1. When you see a girl/guy you like, the first feature you notice about him/her is his/her:

big, juicy brain
kind heart
beautiful eyes
lovely bone structure
flawless skin
well-formed urinary tract

2. If you could be any kind of animal, you would be a:

surgeon-bird
tit mouse
baby seal
owl
urine monkey
baboon
grizzly bear

3. You like to wake up at:

4 AM
7:30 AM
noon
midnight -- you avoid daylight if possible
You never sleep

4. Which of the following songs do you like best?
"Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"
anything by Marilyn Manson
"In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel
"Like a Virgin" by Madonna
"Like a Surgeon" by Weird Al
"Photograph" by the Verve Pipe
you only like the ticking of a metronome

5. Your favorite outfit consists of:

Scrubs
bloody scrubs
a white coat
a nice suit
ripped jeans and an "I'm with stupid" T-shirt
khaki slacks and matching sweater
urine-soaked scrubs

6. Your best friends are:

surprisingly normal
under age 8
women
constantly urinating on you
insane
asleep
dead

7. Your favorite food is:

artichoke heart
veal
veggie patties
kidney beans
eye of newt
chicken wings
chicken breast

8. In medical school, your philosophy was:

You studied a lot and it paid off
P = MD
F + make-up exam = MD
You were always first in the class, even if it meant murder
Why study when you have friends in high places?

9. Your TV hero is:

Dr. Peter Benton on "ER"
Dr. Quinn, medicine woman
that guy from "Scrubs"
Big Bird
Muldor or Scully, you can't decide
Frasier Crane
Al Bundy
the Noxzema girl

10. Your favorite color is:

blood red
piss yellow
flesh-colored
clear
bone white
brown
pink
gray
baby blue

11. When you were a kid, you wanted to be a:

doctor
police detective
fireman
ballerina
systems analyst
nanny
bum
orthopedic surgeon

12. Imagine you are standing in the lobby of a building and you have to get upstairs. Before you is a staircase and a rather slow elevator. What is the least number of stairs you'd be willing to walk up rather than taking the elevator?
None -- you're taking the elevator no matter what
You'd be willing to walk up one flight, but no more
Two flights
Three flights
Four flights
No matter what, you're walking up

13. Who is your favorite superhero?

Batman
Superman
Wonderwoman
The Incredible Hulk
Spiderman
Professor Xavier
Radioactive Man
Aquaman
Daredevil
The Power Puff Girls
The Flying Anesthesiologist

14. The one household item you cannot live without is a:

TV
vanity mirror
bed
microwave oven
microscope
toilet
carving knife

15. I'd most like to be:
filthy rich
just rich
moderately wealthy
upper middle class
just filthy

16. Your favorite deadly sin is:
(interpret this question freely)

gluttony
sloth
greed
vanity
wrath
envy
lust