About 4 weeks later I was diagnosed as having panic disorder.Took the occasional dose of serapax(oxazepam) when I was out.I found a herbal sedative in 1994.It was 500mg of passionflower extract.I would take 3 x a day and was able to resume living a reasonable life and tried to find a cure for the disorder.
By December 94 I began to experience food and chemical sensitivities.(So I found out later thats what its called).By 1995 my health had worsened.I was a mess and using a bit of valium to help.I ended up in hospital and put on kalma which is the cheapo brand of xanax here in Australia.
I was given rivotril(you call it klonopin)briefly.It didnt seem to treat panic disorder but made me feel okay.
I gradually was able to get on with my life but I was having problems with Kalma so I switched to xanax and that helped despite being the same drug but made by a different company(same recipe).
I had found "tranx/pada" here in australia which is the only benzo support service in australia.You could visit them or get advice over the phone.
By 1998 I was in despair.Nothing was working and I now needed a cure.My mother's chiropractor came along at her request and he offered me this: neuro emotional technique or net for short.
I didnt have any choice and tried it.Having nothing to lose we kept doing it every 2 days sometimes for an hour and even longer.
By July 98 I was finding I would get bad headaches about 3 hours after taking xanax so for the next dose I reduced the tablet by a small piece and my headache was gone.But,this became a common thing from this point coz every time I got that headache I just reduced the next dose.It seemed like the net was working wonders and the xanax was in the way.
By August I really felt a lot better and my food sensitivities were no where near as bad as they had been.My body felt like it was starting to work properly.
My dad died in mach 1999 and I needed to speed up the healing so out of desperation I rang a metaphysics bookshop who has an alternative health directory.They put me on to natural healers who do a healing massage.I kept having that done every month or so and it made a big difference.
On June 15th I went benzo free after 4 years and 2 months of xanax(and kalma).I became agoraphobic within 3 days and life was hard then.I moved out of my home in late July and could only travel half a mile at the most so now I live (literally)around the corner from my old place.I could drive around the local streets but that was it.
I was having a few symptoms but not many for the first 6 months benzo free.About 12 months benzo free I copped benzo fatigue while I was in my car and came home quickly.I parked the car,walked inside and collapsed.I was so exhausted.10 days later it was gone.I resumed driving nearby.About 2 months later benzo fatigue came back and I've had it since.
The chiropractor who did net no longer had the time to do home visits so I found the most brilliant chiropractor and he did so many techniques.He explained to me why I had panic disorder but that he could get rid of it too.I wasnt gonna argue.Sure enough,he got rid of it.He was fatally injured in a car accident 2 years later.
He was the one that explained lymphatic drainage to me and put me onto his good friend who was the bast massage therapist in the state.I was having it done every 2-3 weeks and have it done every so often now.
In the meantime I had gone through every withdrawal symptom.I wasnt suffereing everyday though.I had good days and bad days.The good days got longer and the bad days got shorter.
In march 2003 I bought my first computer.I was 3 years and 9 months benzo free and joined the first benzo group.I joined this one soon after.I had no idea that I could be of help to other sufferers.
I still have benzo fatigue and sensitive hearing but I feel so normal apart from that.
I am now 4 years and 11 and 2 weeks months xanax free.
Regards
Chris to talk to Chris e-mail him at <krisdenick@iprimus.com.au>
Feedback, Feedback cont, More Feedback, Your Stories, Your Stories cont, Further Stories, More Stories, Links, Guestbook, E-Pals, Jodi's Essay, Webrings,