Name: Frail (You might as well be me)
Author: Emmuzka
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, their rightful owner do.
Pairings: Not really, but hints at 2x5, 3x4, possibly others.
Rating: PG for the subject matter
Warnings: Angst, sap, preggie, abuse of English language.
Note: Wu may seem a little ooc, but that will be (hopefully) explained in the story.
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Frail (You might as well be me)
By Emmuzka
Chapter 1
minus 273 days
Run! Smoke in his lungs. Hard to breathe. Got to get outside. Twenty seconds before the electric locks would activate again. If Duo baka didn’t screw it up, that is. Fifteen… Ten… He dived. The heavy door opened with a soft thud, not audible in the chaotic noise of full alarm. Wufei trotted to the lawn, avoiding the illuminated spots. Suddenly he was thrown in the ground. The guard dogs warned about themselves by growling only in the movies. He rolled and tried to kick the dog away, but dogs are more agile than humans. The huge rotweiller weighted probably the same that Wufei and it was not going to back off. The dog was all over him, reaching to his throat, and if Wufei still had had his gun, he would have shot the dog. His hand searched something, anything, to use as a weapon against the dog. Barbed wire stung in his hand, cutting deep. He crabbed the wire and shoved it in the dog’s mouth, as deep as he could. The rotweiller jumped and started to cough and claw, making muffled sounds. Wufei got up and continued to the fence.
He could hear that his hunters were near. He got the four meter high fence in his sight. Maybe he would be able to climb the fence and jump off before the OZ soldiers would reach the clearing. He ran to the fence as fast as he could, preparing to jump on the fence without stopping. Then he heard the hum. The kind of hum that would only meant one thing: The power was back in the fence. He was running towards an electrocution. He stopped himself half a meter before the deadly fence. And raised his hands.
The soldiers escorted him into the cell. They tried to act hostile, man-handling him roughly, but they seemed to be in high spirit. They are celebrating the capture of only one enemy? What for? He knew he was the only one since this had been a two-man mission and Duo could have shut down the electric locks only from the outside of the compound. If he only could have handled the fence too. Wufei knew it was not Duo's fault: The blueprints of the estate had been over a year old and there had probably been new alterations.
The soldiers shoved him in. He started immediately study his surroundings. Everything was white? This was not a prison cell. He quickly tried the door. For someone planning an escape, it would as well be a cell. No windows and a solid door without a keyhole. He now inspected the whole room and the tiny bathroom with it. White walls, white floors, a bed, a table, a chair… The first thing that came to Wufei’s mind was that if the cliches were right, this could be a room in a mental hospital. But when he was in the hands of OZ, it was probably worse
He was left to his own devises in the night. There was nothing to do, so Wufei deducted it would be the best to just sleep while he could. In the morning, or he presumed it was morning, since he had no watch or a source of daylight to confirm that, He was transported through the white corridors to a room that really looked like a hospital room, an examination room, to be precise. The soldier left the room and he was left with two middle-aged men with white coats and a bulky security guard.
One of the white-coat-men approached him and came to stand still right in front of him. Wufei wasn’t intimidated.
"You are prisoner Chang, Wufei. We are here to do you a full medical examination. We do not tolerate any resistance."
So they were doctors. Wufei kept staring at them, but his posture made it clear that he was not going to start arguing about the situation.
"First, take your clothes off." Wufei did that. Normally he would have recieved a gown at this point, but they didn’t offer one. He didn’t ask. He didn’t let himself to be embarrassed or even self-conscious about standing naked in front of the men. He tolerated calmly the examination and the intense stare of the security guard like he thought nothing of it, but silently he wondered what was happening. In his knowledge, prisoners were submitted to examinations only when there were some private party interfiering, making sure that the prisoners were treated decently. Surely that was not the case, because then the observer would have wanted to talk to him personally. Hmph. Like he was going to ask… His calm faltered when the other doctor took out a camera. If they wanted a reaction out of him, they sure got it.
"Hey! What the fuck are you doing?"
The doctor with the camera replied irritated. "These are for documentation."
Wufei was already regretting the loss of his patience, but couldn’t resist trying to turn this to victory. He took a pose and sneered at the cameradoctor.
"Take good ones, while you’re at it, I know you take doubles for your private album, you pervert."
Hit and sink. The doctor looked like he was going to hit him, but had a second thought at the last moment. He finished quickly and stormed out of the room. The other one ordered him to dress and called the security to take him back to his room.
He sat on the metal bed face to the door and waited. He was ready to say it out loud, -well, not out loud, but to himself- that he hated the hospital environment. Give the prisoners to the mad scientists, make them nameless subjects, guinea pigs and white rabbits. That was historically requiring way to fight psychologically. This was only a charade, a futile attempt to mess with peoples mind.
Next time they came in the room they were prepared for resistance. There were ten of them, filling the whole room He managed to kick two of them before they subdued him and threw him on the bed. He was being held down by his hands, legs and waist when he was injected in the hip. His struggling got weaker every second, then stopped.
minus 270 days
He woke up. It was not like he woke up from sleep, it was like he just woke to notice that he wasn’t dead. He knew that this kind of nausea and sore throat were the signs of anesthesia, so he had probably been through a surgery. He tried to pinpoint the source of the ache in his body, but he could only locate it in somewhere in his mid-section. He tried to move. The result was small, he only managed to turn his head a little. Just trying to get a sense of his surroundings exhausted him and Wufei fell back to sleep.
The second time he came around he was much more coherent. He looked through the room. He was obviously monitored every way possible minus actually having somebody sit there by him and watch. He was not well enough to get off from the bed, so the first task would be to learn as much of the situation as possible. He critically inspected his body. There have been made a major operation in his lower stomach area, but in his skin there were only two cuts, both only a couple of inches wide. There were also small fresh cuts in his upper arms. When he touched the stitches, he could feel small capsules under his skin in each cut. This was bad, very bad indeed. No, stupid baka, this was not "bad", this was horrible! Get out , get out, now! He managed to kept it cool, though his mind was screaming that something really wrong was happening here.
A stranger came to the room. She was a stylish woman in her 30’s with a slight smile and confidence in her walk.
"Hi, Wufei, how are you doing? My name is Electra and I almost dare to say that in here, I’m your friend."
Wufei just looked her with cold eyes.
"You see, as you might have figured out, this is a facility for research, funded by Romafeller. Well, officially, that is, but I think that this whole project is for military use only, at least for now." She smiled at him again.
So you think you can make "us" and "them" in only two sentences? You are as much of an enemy as the rest of them as long as proved otherwise. He kept staring.
"I’m your support person, or a liaison, if you will. The thing is- and I feel very privileged to be the one to tell you this- you are now a one of a kind. The military have studied the ways to produce offspring without female interference for four years now, and the results have been the most promising. If this experiment will succeed, and I know it will, it will change history. When reproducing can be separated from biological sex, the barriers between the culturally produced genders, the manifestations of men and women will fall!"
What on earth was the bitch babbling about?
She sobered for a moment, smiling again, this time sheepishly. "I’m sorry, but it makes me so overwhelmed. What I’m telling you is this: You are pregnant. You will have a child. And I will be here to support you all the way." She tried to take a hold of Wufei’s hand, but he refused to be touched.
He answered calmly. "You are lying. You are all lying. Now get the hell out of my sight."
Her smile faltered. "I know that this is hard for you to understand, but you will. Eventually. I leave you be now. If you need anything, just call me and I see what I can do."
She left, obviously disappointed and almost slammed the door shut behind her.
He was left alone to think, which he did. Okay, now I know their lies and I have to figure out what they are truly planning for me… It was not possible. The science could build colonies in space and huge mechas with witch to fight freedom, but it could not have changed the deterministic places of men and women. Women were to bear children and men were to protect them. Men and women were themselves only halves, but together they were one. Science couldn’t change something that was given by gods.
Wufei didn’t believe anything the bitch had said, but something indeed was driving the medical personal to examine and measure him all that time. They fed him only healthy food, - too healthy, they find out, since he had lactose intolerance and he threw up all the milk products. They showed dozens of pills in little orange plastic cups for him and expected him to swallow them, no questions asked. He was furious. They told him that one explanation -pregnancy, ha!-and they obviously had decided to stay with it, although their patient kept demanding the real reason for his treatment.
minus 256 days
He was so frustrated! Why couldn’t they just leave him alone. He was once again escorted to the examination room for more probing and poking. Finally he snapped.
"No, you can’t weight me. No, you can’t measure me in any way, and you CAN’T TOUCH ME!"
He lowered his voice back to normal from screaming, but the tone was poisonous.
"You have obviously orders to not to hurt me, but who stops me from kicking the shit out of you? The only thing for you what’s left is overpowering me and you really want to spend an half an hour per pill to shove them down my throat?" He snarled.
Remotely he noted that he acted not like himself. One time he was fine and the next moment he couldn’t bear being touched. He had to think about this… Later.
The medical personel were really pissed off in that point. Yeah, like they were spending their time on him just for fun. He was not a paying customer, so why they kept expecting him to act like one He was put back in his room. He sat down on the bed to wait for the bitch, just like several times before. The cold shoulder from the personal didn’t bother him.
"Hi. I heard that you acted out again today. You know that it doesn’t get you anywhere?"
"Yeah, it does, it got me to a better mood. Look, I’m smiling already!" He gave a morbid grin to underline his sarcasm.
Electra-bitch seemed lost. "Listen Wufei, you just have to endure, you know it’s for the best of the baby. Look, you could just sit and relax, let us do all the worrying and concentrate on your baby."
"Oh, that will work, you just walz here and figure out that if you ASK NICELY, I would promise to be a good boy and do what I’m told. In your dreams, onna!"
Now she got mad."It's always you, you selfish little bastard, always about you! Won’t you ever think about the baby first!? Well, if you don’t co-operate, we just have to try this again with one of your fellow pilots! They are not as hard to catch as they think they are! We caught you and you could be only the first one!"
Now Wufei sobered. He knew it was probably just a bluff, but he could not count on it."Okay, I’m sorry."
The bitch continued to rant.
"I SAID, I’m sorry! I wont be any trouble from now on."
She had tears in her eyes. "Really? Oh, Wufei, I’m so glad!"
Wufei suppressed a sigh. One battle lost, but in war, there were countless battles.
From that incident on, he didn’t resist the examinations. —a lot. Otherwise, he behaved, -or didn’t- in the way he liked. He was bored. He felt anxious. Time to time, he tried to and often succeeded to amuse himself by throwing the food they gave him in the wall, breaking furniture or stuffing a towel down the bathroom sink and creating a flood. He broke the big mirror that had been brought to his room to "help him maintain his self-image". There had to be psychologist behind that door somewhere… He felt nauseous and vomited on his bed sheets when he couldn’t get to the bathroom in time. He sang. He could not remember when he had actually learnt to sing Ramsstein and Nine Inch Nails, but that had to be something he catched from Duo. He pretended to have a seizure or just started to moan holding his stomach just to summon the guards in and then attacking them. He stopped that after they started punishing him by turning the lights off for 24 hours. He stopped behaving irrationally and destructively too. He got tired easily. He also felt that he wasn’t doing all that raving and shit to entertain himself anymore, but putting on a show for the scientists.
As weeks vent by, he learned to endure his imprisoned life with scheduled examinations and not much else. Days were dull and he returned back to calm and cool, creating a schedule for himself, complete with tai chi and kata exercises.
minus 218 days
Wufei woke up from his slumber. He just had to stop sleeping in daytime, no matter that there was not much else to do. He groaned and rolled under the thin blanket, stretching his aching muscles. The muscles in his torso ached constantly these days. Suddenly Wufei was wide awake. Did he just rubbed his belly? Why the gesture? He was not pregnant, he was not... He was. Oh god, he was. There was something inside him, like worm that would eat him inside and grow bigger. His body was ravished, touched without a permission and now there was an unholy intruder in his body. INSIDE his body! He stumbled from the bed and hurried to the bathroom. He felt like throwing up. He tried to vomit in the sink but nothing came out. He stuck fingers in his throat and that finally made him vomit. He believed now. He was dishonored in a horrible way. He curled to the bathroom floor, where the guards later find him.
Chapter 2
minus 217 days
"Hi, Wufei. Are you feeling better?" Bitch was kneeling on the floor, looking at him worriedly. The guards were at the door of the bathroom. "You know that we can’t leave you unguarded in the bathroom for longer than ten minutes. We found you from the floor. Were you hit by a migraine? Or were you having dizyspells? We want only to help you and the child."
Wufei was now a lot calmer. He knew what he was going to do. The only honored thing that was left. The execution of his plan was only a matter of time so he would keep up with the bitch just a while.
Wufei stared at the white floor. "Yeah, I’m okay. I just.. I just realized, that I’m ..I’m pregnant, for real."
She smiled genuinely to him. "That's good to hear! Your attitude and participation in this is really important to the child. The baby can feel your moods, you know?"
The hell it can, thought Wufei. It's just a worm. "Really? So I should like... Talk to it, or something?" That was too much, she would never buy that...
"That would be really nice, but only if you want to." She beamed at him.
The stupid bitch is totally ignorant to the fact that I just threw up and then tell her that I did that BECAUSE I realised what was really going on...
She gently supported him and he managed to walk back to the bed with some dignity.
"I’m okay now, so..."
The Bitch didn’t make a move to leave. Did she thought that he would spill his guts to her or something? He stood up carefully.
"I would like to be alone now. ..and talk to it." Oh my god, that was lame.
"Of course."
She wanted to help him to the bed and this time, he let her, just to get rid of her as quickly as possible. He wanted to be alone, he had a plan to finish.
An hour later he decided that it was safe to go to the bathroom again without anyone asking why. He made a quick inventory of what was available. No razors, of course, but that would not stop him. Toothpaste, mouth water with alcohol, alka-selzer, low-dosage ibuprofein, clerasil... what? Do you have zits when pregnant? Soap, shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, moisturiser... thermometer? Without quicksilver, though. A couple of fake migraines and these would be plenty enough.
He was nice and quiet for next couple of days. He explained his sudden change of mood by migraines and stashed expertly all the medication he got for it. He also made a habit to go to the bathroom at least every two hours, so the guards monitoring him got used to see him disappear in the bathroom. He stretched the time he spent there and after six "alarms" the guards got tired on checking him after ten minutes and just let him feel nauseous at his own peace. Timing would be the most important thing in this, every minute would count.
minus 214 days
Wufei got up. Today was a good day. Today he would do it. Luck seemed to be in his side in the breakfast, because today there was sandwiches, not porridge. He smuggled some of them in the bathroom and ate rest. He got still his stomach full, because usually they tried to feed him so much food that he thought it was ridiculous. After lunch he disappeared in the bathroom again. It was now or never. This was against time. Wufei started with all the medications he had in the room, ibuprofein and parasetamol for headaches, anti-nausea drugs, mild sleeping pills... He swallowed all down and ate little to keep them there. He felt the rush immediately. Good, it made this whole lot easier. Next he gulped down the mouth water and clerasil, taking small bites of bread to keep them down. He was feeling really awful, now. Lastly he ate the soap and shower gel. He collapsed while opening the cap of the shampoo bottle. Then everything went black.