When The Game Is Not A Game Anymore 

By The Swammi

Achieving a balance between Madden and your life. 

As the time grows closer to Nationals IV in Los Angeles, the more competitive ballers will find themselves spending more time in the lab in an effort to be as competitive as possible at the 2002 Games. There is no question that more time in the lab in most cases will improve your game. However, there is a question that needs to be answered, what price are you willing to pay to be competitive at the highest level? Is this still a game? Or has it become an obsession in your life? 

Madden can easily become a mood altering event, and although it is not a substance to be consumed by the body, it can and does have a significant effect on the mind. Therefore, one could easily become addicted to playing this game. Some of you know what I’m talking about already.  

Competition itself is addictive. Some of us are so competitive that we drive ourselves beyond the limits, in the name of winning. But this is where the problem lies in most cases. Our desire for human competition in an effort to test our skills, many times infringes upon the comfortable and peaceful environment of the ones who loves us. Ask yourself this question. How many times has your wife/special one come home looking forward to spending time with you and only you…only to find you are getting a game in vs. your favorite sparring partner B. Hard? 

Madden can become a monster, a monster that you have created and must feed regularly. These are the telling signs that Madden is not just a game anymore, ask yourself are you guilty of some of these:

• You spend more of your free time (more than two hours DAILY) on developing your game, or league related activities than anything else you do. Think of it like this. There are 24 hours in a day. You spend 8 of those at work (if not more) that leaves 16. At least two of those hours involve the commute to and from, to leave 14, you should get about 8 hours of sleep, that leaves us about 6 hours a day to spend between the family and Madden. How do you spend yours?
• League night is as sacred as NFL Sunday.
• Instead of Sunday worship at church, you spend Sunday worshiping the lab.
• You would rather work in the lab than enjoy a Friday dinner or movie with that special lady.
• You are balling way past midnight with the fellas more than once a month.
• You find yourself at church scripting your first 15 plays on the church bulletin.
• You become obsessed with finding a way to stop your sparring partners money plays.
• Your phone bill has become outrageous because you spend so much time talking X’s and O’s with other MWS members.

Any of these sound familiar? 

I must admit I’m guilty of a couple of these myself. However, I try hard to achieve a balance between playing this game, and living my life. 

For me, my priorities are set well in place with GOD, family, career, and hobbies. Now Madden, the PFL, Nationals, and the MWS are all hobbies for me. Therefore, I must be certain that my priorities are always in line. If you are dealing with a situation where you and your special one is uncomfortable with you and this game, set your priorities first, then keep these few facts in mind.

• Besides GOD, women do not want ANYTHING put before them.
• Women are typically jealous creatures and they want our time and undivided attention.
• When she feels you are devoting too much time to Madden, she will look for other things to divert your attention from the game to her. This will become a test. And if you fail it, she will use the results of the test to measure her importance in your life. (i.e. “You would rather play this stupid game than spend time with me?”

Keeping the above mentioned facts in mind, you must now put together a game plan to achieve balance in your life, so that you can enjoy your hobby and feel good about the time you spend with your loved ones.

Here are a few suggestions The Swammi recommends. Keep in mind, these are suggestions targeted for married ballers, or ballers with a special some one in their life.

• Set your life priorities first. Establish what is important and don’t allow anything to occur out of order. However, Madden should not be #1 or #2 on the list!
• Make time for your lady and or your family. Every week look for an activity to do, whether it is going to a movie, going out to eat, bike riding, etc. Your lady wants time with you, so be sure she gets it.
• Plan ahead and think ahead. If you know the fellas are getting together Saturday night at about 6 PM, then surprise your wife with 2 tickets to a matinee on Saturday afternoon. Get your time in ahead so that later you can get your game on, and she won’t feel neglected. If League night is Friday, be sure she gets her time on Saturday
• After a long workweek, sometimes the weekend is best for couples to spend time together. The last thing she wants is to work all week, not spend time with you, and then you ball all weekend. Get some things happening during the week as well. Simple things like a late night walk, a cable TV movie, or bike riding are excellent for gaining what I like to call “Gold Pass Points.” Remember, women love to converse, and they expect us to listen. This is an excellent time to accomplish this.
• If you are going to have your sparring partner over to test your latest findings in the lab, do it when she is not there. When she is at the mall, do your thing. When she is at work… do your thing. When she is out of town, or at the hairdresser, do your thing. But when she gets home, have the house clear. Think about how you would feel if every time you came home from a hard day at the gig, and you are looking forward to a quiet night in the lab, she has that one girlfriend over that you are not that crazy about. That’s how she feels when every time she comes home you and B. Hard are going at each other on the game.
• If you are going to get a game or two in while she is there, don’t let it turn into every other night, or two or three times a week. I usually try to keep it to no more than once a week, and sometimes only twice a month. Remember that everything doesn’t have to happen at your house.
• Be considerate if you are balling late at night. Call into the crib and let her know you are alright, and still balling and you will be in a little late. If you don’t do this often and abuse the opportunity, she won’t mind. I try not to stay out past midnight balling more than once a month.
• Evaluate how much time you spend on the game, and how much time you spend with her. If she is not getting the most time…CUT BACK! Believe me, you will get peace.
• Limit your conversation about the game and the league to your special one. Even though she may seem supportive, at some point she will have enough of you and this game. Keep a limit on it.
• If you live together, be sure that the responsibilities around the house are met. A wife will always give a doorknob that needs to be fixed, or a leaky faucet more priority than your game plan. She won’t see the urgency of what you are trying to accomplish. Don’t even try to explain it. Just make sure that those responsibilities are met before sitting down to play.

Keep in mind that these are just some suggestions that I try to incorporate to keep things smooth in The Swammi’s crib. They may or may not work for you. They may not be applicable in your situation. Nevertheless, try them if possible and see if you get improved results. 

Lastly, as a struggling Christian, I would be remised in my duties as a leader in this community if I did not mention to you the significance of prioritizing GOD in your life. If you have not found a church home, make an attempt to do so. Now I won’t turn this column into a religious sermon, but I do want to share with you that through GOD we can find peace in our life, peace in our family and peace in our homes. If you are searching for peace, try GOD. You may have tried everything else, and you still haven’t found it, so why not try him. Once you began to study and understand GOD’S word, you will understand the secrets of prosperous living, success, and eternal happiness. GOD has blessed us with so many things just in this community. But he does not want us to replace him with this game. Once we learn to give GOD his time, balance will come…its inevitable. 

That’s all I will say. I have found that peace, and it’s an awesome feeling. If you want to talk about it more, simply email me at swammi@thepfl.com.

 

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