxford is just resting on its laurels, or has never been any good. Of course Oxford has been one of the world’s most important centers of learning for 800 years, and in terms of academic research is in the top tier, but as an institution of learning I would place it somewhere between Get Your High School Diploma On This Special TV Offer and the Makeup and Beauty College of the North-Central San Joaquin Valley.
Question: what does Oxford need to do to graduate smart and intelligent students? Answer: absolutely nothing! And it seems to be trying to do as close to nothing as possible. When the caliber of students entering Oxford is so high, learning doesn’t really have to take place, and the University’s reputation is built by those it has barely educated. And students keep coming, because of that reputation. It’s a self-perpetuating system, and utterly shameful considering the resources at its disposal.
Oxford advertises its teaching style as “different,” and uses the tutorial system as a selling point. But how much time do fellows spend each week working with students? Two or three hours, maybe, and beyond that almost no time for preparation. Some professors never even see students, a practice which is quite acceptable here. A fellow student’s advisor told her that “graduate students are just here to make my life easier.” Advisors seem annoyed by requests to look over a chapter of a thesis, and when they finally get to it return it with no more comment than “looks okay.”
From the experiences I have had and some fellow students have had, it is hard to believe that graduate students are willing to stay for three years. But then, I guess I wasn't. I fully believe that there was nothing I learned in Oxford that I could have learned more easily and thoroughly without Oxford and the confusion and uncertainty it brought upon me.
One would think that with time's passing time's past would look a little rosier, but I can't say that the picture I've painted above looks any more like bitter ranting and any less like the truth than when it was first written. While I would like to blame Oxford for all my faults, I must concede that my faults were around long before Oxford. But having left Oxford and begun a Ph.D program in the United States, I have come to realize that there is indeed truth to my complaints regarding that faulty learning system.