Anthony "The Enemy" D'Apice
The Enemy. Need we say more? For years this renegade has
been public enemy number one, not only in EBPL circles but
among the cognoscenti of the beer pong world at large. While the
enemy once showed promise as a budding professional, his game
$1 Reward for his capture.
has deteriorated in recent years to the point where he has
become the Mike Tyson of the beer pong world, watched more
closely for what he might do off the pitch than on. The Enemy has
the longest rap sheet of any beer pong professional, and has been
incarcerated in jails in both South Carolina and Louisiana for a
numerous misdemeanors, as well as convicted of felony assault in
New York. While his temper is legendary, his once legendary
skills have dissipated in the unfriendly glare of the media attention
which he himself sought. As a co-founder of the struggling
WBPL, D'Apice bears much of the responsibility for the
mismanagement and current disrepair of the once strong league.
But while analysts and observers agree that The Enemy has lost
the Midas touch, this former heavyweight refuses to reform or
repent. He is unapologetic for his infamous temper, and has
threatened the life of numerous EBPL members. He is also
wanted for causing the eviction of the 2001 Summer Major in
Panama City, Florida, from their tournament venue by throwing a
chair out an 8th story window at a security guard nearly 100 feet
below. For this and other reasons, he is considered the EBPL's
public enemy number one.
Jeff "Bulldozer" Hanzen
Never a serious contender in any major, Bulldozer Hansen's
career languishes in the same stage in which it unceremoniously
began during the summer of 2001, in obscurity. Despite a high
profile move from Atlanta, Georgia to Hamburg New York,
Wanted for Poor Playing.
Bulldozer Hansen has been unable to capitalize his unique ability
to appeal to fans in two different regions. Instead, he managed to
alienate the east cost fans by denouncing the EBPL and joining
the WBPL in what, in retrospect, was one of the most foolish
contract signings in beer pong history. Shortly after the
Bulldozer's pledge of allegiance to the WBPL, that league began
its slow and steady fall from grace. Is there a direct correlation?
Perhaps. The argument can be made that with the acquisition of
Bulldozer Hansen, the WBPL's strength of schedule and overall
league rating plummeted. However, he alone cannot be blamed
for the WBPL's most obvious shortcoming -- a general lack of
passion and charisma. Since publicly snubbing his close college
friends The Inventor and The Canadian by joining the WBPL,
Bulldozer Hansen has continued to be a mild nuisance to the
EBPL, sending derogatory hate mail to league officials,
threatening to disrupt league events and singing countless Britney
Spears songs on the voicemails of the the EBPL's top talent. He
is wanted for general hooliganism, unsubstantiated trash-talking
and being a poor sport.
Adam "The French Lover" Marquart
The beer pong world's most elusive character, the French Lover
Has not been seen in 2 months.
rarely emerges from his farm in rural Wyoming County, NY.
When he does, however, he invokes the ire of EBPL officials and
players without fail. If he is not drinking bottles of scotch before,
during and after official tournaments he is constantly attracting the
attention of local law enforcement for reported sexual encounters
with minors. Reminiscent of the troubled R. Kelly, the saga of the
French Lover seems perpetually tied to one alleged encounter
after another with women under the age of 18. His sexually
deviant lifestyle tarnishes the image of professional beer pong and
he is wanted for willful violation of the professional rules of
conduct as stated by the Beer Pong Employees International
Union (BPEIU).
