12 April 2004,
12.24 pm
The Haunting
It happened again.
The first time it happened, we were both guests. I was a foreigner in
his native land. We were in different groups and briefly mingled over
dinner. There was nothing to it, I didn’t even get his name, but his
face haunted me in my sleep and in my waking hours for months on end.
Now and then I’d wake up, his visage in my dreams. I still remember his
face, very clearly.
This time, another
person. There was something arresting about him. I don’t really know
him, yet his face was staring at me in my sleep and I woke up with a
start. Now I’ll count the months before this wears off.
שּׁלוס
11 April 2004, 6.40
pm
Easter Sunday
This Holy Week has
been interesting. For the first time in so many years, I was not in a
silent retreat. On one hand, I was looking forward to attending the very
solemn and heartfelt liturgies at the Loyola House of Studies’ Oratory
of St. Ignatius. On the other hand, I was anxious how it would be to be
in the ‘outside world’ once again.
True enough, this
Holy Week was religious cultural immersion time for me as another friend
and I were invited to join some priests in watching the cenaculo
(Passion play) in Cainta, Rizal. Cainta is around 30-45 minutes away
from Loyola Heights. It was remarkable how the events in far-off
Palestine around 2000 years ago were portrayed by the community, in
their own folksy way. According to Fr. R (one of the country’s foremost
religious art historians), Cainta’s cenaculo was traditionally
performed in the ricefields. But due to recent developments like
urbanisation, the peformers – the Samahang Nazareno in this case
– now have to negotiate yearly with owners of vacant lots for the
location of their Lenten presentation.
It was refreshing
to see the community’s efforts at putting up this yearly event. Although
the actors were in costume, one could see how they have indigenised and
internalised the dialogue, spoken in Tagalog. It felt as if the
performers knew the story from the bottom of their heart and that they
knew these events first-hand. This reminds me of the time I was in
Israel, listening to grandparents in the kibbutz tell their
grandchildren stories from the Hebrew Scriptures. Didn’t I used to
listen to my grandmother tell the story of Moses and Noah, of Samson and
Delilah, of King David, King Solomon and other characters as if they
lived in our own province in a time long gone by? The grandparents in
the kibbutz were narrating events which happened perhaps in a
place not too far from where we were, where I was a foreigner, yet I
could relate to it as if it was my own. But then, being Catholic has
made me own the narratives of the Judaeo-Christian tradition. And of
course, such is the power of oral tradition. Repeat a story often enough
and it becomes part of the collective conscious. It begets life anew.
Good Friday gave us
another kind of sensory experience. Fr. R took us to Baliuag, Bulacan to
see the caros (mobile tableau, on wheels for the procession
around the main streets of town) portraying scenes from the Passion.
Though I come from a town with the same tradition, I was struck by the
caros of Baliuag. There are around 70 of them and they are
extremely well-adorned. One of the priests, Fr. E, is Mexican-American
and said he could see so many similarities within our cultures such as
the love for pageantry. Since everyone in our party except me were
theologians, they couldn’t help but point out how baroque the Spanish
legacy in our religion is and how this has even pervaded rituals.
I should stop here.
There was too much sensory stimulation for me to process. I’ll do that
on another day.
HAPPY EASTER!
שּׁלוס
6 April 2004, 12.23
am
The books I’ve
lately been reading and exposure to different cultures makes me wonder
how gender roles have evolved in particular societies. Personally, I
grew up in a matriarchal household. My grandfather died before I was
born and my father when I was nine (9) therefore making my grandmother
and mother de facto heads of the household.
However, even with
my uncles around, I can still sense that it is the women who hold the
family together whether during crises and joyful events. Be it in family
or social situations, my aunties and female cousins would be in the
thick of things. During the martial law years, one of my aunties, a
Benedictine nun, would be at the forefront of the protest movement and
was always a frontliner during demonstrations. Our men are far from weak
and passive, it’s just that the women are extraordinarily strong.
In the national
setting, the Philippines in general can be considered a matriarchal
society. Historical documents show that when the Spanish first set foot
in the islands they were amazed that men and women shared equal status
in society. In Asia, Filipino women enjoy this empowered status though
women’s groups claim that there is still widespread discrimination
against women most especially when it comes to job opportunities and
compensation.
In my field, gender
and development (and/or environment) is a major theme. Most development
agencies nowadays tackle the issue of women empowerment side by side
with their focus area.
Gender roles in
religion are also a much discussed issue. The three monotheistic faiths
seem to have marginalised the role of women. It would be very easy to
condemn the role of the predominant religion but in many pagan
societies, females are not better off. Moreover, the evolution of
religion did not happen in a vacuum. The growth of certain religious
practices was definitely influenced by their specific context.
For someone with a
rudimentary background in ecology and evolution, I know that roles are
usually shaped by the environment. This makes me think: what was the
factor which shaped this behaviour?
שּׁלוס
5 April 2004, 9.45 pm
I have been meaning
to write about my
new blog site which is hosted by
Catsudon. She’s the one who
convinced me to start blogging, which I started on my do-it-your-own
Geocities page. I
practiced my codes and lay-outing skills on that one but had to put up
the site manually each time I had a new entry since I didn’t use any
blog facility. I also signed up with Blogger and Tabulas but didn’t
quite like the visuals. Since Blogger was a free site, I had trouble
uploading pictures and files and also couldn’t re-set the time to show
chronologically if I had more than one entry in a day.
Fortunately, my
hi-tech friend was there to the rescue! And the rescue comes free too! I
guess that comes with being the partner-in-crime in real and in virtual
life, hehehe! However, she tells me that I have to pay for the subdomain
with peanuts from the Good Shepherd Sisters in Baguio. Tsk, tsk! A cheap
price to pay since a bag of delicious garlic peanuts only costs a little
more than US$ 1 or an expensive price to pay because Baguio is around
seven (7) hours away by bus from Manila?!?!?! Friendship however, does
not count the costs and I would like to think that Catsudon would do
more for me and I would certainly do much, much more for her. What say
you, partner? Tee hee hee!
שּׁלוס