A father from Rotterdam, Tom, made his tearful goodbyes to his son on Tuesday 24 August at 13:45 outside the Raad voor Kinderbescherming in The Hague. After an unsuccessful struggle for more than a year to see his son, he has been forced to give up the fight. "My son is being used as a weapon against me", he says,"and reluctantly, I have come to realise that to continue the struggle will only continue the suffering my son has otherwise to endure".

Tom's goodbye to his son took place on the steps of the Kinderbescherming. It was heartbreaking to watch. Representatives of the Equal Parenting campaign group Fathers 4 Justice were present to provide Tom with support from fellow fathers. Many of their members have also been struggling for years to get access to their children. 

Tom last saw his 5 year old son in early June 2003. His new partner of 2 weeks, and her young son met Tom's son for the first time. His ex-wife immediately accused Tom's new partner of sexually abusing his son. The AMK (child abuse office) investigated and found no evidence that any abuse had taken place. The Raad van Kinderbescherming in Den Haag was asked to produce a report advising the court. The report when it finally arrived was a huge shock for Tom and his new family. It contained only the claims of the mother, and omitted the findings of the AMK. Similarly it had not interviewed any person who could contradict the story of Tom's ex-wife.

 

Tom explains: "I am horrified that any parent would attempt to use their own child as a weapon against the other parent. The damage such behaviour inflicts on a child is deep and lasting. I am horrified that our so-called kinder-bescherming (=lit: child "protection") actively promotes such behaviour".

 

The Kinderbescherming claim that "truth finding" is not part of their remit. Yet the Kinderbescherming produce the report which advises the court as to whether a father gets access to his children or not. How can the justice system permit an advice to the court which is not based on truth? Yet this is exactly what is happening 27 times every day in the Netherlands.

 

Tom has little hope to be able to see his son again. He has legal custody, but to continue a fight to see his son will only encourage more accusations and brain-washing of his son. "It was the most difficult decision in my life", said Tom, "but ultimately one I had to make. If the authorities are not prepared to seek the truth, and instead actively promote the unfounded claims of the mother, I have to try to do what will minimise the psychological harm to my son. And sadly, he is loosing his father in the process, yet as a father under current Dutch family legislation, you are powerless".

 

The Kinderbescherming is an organisation intended to protect children from abuse - yet 27 children a day are severely abused by this very organisation which claims to protect them. Every day 25 children will never see their father again, and a further 2 children will never see their mother again. Not because that parent is a bad parent, but simply for the convenience of the custodial parent - and to maximize the profit of family lawyers, further the careers of kinderbescherming employees, and finance the new contact-centers industry. The effects on the excluded parent are immense. Many excluded parents (90% of cases the father) are traumatized and financially destroyed by the legal system. 70% end up in the WAO (disability) at tremendous economic cost to the economy. The effects on the children are even more traumatic and long lasting.

 

A spokesman for Fathers 4 Justice said: "We have asked members to respect Tom's privacy and grief. The members present today are here to support Tom whilst he makes his goodbyes. The corruption of justice in the Dutch family law system is both a national and international scandal." The spokesman added that "Over half the cases - an estimated 40% of income, of lawyer firms comes from the Dutch family law system. We suspect that Minister Donner (the Dutch Minister of "Justice") truly wishes to resolve the deepening crisis in the family legal system, but is too afraid of the consequences from the legal industry which has a massive financial interest in keeping the system so biased against children. Yet, in a civilized society, our children's welfare must take priority over the massive financial profits in the family law industry".

The video may be viewed by clicking here