Fly Away, Butterfly

fly away, butterfly

She's a little butterfly, let her fly, let her fly, fly away into the sky.
Dedicated to: Sister Mary Ann and her little butterfly, Barbara.

After talking to Sister Rosetta, Nick and the other four Backstreet Boys went around the dormitories. As they passed by some rooms, Brian was attracted to a very quiet room, where he could only heard a faint sound of someone talking. He quietly slipped away from the rest of the group and went into the room alone.

The first sight of the room was dreamily. 'A dreamscape would be the perfect word.' Brian corrected his thought. The faint sound of someone talking which he had just heard had loomed into a voice with a mild speech tone and crystal clear delivered words. It filtered into his ears like music being played from a piano.

He looked to his right and saw that the children were all sitting down on the cartoon-carpeted floor. Their heads were up, looking at the tiny figure who was sitting on a small stool with a pillow in her arms and three huge fans behind her.

She had pretty light blond locks that are cascaded down to her waist, which framed her delicately egg-shaped face, complete with rosy red cheeks and a pair of piercing hazel eyes. Dressed in a purple colored blouse and long white pants, she looked like a doll. Brian was fascinated with her story telling and before she began another of her story, he went and called the rest of the guys.

"You guys have to come and look at this girl. She is so sweet!"

When they entered the room, they kept their conversations in a small voice as the girl began her next story.

"The palace is a huge, huge place and the walls are make up of white fluffy pillows," the girl said, pressing the side of her face against her pillow.

Nick felt his eyes were getting a bit wet and Kevin, who was standing beside him, noticed his sniffing and offered him a piece of tissue from his pocket. This action came as no surprise to Kevin and the rest because they knew that Nick had a soft spot for them.

It pained Nick's heart to know that there were still people in this world who would abandon their children. He understood that some parents could not keep their children, due to financial problems or sickness. Some parents broke the law and had their children taken away from them. But knowing that the majority of the children had actually been abandoned, because their parents do not want the responsibility, pained him to the core.

"And inside the palace, there lives a princess and her butterflies. The butterflies were pretty and they were in many pretty colors too."

She reached into a plastic bag, which was placed beside her stool and grabbed a handful of something. The other children each had a plastic bag by their sides too and did the same. Without much preparation for what the guys are going to see next, there were rainbows of paper butterflies flying all around the room.

The girl stood up, placing her pillow on the stool and then proceed to dance in the mist of the paper butterflies as the rest kept throwing them into the air. The guys were awestruck by the scene in front of them. They could only stand there and watch her dance like an angel, marveling over the beauty of her soul.

Never before had Nick ever came across a child with such enchantment in her mind and soul and he was already silently wishing that she would be his little sister or even daughter. 'I couldn't understand why would anyone have the heart to abandon her.' he thought.

Nick watched as the girl put out her skinny hand, letting a pink colored paper butterfly landed onto her palm. She gave it a kiss and walked over to Nick, giving him the sweetest smile that he had ever seen and handed the paper butterfly to him.

"Seems like she had a crush on you." AJ joked while nudging him.

Nick rolled his eyes at him.

"Welcome to my castle! The queen must have sent you as the knight in armour to protect us from the pink dragon, right? Use this butterfly and attack it when it try to harm us."

Nick looked down at the girl and back to the guys. He was spellbound.

"Yes, my princess." Nick bowed to the girl with a gentle smile. "And what is my princess's name?"

"Zoë!" she said, beaming with pride. She is proud of her name.

Just then, Sister Rosetta came into the room asking for the boys. Zoë argued with Sister Rosetta, as she wanted them to stay and listen to her story, but gave in when the latter promised her a bedtime story.

...

"Sister Rosetta-" Nick started. "How old is Zoë?"

"She is five years old."

"I have a request, Sister Rosetta," he asked, shifting a little in his seat.

She looked at him. There was something in his demeanor, suggesting that he was going to bring up that same request which had been made by a number of people over this one year.

"Could I adopt Zoë?"

The rest of the guys looked at him wide-eyed, as if he had gone mad for a split second.

"That is a imbecilic request! I mean, look at you. You're just over twenty-one! You can't take care of a child!"

"I am a mature adult, AJ. Way before I turn twenty-one."

Sister Rosetta sighed. "I am sorry, Mr. Carter. But I can't grant this request."

Nick was about to open his mouth and say something when she put out her hand to stop him. "You're not the first to ask. We have many adoption requests for Zoë over this one year and due to the circumstances given, we cannot agree to any."

Nick's heart sank deeply into nowhere. "But why?"

Sister Rosetta hesitated for a second. But when she saw the vehement desire in Nick's eyes and felt that strong vibe of caring soul in Nick, she began to talk.

"Almost a year ago, when Zoë was first send in to Light Home, the social worker told us that her mom had contracted Aids and had already past away. We send her in for a blood test and by that time, her T-cell count had dropped sharply. The doctor confirmed to us, a week later, that she had contracted that fearsome virus."

Nick's hand flew to his mouth. "My god."

"The doctors were certain that she might not be able to live past her birthday..." she stopped for a while, wiping off the tears which had streamed out of her eyes. "All of us were very fond of Zoë. She is the angel of the home. This little child is truly a gift from God for she had brought us beautiful stories and laughers every now and then."

"Sister Rosetta!" A loud banging on the door disturbed their private moment in Sister Rosetta's office.

Sister Rosetta opened the door to find a terrified Fiona with tears in her eyes. "Sweet Jesus, what is wrong?"

"Zoë!! She..." Before Fiona could finish her sentence, Sister Rosetta flew straight to the dormitory with the rest of the people behind.

When Sister Rosetta and the rest reached the dormitory, the children were all gathering at a spot, looking down onto something. She prayed to Lord that this was not what she was thinking, but when the rest of the guys helped to disperse the children, she saw a fainted Zoë lying motionlessly on the floor.

"Oh my dear lord!" she exclaimed while deftly carried the small body up in her arms, rushing her to the hospital, which was only a street away.

...

"I'm sorry but all of you can't come in. This is an emergency room." the young nurse said, closing the door in front of their face.

Sister Rosetta held Zoë's little sliver necklace tightly in her hand. She rubbed the butterfly shaped pendant a few times while facing the window, praying to God to have a heart for this five years old girl.

"She has yet to go to school and make new friends. She has yet to go to Disney World to see her favorite idol, Goofy. And she have yet to learn how the butterfly was formed before it spread its wings and fly. There are still so many things that this wonderful child needs to do and learn before she comes to be with you. My dear Lord, please have a heart for her," she silently prayed.

A cell phone's loud signal beeped from Kevin's backpack and he reached into his bag and answered it. "Okay... hmm... " He looked up at the guys for a second. "All right, I'll call back later."

"The management?" the other three boys asked.

Kevin nodded his head and looked over to Nick. He was sitting on the cold plastic chair, starring at the emergency room blankly. In his mind, he was reciting all the prayers that he could think of.

'It was only for a few moments but I felt like I have known this child forever. Please gave her the life which she deserved like every normal child should have.' Nick prayed.

Turning back to them, Kevin sighed. "They want us back at the hotel and they're arranging for us to leave today."

Nick overheard what Kevin had said and flew up from his seat. "I won't leave today, Kev. I have to see that she is fine before I leave this place." Nick said. "You guys can go without me first. I'll catch up with all of you later."

Knowing Nick's stubborn nature, Kevin did not tried to stop him. "Nick-" he said. "We are going to stay behind with you. I wanted to know that she is well and fine too before we left."

Nick smiled. "Thanks Kev."

Kevin patted lightly on Nick's shoulder. "Come on, what are friends for? If you wanna stay behind, we will all stay with you." the rest of the guys nodded at Nick.

Turning his attention back to Sister Rosetta, he noticed that she was holding a necklace in her hand. He went over to her and requested for a look at it.

"It belongs to Zoë. She loves butterflies and her mother got it for her before she pass away." she said, the memory of how Zoë loved butterflies flowed into her mind.

A month ago, Sister Joyce, a friend of hers had given Zoë a monarch butterfly in its cocoon. Zoë was excited. She kept it in a jar, putting it beside her bed so that she can look at it everyday. When the cocoon turned black, she thought that it had died. But she explained to Zoë, how the little life was going to emerge soon. In a couple of seconds, the butterfly had emerged and was drying its wings. She held Zoë's hand as the butterfly took flight.

Nick took a closer look at the butterfly pendant and there was a small inscription on it. [You're a little butterfly. Fly away, into the sky.]

Suddenly, the door of the emergency room opened and the doctor came out. Sister Rosetta and Nick went up to him with all hopes in them. The doctor forced a smile on his face for a second and that dreadful sentence came out of his mouth. "I'm sorry. The virus is spreading too fast and the AZT which I had prescribed a while ago wasn't helping at all." he shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid we might lose her tonight."

Sister Rosetta was disheartened but she remained strong. As Zoë was pushed out of the emergency room and into the ICU ward, she grabbed tightly to her small bony hand, praying sincerely to God.

...

Night fell and Nick was sitting in the ICU ward together with Sister Rosetta. The rest of the guys were outside, watching them from the transparent glass window.

The sight of Zoë was a pain for anyone who loved her so dearly. In just one day, she was taken away from her usually warm bed and onto the cold hospital bed. She could not breathe on her own now and needed bottled oxygen to help her to do so. The ugly tubes were hanging all around her and the large bottle of morphine was already almost used up.

"Rosy..." the little voice called out Sister Rosetta's nickname. Zoë had given her this nickname because of her rose-like sounding name.

"She wants to talk." Nick said and took off her oxygen cover for a while.

"I saw mommy... We were... flying..." she said, the words coming out painfully and barely a whisper.

Nick looked at Sister Rosetta. "She always had dreams where she could fly. She was happy and free, flying like a butterfly," she said.

She tightened her grip on Zoë's hand. "Yes, you were flying, Zoë. Heaven is a nice place... Your mommy is waiting for you in heaven. It's time to let go..." her voice started to crack, while a silent tear fell from her eyes.

"Knight in armour..." Zoë murmured. Nick smiled a little, trying not to break lose of his emotions. "The dragon... coming... Butterfly..."

'Beep............................' The cardiac monitor let out a cruel monotone, which stabbed into their heart painfully.

Zoë had left. Left to be with her mommy in heaven. Left to fulfill her dreams of flying. Left to become a butterfly.

"You are going from a place of love to another." Sister Rosetta said, holding Zoë close to her.

...

Zoë's funeral was held on a windy and sunny day, with birds chirping away on the treetops. Nothing seemed gloomy and sad. As the cloth covering over her burial plaque was removed, grasps were heard throughout the group of people.

"God, who did it?"

"I can't believe this... I can't even describe it with words."

Was the burial plaque ruined? Or did someone vandalize it?

Nick quietly stepped away from them and went over to Zoë's burial plaque. He bended down on his knees and traced his finger along the beautiful, exquisite carvings of butterflies on the plaque.

"I did it." Nick said. "Sister Rosetta mentions that Zoë loves butterflies and so I carved them."

"Everyone, it's time!" Brian yelled from the back of the crowd.

All of them went to the table covered with white silk cloth and picked up a little drawstring bag. It was filled with paper butterflies and a small butterfly locket, which bears a photograph of Zoë. Nick thought up this nifty idea.

When everyone had retrieved the bag, they proceed to open it and draw a handful of the paper butterflies out. It was only a few days ago when Nick and the guys had witness the breath-taking scenery created by Zoë. Now, they are going to do this for her.

At the count of three, the beautiful blue sky was decorated with the rainbows of paper butterflies. Just then, two white butterflies fluttered across the sky.

Sister Rosetta closed her eyes for a moment and thought of Zoë. She thought of how the monarch butterfly did not died. She thought about Zoë's dreams of flying. When she opened them again, one of the little white butterfly was resting on her hand.

She smiled.
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She's a little butterfly, let her fly, let her fly, fly away into the sky.
Dedicated to: Sister Mary Ann and her little butterfly, Barbara.

After talking to Sister Rosetta, Nick and the other four Backstreet Boys went around the dormitories. As they passed by some rooms, Brian was attracted to a very quiet room, where he could only heard a faint sound of someone talking. He quietly slipped away from the rest of the group and went into the room alone.

The first sight of the room was dreamily. 'A dreamscape would be the perfect word.' Brian corrected his thought. The faint sound of someone talking which he had just heard had loomed into a voice with a mild speech tone and crystal clear delivered words. It filtered into his ears like music being played from a piano.

He looked to his right and saw that the children were all sitting down on the cartoon-carpeted floor. Their heads were up, looking at the tiny figure who was sitting on a small stool with a pillow in her arms and three huge fans behind her.

She had pretty light blond locks that are cascaded down to her waist, which framed her delicately egg-shaped face, complete with rosy red cheeks and a pair of piercing hazel eyes. Dressed in a purple colored blouse and long white pants, she looked like a doll. Brian was fascinated with her story telling and before she began another of her story, he went and called the rest of the guys.

"You guys have to come and look at this girl. She is so sweet!"

When they entered the room, they kept their conversations in a small voice as the girl began her next story.

"The palace is a huge, huge place and the walls are make up of white fluffy pillows," the girl said, pressing the side of her face against her pillow.

Nick felt his eyes were getting a bit wet and Kevin, who was standing beside him, noticed his sniffing and offered him a piece of tissue from his pocket. This action came as no surprise to Kevin and the rest because they knew that Nick had a soft spot for them.

It pained Nick's heart to know that there were still people in this world who would abandon their children. He understood that some parents could not keep their children, due to financial problems or sickness. Some parents broke the law and had their children taken away from them. But knowing that the majority of the children had actually been abandoned, because their parents do not want the responsibility, pained him to the core.

"And inside the palace, there lives a princess and her butterflies. The butterflies were pretty and they were in many pretty colors too."

She reached into a plastic bag, which was placed beside her stool and grabbed a handful of something. The other children each had a plastic bag by their sides too and did the same. Without much preparation for what the guys are going to see next, there were rainbows of paper butterflies flying all around the room.

The girl stood up, placing her pillow on the stool and then proceed to dance in the mist of the paper butterflies as the rest kept throwing them into the air. The guys were awestruck by the scene in front of them. They could only stand there and watch her dance like an angel, marveling over the beauty of her soul.

Never before had Nick ever came across a child with such enchantment in her mind and soul and he was already silently wishing that she would be his little sister or even daughter. 'I couldn't understand why would anyone have the heart to abandon her.' he thought.

Nick watched as the girl put out her skinny hand, letting a pink colored paper butterfly landed onto her palm. She gave it a kiss and walked over to Nick, giving him the sweetest smile that he had ever seen and handed the paper butterfly to him.

"Seems like she had a crush on you." AJ joked while nudging him.

Nick rolled his eyes at him.

"Welcome to my castle! The queen must have sent you as the knight in armour to protect us from the pink dragon, right? Use this butterfly and attack it when it try to harm us."

Nick looked down at the girl and back to the guys. He was spellbound.

"Yes, my princess." Nick bowed to the girl with a gentle smile. "And what is my princess's name?"

"Zoë!" she said, beaming with pride. She is proud of her name.

Just then, Sister Rosetta came into the room asking for the boys. Zoë argued with Sister Rosetta, as she wanted them to stay and listen to her story, but gave in when the latter promised her a bedtime story.

...

"Sister Rosetta-" Nick started. "How old is Zoë?"

"She is five years old."

"I have a request, Sister Rosetta," he asked, shifting a little in his seat.

She looked at him. There was something in his demeanor, suggesting that he was going to bring up that same request which had been made by a number of people over this one year.

"Could I adopt Zoë?"

The rest of the guys looked at him wide-eyed, as if he had gone mad for a split second.

"That is a imbecilic request! I mean, look at you. You're just over twenty-one! You can't take care of a child!"

"I am a mature adult, AJ. Way before I turn twenty-one."

Sister Rosetta sighed. "I am sorry, Mr. Carter. But I can't grant this request."

Nick was about to open his mouth and say something when she put out her hand to stop him. "You're not the first to ask. We have many adoption requests for Zoë over this one year and due to the circumstances given, we cannot agree to any."

Nick's heart sank deeply into nowhere. "But why?"

Sister Rosetta hesitated for a second. But when she saw the vehement desire in Nick's eyes and felt that strong vibe of caring soul in Nick, she began to talk.

"Almost a year ago, when Zoë was first send in to Light Home, the social worker told us that her mom had contracted Aids and had already past away. We send her in for a blood test and by that time, her T-cell count had dropped sharply. The doctor confirmed to us, a week later, that she had contracted that fearsome virus."

Nick's hand flew to his mouth. "My god."

"The doctors were certain that she might not be able to live past her birthday..." she stopped for a while, wiping off the tears which had streamed out of her eyes. "All of us were very fond of Zoë. She is the angel of the home. This little child is truly a gift from God for she had brought us beautiful stories and laughers every now and then."

"Sister Rosetta!" A loud banging on the door disturbed their private moment in Sister Rosetta's office.

Sister Rosetta opened the door to find a terrified Fiona with tears in her eyes. "Sweet Jesus, what is wrong?"

"Zoë!! She..." Before Fiona could finish her sentence, Sister Rosetta flew straight to the dormitory with the rest of the people behind.

When Sister Rosetta and the rest reached the dormitory, the children were all gathering at a spot, looking down onto something. She prayed to Lord that this was not what she was thinking, but when the rest of the guys helped to disperse the children, she saw a fainted Zoë lying motionlessly on the floor.

"Oh my dear lord!" she exclaimed while deftly carried the small body up in her arms, rushing her to the hospital, which was only a street away.

...

"I'm sorry but all of you can't come in. This is an emergency room." the young nurse said, closing the door in front of their face.

Sister Rosetta held Zoë's little sliver necklace tightly in her hand. She rubbed the butterfly shaped pendant a few times while facing the window, praying to God to have a heart for this five years old girl.

"She has yet to go to school and make new friends. She has yet to go to Disney World to see her favorite idol, Goofy. And she have yet to learn how the butterfly was formed before it spread its wings and fly. There are still so many things that this wonderful child needs to do and learn before she comes to be with you. My dear Lord, please have a heart for her," she silently prayed.

A cell phone's loud signal beeped from Kevin's backpack and he reached into his bag and answered it. "Okay... hmm... " He looked up at the guys for a second. "All right, I'll call back later."

"The management?" the other three boys asked.

Kevin nodded his head and looked over to Nick. He was sitting on the cold plastic chair, starring at the emergency room blankly. In his mind, he was reciting all the prayers that he could think of.

'It was only for a few moments but I felt like I have known this child forever. Please gave her the life which she deserved like every normal child should have.' Nick prayed.

Turning back to them, Kevin sighed. "They want us back at the hotel and they're arranging for us to leave today."

Nick overheard what Kevin had said and flew up from his seat. "I won't leave today, Kev. I have to see that she is fine before I leave this place." Nick said. "You guys can go without me first. I'll catch up with all of you later."

Knowing Nick's stubborn nature, Kevin did not tried to stop him. "Nick-" he said. "We are going to stay behind with you. I wanted to know that she is well and fine too before we left."

Nick smiled. "Thanks Kev."

Kevin patted lightly on Nick's shoulder. "Come on, what are friends for? If you wanna stay behind, we will all stay with you." the rest of the guys nodded at Nick.

Turning his attention back to Sister Rosetta, he noticed that she was holding a necklace in her hand. He went over to her and requested for a look at it.

"It belongs to Zoë. She loves butterflies and her mother got it for her before she pass away." she said, the memory of how Zoë loved butterflies flowed into her mind.

A month ago, Sister Joyce, a friend of hers had given Zoë a monarch butterfly in its cocoon. Zoë was excited. She kept it in a jar, putting it beside her bed so that she can look at it everyday. When the cocoon turned black, she thought that it had died. But she explained to Zoë, how the little life was going to emerge soon. In a couple of seconds, the butterfly had emerged and was drying its wings. She held Zoë's hand as the butterfly took flight.

Nick took a closer look at the butterfly pendant and there was a small inscription on it. [You're a little butterfly. Fly away, into the sky.]

Suddenly, the door of the emergency room opened and the doctor came out. Sister Rosetta and Nick went up to him with all hopes in them. The doctor forced a smile on his face for a second and that dreadful sentence came out of his mouth. "I'm sorry. The virus is spreading too fast and the AZT which I had prescribed a while ago wasn't helping at all." he shook his head sadly. "I'm afraid we might lose her tonight."

Sister Rosetta was disheartened but she remained strong. As Zoë was pushed out of the emergency room and into the ICU ward, she grabbed tightly to her small bony hand, praying sincerely to God.

...

Night fell and Nick was sitting in the ICU ward together with Sister Rosetta. The rest of the guys were outside, watching them from the transparent glass window.

The sight of Zoë was a pain for anyone who loved her so dearly. In just one day, she was taken away from her usually warm bed and onto the cold hospital bed. She could not breathe on her own now and needed bottled oxygen to help her to do so. The ugly tubes were hanging all around her and the large bottle of morphine was already almost used up.

"Rosy..." the little voice called out Sister Rosetta's nickname. Zoë had given her this nickname because of her rose-like sounding name.

"She wants to talk." Nick said and took off her oxygen cover for a while.

"I saw mommy... We were... flying..." she said, the words coming out painfully and barely a whisper.

Nick looked at Sister Rosetta. "She always had dreams where she could fly. She was happy and free, flying like a butterfly," she said.

She tightened her grip on Zoë's hand. "Yes, you were flying, Zoë. Heaven is a nice place... Your mommy is waiting for you in heaven. It's time to let go..." her voice started to crack, while a silent tear fell from her eyes.

"Knight in armour..." Zoë murmured. Nick smiled a little, trying not to break lose of his emotions. "The dragon... coming... Butterfly..."

'Beep............................' The cardiac monitor let out a cruel monotone, which stabbed into their heart painfully.

Zoë had left. Left to be with her mommy in heaven. Left to fulfill her dreams of flying. Left to become a butterfly.

"You are going from a place of love to another." Sister Rosetta said, holding Zoë close to her.

...

Zoë's funeral was held on a windy and sunny day, with birds chirping away on the treetops. Nothing seemed gloomy and sad. As the cloth covering over her burial plaque was removed, grasps were heard throughout the group of people.

"God, who did it?"

"I can't believe this... I can't even describe it with words."

Was the burial plaque ruined? Or did someone vandalize it?

Nick quietly stepped away from them and went over to Zoë's burial plaque. He bended down on his knees and traced his finger along the beautiful, exquisite carvings of butterflies on the plaque.

"I did it." Nick said. "Sister Rosetta mentions that Zoë loves butterflies and so I carved them."

"Everyone, it's time!" Brian yelled from the back of the crowd.

All of them went to the table covered with white silk cloth and picked up a little drawstring bag. It was filled with paper butterflies and a small butterfly locket, which bears a photograph of Zoë. Nick thought up this nifty idea.

When everyone had retrieved the bag, they proceed to open it and draw a handful of the paper butterflies out. It was only a few days ago when Nick and the guys had witness the breath-taking scenery created by Zoë. Now, they are going to do this for her.

At the count of three, the beautiful blue sky was decorated with the rainbows of paper butterflies. Just then, two white butterflies fluttered across the sky.

Sister Rosetta closed her eyes for a moment and thought of Zoë. She thought of how the monarch butterfly did not died. She thought about Zoë's dreams of flying. When she opened them again, one of the little white butterfly was resting on her hand.

She smiled.