The New Webster's dictionary defines abuse as: to turn from the proper use, to ill-use; to deceive; to vilify; to violate. Abuse comes in many forms and it can be repeated in our every day lives when we are aware of it or not. The definitions below came from a wonderful book called Child Abuse Prevention Handbook which was written by Evelyn Ruddy and Judi Fairholm. Judi is the Program Trainer for Child Abuse Prevention Program for Adolescents at the Canadian Red Cross, BC/Yukon Division.
"Child abuse is any form of physical, emotional and/or sexual mistreatment or lack of care which causes injury or emotional damage to a child" under the age of 19 as per laws in the United States and Canada. Child abuse is a very serious problem in every society because of its hidden, tolerated, discounted and denied aspects that has existed for centuries. The abuse may be passed down generation to generation unless the vicious cycle stops. Alcohol and/or drug abuse may or may not play an important factor. Child abuse belongs under the heading of family violence.
"Emotional abuse is a pattern of destructive behaviour and/or verbal attacks by an adult on a child's development of self-esteem." There are many types of emotional abuse. Some of them are as follows: "Rejecting: responding to a child's need for love, affection and support in hurtful and destructive ways." "Terrorizing: causing a child to be terrified or extremely frightened by constant use of threats and/or intimidating behaviour." "Ignoring: failing to give any response to or interact with the child at all." "Isolating: shutting a child away from family members and friends." "Exploiting/Adultifying: using a child for the adult's advantage and/or profit - giving a child adult responsibilities far greater than children of that age can handle." "Corrupting: encouraging a child to do things that are illegal, anti-social and harmful to themselves."
We really need to realize that no parents are ultimately perfect. Parents do make mistakes in how they treat their children especially the things that we regret doing because we might be tired, angry or stressed. But when those occasional incidents become more frequent, intense and long-lasting, the effects on children can be so severely traumatizing. Most survivors rather be physically abused then emotionally abused because the emotional pain is so everlasting and painful.
"Physical abuse is any physical force or action which results, or could result in non-accidental injury to a child; it exceeds that which could be considered reasonable discipline. Children are beaten, kicked, punched, thrown, smothered, burned, dropped and hit with objects - often in the name of discipline." Unfortunately many children die from physical abuse. I know that many survivors including myself have gone through much of the physical abuse in the name of discipline and religion whether the child was in the right or wrong. Many times when there is major crisis situations in the family, physical abuse can result to the spouse and the children.
"Physical neglect is a the failure of the caregivers to provide for the child's basic needs - food, clothing, adequate shelter, supervision and medical care, to such an extent that the child's health, development and safety is threatened." Abandonment and rejection can also be forms of neglect. Neglectful parents and caregivers can be found in every socioeconomic level of society with the emphasis on poverty and mental illness. Neglect occurs when parents or caregivers choose not to provide adequately for the child.
"Sexual abuse occurs when an older child, an adolescent or an adult uses a younger child for his/her sexual stimulation or gratification. In some cases the abuser may be the same age or younger but has more power and misuses it. There are two distinct types of sexual abuse: Non Touching Touching. These occur when children are manipulated, bribed, threatened or forced."
"Incest is sexual abuse within the immediate or the extended family."
"Ritual abuse is a combination of severe emotional, physical, sexual and spiritual abuse used with symbols, ceremonies and/or group activities that have a religious, supernatural or magical meaning. The abuse is repeated over time with the purpose to terrorize, silence and indoctrinate the victims." Ritual abuse is something we think as unthinkable and unbelievable because of the horrors that survivors have went through as children. Ritual abuse can happen in the home, the church, the daycare center, the school, and the private places such as the barns, the garages and in the basements. The abusers always have some sort of a belief system that places a value in violence and harm to the children. Programming, torture, drugs and pornography normally play a role in the abuse. Animals and other forms of objects also play a role in creating the desire affect for the abusers to get what they want or desire from the children.
Ruddy, E and Fairholm, J: Child Abuse Prevention Handbook Copyright by the Vancouver Police Union Charitable Foundation, 1996