Yes, it is as sad as you thought it’d be.

The following filks (I’m told that’s the technical term) are arranged in some sort of subject categories; and no, there is no Physical Chemistry (at least, there wouldn’t be if I had my way).

All the lyrics are by me.  None of the music is.  That’s kind of the point, really. 

I’ll get on with it, shall I?

Inorganic

Deprotonated An ode to hydrochloric acid, based (based! I've done it again...) on Avril Lavigne's Complicated. Not that HCl is, particularly...

EDTAYMCA, the hexadentate way.  Oh, just humour me.

Fertiliser Basically, ammonia and the Haber Process to the tune of Delilah.  (Basically, get it?!  And that wasn’t even my joke…)

I’m Still Bonding: The Ballad of Magnesium Chloride Is it ionic? Is it covalent?  We don’t know, but it does a nice latticey thing.  Oooh!

A Deeper Shade of Blue If I had as many complexes as copper (II) I’d consider psychiatric assistance.  But then you’d probably say the same thing about people who write chemistry songs

Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Redox Titration) An ABBA-esque analysis of iron tablets – dancing round your retort stand is obligatory but not guaranteed to aid accuracy

Chemical Cell  Bat Out of Hell and electrochemistry – there’s got to be a link there somewhere…

The Phantom of the Practical Exam As if practical exams aren’t intimidating enough.  Don’t have nightmares…

My Favourite Things  Infinitely more likely to cheer you up when the dog barks and the bee stings than anything Julie Andrews ever came up with.  Well, it’s possible

I Believe in MO Theory  Apparently Father Christmas doesn’t exist and three-centre-two-electron-bonds do.  I’m not sure which is least plausible

Organic

Killer Benzene Benzene being splendidly stabilised, terribly toxic and not a little camp, based on Killer Queen

Chain Reaction A tribute to the radicals who revolutionised alkene addition.  Ha ha

We Can Hydrogen Bond A Grease-y duet between water and ethanol, doing their intermolecular thing to the tune of You're the One that I Want.

 I Wish I Had a Smaller pKa Another song about ethanol at Christmas...talk about chemical trends  

SN2 Think what would have happened to ABBA's career if this had been their Eurovision entry instead of Waterloo...ohh, what might have been

Do You See the Benzene Rings?  Because anything as depressing as Les Miserables deserves all the aromatic parodies it gets.  Of course, this might well be the only one, but still.

Bohemian Rhapsody According to Ethanoic Acid Ever wondered how a weak acid really feels?  Of course you have…

Biochemistry

 Protein Synthesis 2000 Biochemical Britpop based on Pulp’s Disco 2000 – and only a few years too late

The Enzyme Warp Never seen an enzyme-substrate complex do a jump to the left and then a step to the ri-i-i-i-ight?  You haven't lived…

Form a Phosphate-Ester Link (to Carbon Three)  DNA doing what it does best, based on Tie a Yellow Ribbon (Round the Old Oak Tree) 
 

Metabolise Based on I Will Survive – not without glucose oxidation, you won’t

More to come, potentially, when I next come across a concept I understand.

Until then…I don’t suppose you feel like signing the Guestbook, do you? ;o)

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