| A true story |
|
| I have some friends in Washington who have my photograph
posted on their refrigerator. One day, their two-year-old girl
Jasmine walked up to my photo and attempted to engage it in
conversation. "Hello, Johnny! Hello, Johnny!" she exclaimed. Amusedly, her mother explained, "He can't hear you, Jasmine." So little Jasmine took a deep breath and hollered, "HELLO, JOHNNY!!!" |
| Anecdotes |
|
| A linguistics
professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he
explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some other languages
though, such as Spanish and Russian, a double negative is still a
negative.
However," he pointed out, "never, ever,
in any language, does a double positive form a negative." A voice in the back of the room piped up, "Yeah. Right." |
An American pilot was flying
over the Australian outback when his plane malfunctioned and plummeted
to the ground. When the pilot awoke, he found himself in bed, in
an Australian hospital. "So," he asked the doctor, "Did I come here to die?" "No," the physician said. "You came here yesterday." |
| One-liners and other quick jokes. |
||
| I have
a hole in my sock. Darn it. |
Have
you heard about the computer programmer who was forever trapped in his
shower? He was following the instructions, "Lather, rinse, repeat." |
I've
been told that I do the work of three men: Curly, Larry and Moe. |
| I
wasn't allowed to date in high school. Well, my parents let me date. The girls at my school didn't. |
My
caffeine-stream is about 2% blood. |
I'm a
computer nerd. My life is a geek tragedy. |