Keeping Things in Perspective

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Columbus who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. One of my sisters, who lives in Dublin, is married to a transvestite.

My parents live in the nice suburb of Worthington and both of them have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana.  They
are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes and live in Grove City.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a life sentence in Lucasville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994.  The other brother is currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to a former prostitute who lives in Atlanta and is still a part time "working girl", but only during the conventions.

All things considered, my main problem is this: I love my fiancée with all my heart and look forward to bringing her into the family.

However, I also want to be totally honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Michigan fan?

Signed,
Worried About Reputation.



GO BUCKS!!!!!