One

Way

Ticket

By Wayne Duplessis, and Chris Hogan

EXT. A car whips into an American university parking spot. Mark Bauer, a man in his early thirties and clearly in a hurry, gets out of the car and pops the trunk. .

It is dusk. The pinkish sky fades to orange, and orange will quickly become redder and then purple before a black mass envelopes the campus.

EXT. In the parking lot

Disaster. Mark digs for his ratty notebook, slide projector. Mark struggles to free his crap from the clutches of the jumper cables. He checks his watch. He dumps everything on the ground.

MARK

Shit.

Grabs his crap, slams the trunk, checks crumpled map. A highlighted circle around the English Lit. Building.

OUTSIDE CAR

He checks his locale. He does the rational thing. He panics and begins wildly waving his arms to flag down a girl on a bike. She skids to a stop.  

GIRL

Do you want me to kill you? Idiot!

MARK

Sorry. Hi. Could you possibly point me in the right direction? I've got to give a lecture in the English Lit. Building and I'm kind of turned around.

He hands her the map.

GIRL

It's right in front of you.

She takes off.

Mark scurries to the brick building, struggles with the massive door. Enters.

INT. LECTURE Room 03

Disheveled and clearly agitated he enters the room. Glances to clock: 7:16. Glances to full room of bored students.

MARK

Sorry I'm late. I'm Mark Bauer. Tonight I will be talking to you about the great opportunities for teaching English overseas.

A STUDENT WITH DREADS raises his hand.

STUDENT WITH DREADS

I thought this was supposed to be a seminar on the power and influence of Quentin Tarantino on western Civilization.

MARK

I don't know anything about that.

Just then, a Student with a Pompadour pokes his head through the door.

Pompadour

(To the class) There has been a change. Tarantino's seminar - upstairs - 202.

A handful of people leave.

MARK

(To himself) Great.

Mark grabs his slide carousel from the table.

Okay. So, have any of you been overseas?

A MUSCLE GUY in front,

MUSCLE GUY

I've been to Tijuana.

MARK

Good. However, I don't think that's really considered overseas.

The muscle guy gives Mark an intimidating look.

MARK

Of course, if you're British or Australian.

Then yes, you are absolutely right, that qualifies as overseas. Exactly.

Mark attempts to load his slide carousel onto the projector.

MARK

Okay, we'll get started in just a minute. I've just got to get this on here, and..

The damn thing will not fit. He is flustered. He forces it. He applies too much muscle and he dumps the carousel. Slides fly everywhere.

MARK

Crap. I have the worst luck with these things.

A pretty girl, APRIL, comes to his aid.

MARK

Thanks. I'll remember you in my will.

MINUTES LATER

The lights go out. Projector light hits the screen. Mark standing in the back, remote in hand.

MARK

Okay. Let's get rolling.

Mark clicks to the first picture. A tan guy is exposing a bare ass, and mooning the crowd at a bar. It is thankfully a side shot. Tropical shorts down to his knees. A very white ass fills the screen. The slide draws chuckles from the tiny audience.

MARK

Where'd that come from?

Click. Next frame: A grungy bar in Indonesia - a bunch of drunken people round a table, holding up their beer bottles to the camera.

MARK

Skip that.

Next. frame: the Red-light district in Surabaya.

MARK

Moreover, skip that.

A GIRL in back,

GIRL

You haven't told us where you taught overseas.

MARK

Right. Thanks for keeping me on my toes. I like that. Actually, I was in Indonesia.

GIRL

Jakarta?

MARK

No. Good guess. Jakarta would have been my first choice. The pay is a bit better.

Clicks the remote several times and lands on a slide of himself, pointing to a chalkboard.

MARK

Here. This is good. This is me on my first day teaching English at an English School. In Indonesia, there are many English schools. They range from good to bad.

Remember: Wherever you're teaching, it's important to maintain a professional attitude even if the cockroaches are as big as VW Bugs.

GIRL

How long were you there?

MARK

Almost six years.

GIRL

Wow. You must have seen a lot.

MARK

Yeah, if you're not careful you'll see

Mark reflects on the picture.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CLASSROOM. Surabaya.

Mark, in wrinkled clothes, at the chalkboard pointing to the word pencil written on the board. The sweltering room full of spoiled Indonesian teenagers. A small fan in the corner running at full-bore.

MARK

Okay. Let us do that again. Pencil

He wipes the sweat from his face.

CLASS

Penis

MARK

No. Pen ciiiLLL

CLASS

Penis.

MARK

Not penis. Pencil. Pencil. It should roll off the tongue. Pencil.

Mark picks up a pencil.

MARK

Repeat it. Please repeat it.

He gestures to them to repeat the word to their neighbor. The kids lean to their neighbor and repeat 'penis.

The bell rings.

MARK

Thank God.

Dissolve TO:

INT. University CLASSROOM. EUGENE, Oregon.

Mark clicks to another slide: Mark waving goodbye in front of TRANS ASIA AIRLINE gate at the airport.

MARK

That's me at PDX.

Next slide.

MARK

That's me saying goodbye to my parents. Mom is pretty choked-up here.

Next slide. Close-up of Mark's face.

MARK

That's a self- portrait on the marathon flight to Singapore.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. PLANE. Economy class, window seat.

A flash goes off. Mark is snapping a photo of himself. Seated next to him is a Chinese man. A beautiful Asian stewardess approaches. She's busting out of her long, high-collared dress.

STEWARDESS

What would you like to drink?

MARK

I'd like some oranges; I mean orange juice. You have orange juice, right?

Stewardess

Yes.

(To Chinese man) And for you, sir?

Chinese Passenger

A double martini

She serves Mark his dinner. Mark is visibly uncomfortable with the odd meal. The guy next to him is wolfing down his meal. Mark opens his chopsticks and grabs a glob of the stringy stuff.

INT. LAVATORY LATER

Mark pukes his guts out in the lavatory toilet. His face in the bowl.

INT. LAVATORY Much Later

An Asian businessman knocks on the door. Mark is resting his head on the seat. His face is pale.

MARK

Read the sign.

The man looks at the sign:

MAN

Occupied. My apologies.

Mark rolls his head over and heaves into the toilet.

EXT. Surabaya. Juanda airport.

A TRANS ASIA 747 plane lands in Surabaya, Indonesia.

INT. It is mid 1997. Indonesia's economy is in turmoil. PLANE. FRONT.

Mark exits the plane.

STEWARDESS

Thank you for flying with us.

MARK

(Indistinct grumble)

He almost, but not quite, manages a smile

Passengers leave the aircraft by a portable stairway and walk right onto the tarmac.

EXT. JUANDA Airport Just outside the terminal. Mark, in sunglasses, with his suit jacket wrapped around his head like a turban, carefully makes his way down the crowded ladder, and walks across the asphalt.

INT. Baggage claim

Mark looks for his luggage to slide down the conveyor.

Mark finds an Indonesian Baggage claim manager.

MARK

It's black. About this big. It has a blue scarf tied to it.

Mark pantomimes the size of his missing bag.

BAGGAGE Claim manager

Scarf? Apa?

MARK

Like this

He pantomimes wrapping around neck

BAGGAGE Claim manager

No, no Sir. It is not that bad. We will find it.

He seems quite concerned that Mark will kill himself right then and there.

BAGGAGE Claim manager Yes.

Black. How are you?

MARK

Fine. I lost my luggage. It is black. About this big. Have you seen it?

Baggage CLAIM MANAGER

Yes. Black. How are you?

The head Customs OFFICER in a perfectly pressed uniform, expensive sunglasses, diamond Rolex, gold rings, polished black leather shoes, approaches Mark.

CUSTOMS OFFICER

What seems to be the problem?

MARK

Yes. Finally. Thank you. Someone who speaks English.

CUSTOMS OFFICER

I speak English perfectly.

MARK

Good. I am looking for my bag. It's black. About this size.

Customs OFFICER

Well, we have many bags like what you described. Bags pass through our hands every day. For a small processing fee, we should be able to locate your bag.

MARK

How much is this processing fee?

CUSTOMS OFFICER

The larger the fee, the easier it is to find your bag.

MARK

I see. Is twenty dollars, okay?

CUSTOMS MGR.

Yes. I suppose we can find your bag in three or four months.

MARK

Thirty dollars?

CUSTOMS OFFICER

Five or six weeks. It should turn up by then.

MARK

Fifty dollars.

CUSTOMS OFFICER

I can have it to you by the end of the week.

MARK

How do I know I can trust you?

CUSTOMS OFFICER

Here. Take my card.

The officer hands mark a gold embossed business card.

CUSTOMS Officer

Call me on Friday. I will have your bag. What is your name?

MARK

Mark Bauer.

CUSTOMS OFFICER Okay, Mr. Bauer, you give me the fifty U.S. dollars and I will look for your bag.

EXT. Surabaya Airport.

Several Indonesian hotel employees holding signs for various hotels. Mark glances around. He does not see his name on any sign. He approaches one sign holder.

MARK

Are you from Meridian School? Meridian?

SIGN HOLDER

No. Sorry.

Mark walks up to a Woman

MARK

Meridian?

SIGN WOMAN

She looks past Mark as she speaks.

They cheap. They never come pick up.

MARK

What?

SIGN WOMAN

Yeah. You have to take taxi.

MARK

Taxi?

SIGN WOMAN

They have bad reputation.

As she speaks, she sees the person she was waiting for and bolts. Mark is left with his mouth open.

MARK

Excuse me?

9.

The group giggles.

THE GROUP

Excuse me, Help Tolong. Apa? Ha ha ha (and variations)

MARK

Taxi? Bad reputation?  I cannot believe this. Anybody got any ideas

All the hotel employees nod their heads in unison. Mark takes one look at them and wavers from the heat. It is damn hot almost enough to knock you down. The group hovers over him waving their signs in his face.

MARK

You have no idea, do you?

Again, they nod

EXT. TAXI

Mark gets into a taxi.

DRIVER

Bapak, mau Kemana?

MARK

Look, I do not speak Indonesian. Just take me to a hotel.

DRIVER

Hotel?

MARK

Hotel. Yes. Hotel.

The driver turns up the radio and guns it. Mark sinks into his seat. Elvis's "SUSPICIOUS MINDS" wafts out of the dirty speaker.

EXT. STREETS OF Surabaya

The driver sings along as he whips around the small streets dodging motorcycles, pedestrians and potholes.

EXT. View from TAXI WINDOW

Mark glances out to the dirty crowded streets. It's a different world. Becaks (pedicabs), vendors, open sewers, trash, filth, and people everywhere. Mark spots a few white guys walking out of a massage parlor.

AT A STREET LIGHT

Several kids rush to Mark's taxi and bang on the windows trying to sell their goods.

KIDS

Money mister, money.

The driver honks the horn.

EXT. HOTEL 

The taxi pulls off in a cloud of diesel smoke. When the smoke clears, Mark is left standing in front of the dilapidated hotel.

INT. HOTEL DESK

A bored clerk hangs up the phone.

HOTEL CLERK

How may I help you?

MARK

1'd like a room.

HOTEL CLERK

How many in your party?

MARK

One.

HOTEL CLERK

Do you like big or small windows?

MARK

Big, please. I am a bit claustrophobic.

HOTEL CLERK

Okay. Here is your key. You are in room number14. That is 70,000 Rupiah a night.

MARK

(Digging for his wallet.)

I can't find it. I’ve lost it in the taxi.

MARK

Can I pay you tomorrow? I have to get some money exchanged.

HOTEL CLERK

It is, as you say, no sweat.. However, I will need some collateral.

MARK

I lmost never say no sweat. I do not have collateral. The airlines lost my luggage.

The hotel clerk glances to Mark's nice leather oxfords.

INT. HOTEL Room

Dirty green walls. Hasn't seen a decorator since the 70s.

Mark is exhausted. He looks at himself in the mirror.

MARK (To mirror)

You made it.

He walks over and draws the large curtain. The dirty window is as big as a shoebox.

He pries the rusty window open, and looks out at the hustle and bustle below.

MARK'S HOTEL Room - later

Mark with a towel around his waist passed out on the bed. The phone rings. Mark fumbles for it.

MARK

Hello.

HOTEL CLERK

Hello. There is someone in the lobby to pick you up.

MARK

Oh. Now they decide to pick me up.

He hangs up. Walks into the bathroom, pulls his wet clothes off the shower curtain, wrings them out in the sink and throws them on.

INT. LOBBY minutes later

Mark walks down the stairs barefoot. Waiting for him is a large young man in wrinkled white slacks, untucked dress shirt and an incredibly loud tie.

ANDREW

(He is a big, bouncer-sized Scottish guy in his twenties.)

Mark Man?

MARK

That's me.

ANDREW

Hi. I'm Andrew from Meridian. Heard they left you high and dry at the airport.

Happens all the time. They're cheap bastards. Well, it is best you learn the ropes up front. Luggage?

MARK

Lost.

ANDREW

Don't tell me they fed you that line of bull?

Mark nods.

ANDREW

No worries. I've got connections.

Do not wear wet clothes. You'll get used to sweating your ass off in this heat.

EXT. Andrew's motorcycle

Mark is shoeless and hanging on as Andrew weaves through traffic.

EXT. Meridian SCHOOL

Andrew and Mark pull up in front, and walk inside.

INT. SCHOOL Administration desk

Mark and Andrew enter the office. OSCAR, the nattily attired British academic coordinator, sits behind his desk eating a pastry.

ANDREW

(To Oscar)

Oscar, I want you to meet Mark Bauer, the new teacher from America.

Oscar looks Mark up and down, while eating a pastry.

OSCAR

Sit down. So, you are the American.

Oscar notices Mark is barefoot.

OSCAR

Good God, where are your shoes? Don't they wear shoes in America? Is that one of the many cultural influences the colonies lost after we left?

MARK

I had to leave them with the beautiful cockroach hotel - for collateral.

Do me a favor? Please don't lose what remains of my luggage. I was stranded. Then, to top it off, some taxi driver is out there having a heyday with my credit cards and traveler's checks.

OSCAR

Well one must come prepared for each and any situation.  Don't you think?

Strange. Our driver must have forgotten to pick you up. Well, then. No matter. All that should concern you is that you're here in Surabaya. You are here at Meridian.

Through the door comes a nicely clad Asian man. He looks like he's walked out of a store window.  Oscar gets up and says to Mark.

OSCAR

Mark, allow me to introduce our gracious, caring host, and the administrator of this fine facility, Joseph Kubianto.

Joseph shakes Mark's hand almost as an afterthought.

JOSEPH

Stop Oscar you will make me all red with your polite ways. Hello Mark, nice to meet you. You are so handsome and white. I love white teachers. Oh you are not wearing shoes, so Versace, and fashionable too. Oscar, get Mark whatever he needs. I must go. I have a facial and a massage that calls my attention.

(He looks at Oscar.) How's my English? Be honest.

OSCAR

Perfect, sir.

JOSEPH

Oscar, you are too very kind.

OSCAR

Well Mark, Andrew will show you where the supplies are. Your first class is in ten minutes.

MARK

I'm not even prepared.

OSCAR

Prepared? You should always be prepared.

MARK

What?

He stands stock-still. He's stunned

OSCAR

Adapt and overcome. Keep a stiff upper lip.

I'm joking, Mark. Relax. Treat it as practice. You'll get your feet wet. Get over the jitters. It'll be fine. I'll be right there. Okay?

INT. Reception Area

Mark and Andrew leave the office. Mark looks at Andrew in disbelief.

MARK

Does this happen all the time?

ANDREW

What's that?

INT. TEACHER'S ROOM

ANDREW

Asking a rookie to start teaching on the first day without any prep. Not cool.

ANDREW

Yes, usually. I'll show where the supplies are. What level is it?

MARK

Beginner?

ANDREW

Oh fuck.

MARK
That sounds promising

INT. CLASSROOM. Surabaya

A classroom with a long table and 12 students.

Oscar sits at the back of the class. Mark stands to the left of the large white board.

MARK

Hello everyone I am your teacher Mark.

Mark could be mouthing words or speaking Greek for all the reaction he's getting.        

MARK

Hello everyone. I'm your teacher. Mark.

Students turn to each other and look perplexed. A tall, thin girl in her teens shrugs her shoulders. She asks the boy sitting next to her a question.

MARK

Do you know what I'm saying?

STUDENT

No, I cannot speak English.

MARK

Is there something I should know? (Under his breath)

Do you guys know any English?

CHINESE GIRL PEGGY

I speak a bit.

MARK

What can you say?

PEGGY

I can sing Mary had a Little Lamb

ADRIAN

I know that.

MARK
Anything else?

ADRIAN

Adrian responds in Indonesian.

I cannot say anymore.

MARK

Of course you can, everybody can.

Let's sing Mary had a Little Lamb

Do you guys like Rap?

BOY

Rap, yes I like.

INT. LATER Same lesson

Mark is writing the words to Mary had a little lamb on the whiteboard. Splits the class into two. Then the group begins to rap. It's very bad. It's embarrassing, but they are doing it together.

Mark is leading the rapping with his shirt pulled out and wearing a baseball cap turned sideways. He sings with the students            

GROUP 1

Mary had a little lamb

GROUP 2

Whose fleece was white as snow.

GROUP 1

And everywhere that Mary went

GROUP 2

That sheep was sure to go.

INT. Students are exiting the room. Mark is standing near the door.

ADRIAN

Thank you Mr. Mark. We had fun in class today. Usually the fucking teacher is boring. But you not. You is fucking nice.

MARK

Well, that's nice. Thank you for being here.

INT. Meridian School, Day

Yuliana, a young and attractive secretary, sits at the long front desk. Mark walks in.      

YULIANA

You have to go to your new home now. You can go with the driver. You stay with Jose.

MARK

Jose? Have I met him?

YULIANA

I don't know. He's American or Canadian.

MARK

Canadian? I have to go back to the hotel and collect my things.

YULIANA

No need. They threw your things in the street this morning.

MARK

What?

YULIANA

They said you didn't pay. Don't worry. The boss has paid, but now you must move and here is the address. You can go now.

MARK

Now?

YULIANA

No, now you have a meeting with Mr. Kubianto. In the teacher's room.

You're already late.

MARK

I'm late?

YULIANA

You ask a lot of questions. Go to the meeting.

INT. TEACHER'S ROOM

A few teachers hover near a small, low table with a distressed looking green tablecloth. Flies are buzzing around what appears to be stale pastries and warm orange juice.

Teachers are working on lesson plans, or just sitting around all looking drained and sweaty. They toil as the broken air- conditioner drones in the background

Oscar enters.

OSCAR

Okay, everyone. Remember when Mr. Kubianto comes in and starts speaking look attentive and interested.

NATE

I don't understand him when he speaks.

OSCAR

That's okay, there's not much to his verbiage anyway.

The most important thing is that we all

NATE

Hey, howse 'bout fixing this fucking air conditioner.

JOANNE

Just shut up. Now here he comes.

NATE

Hell of a manager

MARK

Hmmmmmm

ANDREW

Real salt of the earth. Great leader.

MARK

Hmmmm

NATE

For Christ sakes, shut up, Bauer

OSCAR

Please be quiet, Mark

Mr. Kubianto, a short, portly Armani-clad native. On his hands are pink and gold pinky rings.

OSCAR

Welcome, Mr. Kubianto.

KUBIANTO

All teachers here?

OSCAR

Yes sir, please go ahead.

OSCAR

I just want to say hello. Hello

KUBIANTO

Hello. Now, we start, I just want to say thank you for helping make English good language and my school good. We can't pay you anymore what you are earning.

TEACHERS

What?

KUBIANTO

We pay you more, from now on everyone gets another 300 Rupiah a week.

OSCAR

Very generous of Mr. Kubianto.

KUBIANTO

No problem, but I need to see a new teacher. Mark, yes.

Mark? Where are you?

MARK

Right here.

KUBIANTO

Mark everyone , everyone Mark.

OSCAR

Perfect Mr. Kubianto.

KUBIANTO

Well. Mark is from Russia.

STEFF

Oh, yeah.. Russian. I thought they don't speak English in Russia.

KUBIANTO

Remember to please come on time for classes.

We start come on time so be can on time. Yeah! Thank you.

EXT. Street in front of teacher's house.

On a small street in the middle of Surabaya there stands a one story postcolonial.

Mark walks in and finds his bed has been made. On the bed are two regular pillows and two long bolsters. The bed is a double. There is a wardrobe and nothing else.

MARK

Hello

JOSE

Hello. Where are you in from?

MARK

Russ .. Portland

Jose turns and leaves. He's not a talkative guy.

INT. Teacher's room

A small cluttered room, noisy air conditioner rattles. Several teachers are sitting at a table preparing for lessons. Hard at work and seriously confused, Mark is planning his lessons as he sweats profusely all over his lesson plans.                                             &nb sp; 

NATE

How's it going?

MARK

If could I sweat a little more, I wouldn't have to shower.

NATE

This place is quite famous for being infamous.

MARK

I don't understand.

NATE

How'd they rope you in? This place is a shit hole.

MARK

You're here?

NATE

Tight quarters and sweat. That's my fantasy.

Sweat like hell and get paid shit. Minimum wage and heat blisters. Man, that is living.

MARK

How come I never see Jose here?

NATE

He teaches business classes and in the public schools. He doesn’t mix with us.

ANDREW

and he’s almost finished with Meridian. Lucky bastard.

Joanne walks in. She's a well-built, stylishly dressed young woman. She's an American. She's also a seriously caffinated bitch.

Joanne is frantically looking for a stapler.  

JOANNE

Jose, Jose, Jose. You’d think he was a rock star the ways you talk about him. Old degenerate.

NATE

Degenerate? No that’s us. Jose is

JOANNE

Probably gay

NATE

What the fuck are you on about? Do you actually need something?

JOANNE

Where the fuck is it? Where is it? Fuck! I can't fucking believe the shit that happens here.

She reaches right over Mark and starts rifling through his stuff.

MARK

Excuse me

JOANNE

(She's almost screeching)

You cannot find anything in this country. Everything is just so fucked

Mark, seeing the stapler under some books on the table three seats down, reaches over and grabs it.

JOANNE

Shit. (She grabs it viciously from his hand)

Are you new?

MARK

Yeah. Hi. I'm Mark

JOANNE

Keep your hands off other people's stuff

MARK

You're welcome

NATE

It's not your stapler Joanne. It's a school supply.

JOANNE

Same diff. Fucking newbies.

INT. Teacher's room

Later (Mark in a different shirt. He's preparing his lessons. A slightly pudgy girl in her early 20's comes in

PIKA

Good morning. Oh, you must be tile new bloke who just came from Russia.

MARK

No, America.

PIKA

Oh Steff scores again. You aren't from Russia?

I was hoping to score some decent vodka. You sure?

MARK

Da.

PIKA

Apa?

Mark smiles

Pika exits quickly. We can hear the sounds of her vomiting.

INT. Hotel bar NIGHT We see Mark chatting up a young Javanese waitress.

EXT. OUTSIDE HOTEL NIGHT Mark has picked up the woman from the hotel bar. It isn't a difficult task in Surabaya. Mark and woman enter a taxi

INT. JOSE"S HOUSE NIGHT

Mark and woman enter front door and make their way to his room. We don't see anything. It not romantic. It's drunk, desperate and noisy sex.

He takes her home. They make a bit of noise.

INT. Jose's House Morning Mark is dressed and shaved, but looks bagged. Jose is in boxers, a tank top and his hair is messed. He has a three-day growth of beard.

JOSE

Hey, what's wrong with you? You look like hell.

MARK

That's good, because I feel like hell, and I didn't sleep very well.

Where's the aspirin? I woke up with a splitting headache.

JOSE

That's not the only thing you woke up with. You and your temporary girlfriend came in at four o’clock. You were both drunk.

MARK

Don't you sleep?

JOSE

I usually sleep until my roommate and his guest wake me up.

I'm worried about you. You don't eat right, and you look tired. If I were you, I'd slow down.

MARK

Thanks for the advice.

JOSE

I think you should have an early night tonight.

MARK

Two things for you to consider; One - If you were me, you'd have a life. Two - you should mind your own business. Hey, where's the coffee?

JOSE

I don't know.  I'm just over here minding my own business. Why don't you ask that bit of stuff you came home with last night? Hooker? Bargirl? Waitress? You're quick.

MARK

You should see yourself in the morning?

No wonder you sleep alone.

JOSE

You can't sleep alone. I think you should see a psychiatrist.

MARK

I don't need a shrink, but I have an insane roommate who needs one.

What's the matter with you? Are you human?

Jose gives him a look and then ignores him.

INT. OFFICE Later that morning (So Mark should be wearing the same shirt and tie)

BART

He said what?

PIKA

None of his fucking business, Is it then?

MARK

What's up?

NATE

They're debating your situation.

MARK

Huh?

NATE

Oh. They agree with you.

MARK

They Jesus. I really messed up.

NATE

You wouldn't be the first mate.

MARK

Nate, I uhh

NATE

No problem. We already moved your stuff.

MARK

Uh. Thanks. I think.

EXT. Midday. Mark is sweating profusely from the heat and humidity. He makes his way up the broken walkway and knocks on the door.

Andrew burning his last brain cell with a bong hit answers the door. He's in shorts and a Rangers soccer sweat.

ANDREW

Hello there, are you from the Dutch Consulate?

MARK

No

ANDREW

You're not from the Dutch Consulate. You're here to sell us the seeds?

MARK

Seeds?

Andrew looks around the corner

ANDREW

Yeah the magic seeds, Jack and the Bean Stock type of seeds. Ones that grow very tall, very sticky, and very smelly.

MARK

No, I'm Mark. Remember? We already met at the school.

(A more lucid teacher mercifully appears. He's in T-shirts and shorts.)

CHRIS

Come in. Sorry about the psychedelic inquisition.

We are waiting for some seeds.

             INT. Inside the Teacher's house

MARK

No, problem

ANDREW

You can take the room at the top of the stairs to the right.

I am going to pass out now.

This is said in a barely coherent mumble

Andrew suddenly flails on top of the couch, and begins to sleep. Mark looks around at the dirty laundry, broken chairs, open refrigerator, and happy cockroaches are eating an open jar of peanut butter on the table. There is a sudden blare of music.

Mark climbs the winding staircase. By the time Mark reaches the last door top, the music is blaring. It opens. A billow of smoke and a wall of sound assaults Mark. British rock (The Clash) is heard. A figure appears. Nate is wearing nothing but boxers emblazoned with the British flag and holding a bong.

NATE

Hey.

MARK

Hello. Is Andrew okay?

NATE

No.

MARK

Wow.

NATE

Sorry about the perspiration. I'm trying to smoke out a cold.

VOICE OF FEMALE

Kemari baby

NATE

Tunggu!

Are you sick?

NATE

Yeah, a bit of a late night last night. Have you found your room, yet?

MARK

Well Andrew said I could take the one on the right.

NATE

That's actually Alex's room. He's not here. He's in Bali on vacation.  He's between contracts. Take this one. There is a blanket and pillow in the closet, I believe.

MARK

Thanks

NATE

No worries. Need anything - just knock.

INT. MARK'S ROOM. SURABAYA

Mark sitting in his new home alone. He is wearing shorts and a Portland University T-shirt. A picture of Portland hangs on the wall. Mark begins to type on his laptop. Mark is talking out loud while he writes e-mail.

MARK

Well, I'm here. I've been here for a week now. I'm teaching. I was living in a low-budget hotel, but now I'm in a neo-colonial house with a beautiful view of the river.

Mark stands up looks out he window and notices the city canal sewer is not moving due to the density of the muck. He hits the backspace on the keyboard

MARK

Well. It's a view of something.

INT. School In Class

MARK

Okay, Good morning class.

The students are totally passive and subdued.

MARK

Well, I thought today we could start out with a song. Do you guys like music?

STUDENTS

(A few say yes, a couple of students say no and the rest are quiet)

MARK

That's a real vote of confidence. Do you like the Back Street Boys?

He passes out some pages

MARK

You have some of the lyrics to you. Listen while I play the song, I will play a little and then stop.

20.

INT. ANOTHER CLASSROOM

Chandrika, a beautiful Indian woman is lecturing her class of sleeping students. As they hear the music from the next room, they start to wake up.

Music lyrics  I don't care who you are, where you're from

The students start to become active. They start to sway back and forth in their chairs. All of the sudden the door opens. Chandrika comes in yelling in a slight Indo/Brit. accent.

CHANDRIKA

Do you mind? The noise is affecting my class.

INT. CHANDRIKA 'S CLASS

Students are dancing on the tables and on their chairs.

INT. CLASSROOM DAY

Mark turns off the song.

CHANDRIKA

The music is odious Are you listening?

MARK

Odious?

CHANDRIKA

Obnoxious

MARK

What do you want?

CHANDRIKA

They cannot concentrate.

CHANDRIKA

This is an English school. It is not a disco. We teach English so they learn English well. We are teachers, not DJs. (She does go on)

CHANDRIKA

Next time, please select something else to do for your lesson.

INT. Reception Area

Bart, Steff, and Ana, and a few other teachers are standing outside the teacher's room trying to decide what to do for lunch. None of them have any money. Regards teachers' dress: Males will generally wear slacks and dress shirt - long and short sleeve - with tie.

Woman will wear everything from spaghetti string batik slips, jeans and sheer blouses, to casual business dress.

MARK

Where can I get lunch?

ANA

Hey Mark is buying lunch

MARK

I am?

STEFF

Sounds good. I'm starving.

BART

Wonderful, Steff have you been making pot again before classes?

STEFF

Well, it's not exactly pot. It's a cross between a local grass stock and hashish with a little cannabis thrown in for flavor.

BART

Good shit?

STEFF

The best!

ANA

If you two are done conversing on the finer points of cross-pollination, we have a problem. I'm out of money

STEFF

Me too, Ana

BART

Don't look at me. I've got no love to spare two days before payday. I'm as broke as this country is.

BART

Anybody have any ideas?

STEFF

Yes, we do actually. I believe his name is Mike, or Marcus, or Mac.

MARK

It's Mark

STEFF

Yes, Mac. He looks (She sizes him up) He looks harmless generous.

NOTE: From now on Steff will call him Mac.

BART

Settled then.

INT. Teachers room A little later

Bart walks in. Mark is still working on lesson plans.

BART

You the new guy. I'm Bart.

MARK

We met

BART

Yeah. We did. That's okay with you, Mac?

His tone is more confrontation than conversation.

MARK

Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Mark.

BART

Are you ready for lunch?

MARK

As a matter of fact, no. I guess I must still be on Portland time.

BART

What's wrong. Hangover?

MARK

No. It's just that my stomach has been a little upset since I arrived.

BART

Don't worry. You'll get over that. Everyone gets it. Diarrhea, anyone?

Well, I had it too. I just keep getting it now.

I have got the perfect food for you. Come on. Let's go.

EXT.. A roadside cafe ... A warung. Mark, Bart, Steff, and Ana are sitting waiting to order lunch.

BART

Steff. Call a waiter, would you?

Steff is now totally stoned.

STEFF

Which one,

BART

There is only one.

STEFF

Ana, would you...? You have 20/20 vision now.

ANA

Oh God. All right.

Steff disgusts her and she makes no effort to hide it.

BART

Mark, do you like Indonesian food?

MARK

It's okay. Just a little spicy.

STEFF.

I know, gives me the shits something awful.

BART

Glad to know that Steff.

WAITER

How I help you?

BART

One beer, please, and a club sandwich,

ANA

I'll have the same.

STEFF

Three beers, two clubhouse sandwiches, one chicken steak, one regular steak, French fries, and one steamed rice.

MARK

I'll have an orange juice and a club sandwich as well.

ANA

So how do you fancy Surabaya, Mark?

MARK

It's okay. Just a bit boring. Where does everybody go?

ANA

Colors. We're going there tomorrow night. It's kind of the teacher's hangout.

INT. Warung LATER

The food has been eaten. The table around Bart and Steff is a mess.

BART

I've going to go. Thanks for lunch.

MARK

Uh? What? Oh, yeah, sure, you guys are welcome.

ANA

See you back at the school. Don't forget about Colors tomorrow night.

MARK

Sounds good. I can't wait to buy everyone beers as well.

STEFF

You are a generous guy, Mac.

MARK

I sure am

Steff lets out a gigantic belch

COLORS Pub United in Harmony

Colors is a dark, and somewhat seedy hole in the wall. Smoke fills the air

Skinny native bartenders with ponytails pour drinks for older Javanese and Chinese businessmen Ben and their predominantly young, casually dressed dates, while the expatriate community surrounds the remaining portion of the bar. In the back of the bar, a stage is set up. Andrew, Nate and Mark are off in the corner playing billiards on a small but decent enough table.

MARK

This place is very interesting.

ANDREW

Don't be so fucking polite, it's a shit hole with a fucking bad pool table.

NATE

You're just mad because you're losing.

ANDREW

Am not, just horny. I'm also not pissed yet. I need a piss. Get 'nother beer.

MARK

Sure.

NATE

What about me?

ANDREW

Fuck you, I bought last time. Waiter! Damn it man, Waiter!

Eko is tall and looks like he could probably handle himself. He's not slightly built, as are most of his coworkers. His arms and neck are covered with tattoos

EKO

What can I do for you Andrew?

ANDREW

My American mate and I, and this sod from London, need some beer.

EKO

No problem

ANDREW

By the way, Eko.

How many tattoos do you have now?

EKO

Twenty-one. I have them everywhere except my penis.

ANDREW

We don' t say penis EKO. It's too formal. Say dick. More international.

EKO

Thank you Mr. Andrew, my English so bad.

MARK

Jeez. He speaks better than the level tens.

NATE

Yeah, He's not afraid to make mistakes.

ANDREW

Where were we?

In walks a beautiful Javanese woman.

ANDREW

Would you fucking look at her? She is a full-blown, real live wet dream.

MARK

She is gorgeous.

ANDREW

I think I'll put me moves on boys.

NATE

You’re going to put your moves on who?

ANDREW

Her, of course.

NATE

I hope you explain yourself more clearly with her. Remember what happened last time?

You got some really bad green puss coming out of your Popeye.

ANDREW

Now I know better. I don't jump without me parachute.

NATE

Go get 'em Tiger.

I would, but I'm a little short on cash.

MARK

Are you telling me that girl is a prostitute?

NATE

Prostitute's kind of harsh.

We prefer to say woman of easy virtue.

She's lost her way.

Me mate's job is to help her find her way.

Ana sitting at the bar sees Mark. She smiles and waves.

NATE

I reckon she needs a shag.

MARK

What?

NATE

Yeah, you see, she doesn't trust any of us, for fear we may have caught something incurable by now. So she figures, you're a safe bet, having just got here.

Three sultry looking women walk in. These are the princesses of the night. In this realm of insincere lust, they rule. Nate stares.

NATE

Take it easy Mate. Don't do anything I wouldn't do with Ana.

I don't mean to criticize, but the dear lass bites a little hard.

Keep stiff upper lip. Keep stiff. Got me some tarts to take out of the oven.

Ana walks over.

ANA

Hey. Nate and Andrew are on the prowl.

MARK

Hey ya. Huh yeah. Is that a surprise?

ANA

Ha

MARK

Thanks

ANA

Surabaya is rather boring, but it's quaint.

MARK

How long have you been here?

ANA

Three years.

MARK

That long?

ANA

Three's not long really. I'm a short timer compared to everyone else. Nate's been here 5 years. Bart and Steff came together. They've been here six, almost six years. They were a couple. Bart's an asshole, and Steff's a stoner.

MARK

Will you go back to teach?

ANA

God no? Isn’t anything back there except unemployment, the dole, and taxes. I graduated from fucking Cambridge, and I still couldn't get a job. You?

MARK

Yeah. Almost the same in the States. I went from the bank, to design work, to telemarketing. You haven't lived until you've worked for Dial-a- Moyel.

ANA

Sorry about stiffing you for lunch the other day.

MARK

Oh no, I wanted to buy you guys lunch.

NATE

You fucks. Ya jinked out on ol' Mark here. Don't let it get you down. It's kind of a tradition to do it to the new people.

ANA

Let me make it up to you. We got paid today. Let me buy you a beer.

MARK

Okay, sure.

What happened?

NATE

Out of my range.

Ana walks up the bar to give a waiter her order. She comes back and hands Mark a couple of draft beers

ANA

Hey ya.

MARK

Thanks

A Javanese man in a tattered denim jacket and jeans comes in Ana spots him, gets up.

ANA

You'll excuse me.

Aria walks over to the man walks back

ANA

H e y  there. Have you ever tried ecstasy?

Andrew comes up from behind and grabs Mark by the shoulders

ANDREW

It'll surprise ya.. Here, take this.

MARK

What is it?

ANA

Relax. It'll help you relax.

MARK

I'm relaxed.

ANA

Come on. Don't be such a pussy.

ANDREW

Come on, Maverick.

MARK

Iceman. I think this is a bad idea.

ANA

Oh god. Top Gits.

INT. Bathroom COLORS Night

Mark is staring at the mirror, and he splashes water on his face

Walking out of the restroom, Mark sees Ana kissing another guy in a booth.

We don't know if he took the pill or not.

MARK

(He comes out of the bathroom. He's pale and shaking)

Coke, please.

BARTENDER

I'm sorry. We don't sell drugs.

MARK

Coca cola

BARTENDER

Oh Coca Cola.

Mark immediately drinks the coke. He's still shaking. Mark looks around in a desperate attempt to find Nate or Andrew. Mark turns towards the bartender.

MARK

Have you seen my friends?

BARTENDER

Yeah.. They go shag, man. With horny honey

MARK

Satu? (he holds up one finger) Satu horny honey?

BARTENDER

Dua Horny honey. Honey honey.

INT. COLORS Later that night. Thankfully, it is dark. A group of expatriates are sitting at the long bar. Mark and the older teacher, Jose, are sitting at a small table.

JOSE

Mark, if you apologize for being an asshole one more time, I'll nail your dick to the bar and set you on fire.

MARK

Okay. Teach me Indonesian.

JOSE

Everything sounds like it looks - more or less. Except C is a ch sound.

The first few letters of a word are the first sound.

MARK

You mean syllable.

JOSE

Shut up, English teacher.

You want to listen, or you want to be an asshole? Surabaya's got plenty already - local and imported. Do everyone a favor. Don't increase the population.

Remember - in the here and now -YOU DON'T KNOW JACK!

MARK

Sorry.

JOSE

Eko! Get me a hammer and a small nail. A very small nail.

EXT. Outside COLORS PUB Much later

Mark is outside the pub and hails a becak. Mark on his way home starts to dream. Mark is seemingly awakened to the sound of Dusty Springfield singing Son of a Preacher Man. Older women carrying dinner trays on their heads. Becak drivers, children, and transvestites sing backup vocals, while lead vocals are sung by a Gandhiesque holy man. By the end of the song Mark wakes up in front of his house.

INT. Teacher's House Mark's room. SURABAYA

Mark is sitting at his computer typing an e- mail.

I had an interesting evening at place called Colors. It's populated by a crowd that have apparently learned English and social skills from watching Jerry Springer and the Young Gun's once too often. I am recovering from what appears to have been my mistake of consuming too much beer. Although, I don't think beer is supposed to have a psychedelic effect.

Knock at he door. Nate is standing there. He's drunk.

NATE

Fancy a fuck?

MARK

Apa?

NATE

Do you want to shag or not?

MARK

Huh?

NATE

What du ...?

Nate clues in to Mark's misapprehension.

NATE

Oh I do fancy you dear boy, but I think you might enjoy one of these tasty bits more.

The door opens wide to reveal two scantily-clad young women.

NATE

Just thought you might want one of these tarts.

MARK

I'll pass for now. Thanks anyway.

NATE

All right then. See you tomorrow.

Ladies, Shagging time is here.

MARK

Goodnight.

INT. CLASSROOM DAY

Mark is teaching his students the difference between past simple tense and present  continuous tense.

Mark

Good Afternoon

Students

Good Afternoon, sir.

Mark

My name is Mark Bauer

He speaks in a monotone, until he catches himself and relaxes a little Do you have any questions?

Sorry, I'm talking like a machine.

What's your name? He asks a young girl

Yuanita

My name is Yuanita

MARK

What's your name?

Budiman

My name is Budiman

MARK

Like Batman?

Everyone laughs except for Budiman, who doesn't even smile

MARK

Sorry buddy

Budiman

Budi!

MARK

Right, Budiman

Do a real quick scene. It should be a flurry of images and people answering questions

Mark

Whew! Okay, now let's talk about the five senses

Who knows what the five senses are?

ASTRA

I do They are

Her response is barely audible

MARK

Yes, Astra ... Again please, we can't hear you

Budiman

Speak up, you stupid girl

Mark

Budiman, why don't you lighten up.

Budiman

She's stupid

Mark

Budi, a little less caffeine ... okay.

Please Astra

Astra doesn't say a word

Okay, anyone Yes Novi

Novi

She's pretty young girl wearing too much Hello Kitty for comfort

Sensible?

MARK

Uh - real close. No Anyone else

... Silence ...

MARK

Okay, hearing, seeing, touching, tasting, smelling and seeing

Tell me about rain. What do you experience when it rains?

Zainul raises his hand

ZAINUL

Basa

Mark

Okay Zainul, you're wet and then ...

Fade out

EXT. OSCAR'S OFFICE DAY

Mark meets with Oscar.

OSCAR

Mark, I hear you are doing  a fine job.

Mark, I need you  to go with the driver. He'll take you, Andrew and Nate to Saint. Rodus Academy. We are doing a promotion there this afternoon.

MARK

Promotion?

OSCAR

You just have to say a few words. It's very  routine. We don't really want you to talk too much, anyway. You might confuse them with your - ahuuum -accent. I'm kidding.

I'll see you later.

EXT. Establishing shot of school ST. Rohani KUDOS Academy

INT. ST. Rohani KUDOS Academy.Catholic elementary school. Mark and Nate get out of the van.

SISTER MARY

Welcome to Saint Rohani kodus, home of virtuous higher learning. I'm Sister Mary.

NATE

Hello, Sister Mary, I'm Nate and this is Mark. We are still waiting for our friend.

SISTER Mary

Oh really. Well, we can start anyway. Now you boys wanted to give a presentation to the classes.

NATE

We're here from Meridian.

NATE

We just wanted to tell the children about the benefits of learning English from those who speak English.

SISTER MARY

Do you speak Indonesian?

NATE

Yes, Mam.

SISTER MARY

Well, I don't see any problem with you going ahead of your friend, so we can finish early.

Andrew comes strolling in through the front doors of the school.

ANDREW

Hey mates. Well hello, Sister.

He's entirely too hyper. He's too big for the room as usual.

NATE

Sister Mary. This is Andrew Montgomery. He is actually head of marketing at Meridian here in Surabaya.

ANDREW

Had me a sister once. Then they wouldn't let her back in the convent. That was the end of her liturgical career. I had to put that Habit behind me.

SISTER MARY

Please follow me gentlemen, we don't have all day. Are all the teachers like you, Mr. Andrew?

ANDREW

Yes, sort of.

SISTER MARY

Do they all go to the pub before class?

ANDREW

Well not all, some go afterwards, you know how it is you've gotta unwind after a long day with the little shits.

SISTER MARY

Well, let's get started.

INT. Classroom of the CATHOLIC SCHOOL .

ANDREW

Good    morning. Selemat Pagi. Apa Kabar? (Hello, how are you? in Indonesian)

How many of you little tykes can speak English?

KID 1

You're fat.

KID 2

You stink.

KID 3

Did you fart?

ANDREW

Your cute little pukes. If any you little buggers wants to learn English, come on down to our school. Terima kasih. Meridian Rocks.

The kids yell and laugh.

INT. Colors Pub

At the bar Andrew and Mark watch a football game.

Andrew

Look at that shit. What the hell. Is that English cunt fawking blind?

NATE

Here now, Git. That was out of bounds.

ANDREW

Out of fawking bounds. Fawk that! Fawk that blue. That refs just fawking blind.

NATE

Like the Scots could do any better.

ANDREW

I tell you if they were playing

in Scotland it would be a fawking fair game.

.NATE

Screw that. That piss poor tosser couldn't find his ass if the English ref

drew him a bloody map.

ANDREW

Piss poor. I'll tell you who's piss-poor. Hugh fucking Grant couldn't find his ass even if it was nailed on, and glued to, plodding fucking Hill.

Mark is very drunk

MARK

Will you two just shut up. You make no sense. You're drunk.

Mark falls off the his stool onto the floor and throws up

ANDREW

Yeah, but at least we can hold liquor. You know how to hold your licker?

NATE

Usually by the ears. Your Mom's got nice ears.

MARK

Not my mom. Not mom

ANDREW

Steady on Nate. Leave his mom out of it.

INT.  HOUSE SURABAYA EARLY MORNING

Mark walks out of his room scratching.

MARK

Damn mosquitoes. That's right, you little vampires. Keep sucking.

Take my last drop of blood.

Mark is on his way to the bathroom stops and notices someone standing in the hall with Atiek (the servant).It’s Alex, the missing roommate, returning from Bali. He notices Mark. He walks over to introduce himself.

ALEX

Hey new guy. I'm Alex. I hear you almost took my room. Hey relax. You're very new, aren't you?

MARK

Yeah I got in a few weeks ago.

How was Bali?

ALEX

Wonderful. Actually, I never wanted to leave. Well, it was good meeting you Mark, I'm going to go to bed now. (He's looking right at Atiek)

INT. ADMIN OFFICE DAY

Mark comes into the office looking hung-over. He is sitting at the desk typing on his laptop.

MARK

Oh hello Yuliana.

YULIANA

Mr. Kubianto wants to see you right away

KUBIANTO

Hello Mark

MARK

Good morning, Mr. Kubianto

KUBIANTO

You smell so good, what cologne are you wearing.

MARK

I don't wear co1ogne. Mr. Kubianto

KUBIANTO

Must be your manly sweat. Mark I need your he1p. Can you do a thing for me?

MARK

Mr. Kubianto, before we go on, I think I should let you know. You see, I am not a

KUBIANTO

Not what I was thinking, but maybe I need you to teach my niece and nephew.

MARK

Alright.

KUBIANTO

I will pay you extra and pick you up and take you home, or if you want you can come to my home for private lesson.

MARK

I don't really have time.

KUBIANTO

You sly American fox.

EXT. Palatial Home DAY

Mark and the Boss arrive in the Boss' BMW. A uniformed guard opens the gate

The guard's baseball cap is labeled PAM

Mark

Hiya, Pamela - I thought you were blonde

SATPAM

Apa?

KUBIANTO

Welcome to my home

MARK

Wow - It's very nice (very low) where's Tattoo?

The home is large white neocolonial behind a gate that'd make Scarface jealous

Stone patio sits just beyond overdone garden. The stone patio is dominated by wide-backed rattan chairs, which are in turn complemented by a rattan loveseat and low glass-topped table. A young maid rushes out to take the boss' briefcase and a shopping bag of baked goods.

They enter the house. The kids don't rise from the PlayStation

The furnishings are dark, heavy wood. The sofa set is a rich purple sectional

There should be some Javanese carving and hand- painted scrolls on the wall

KUBIANTO

Ayo, ayo. Ini Pak Mark

REBECCA

Ini bule, Paman. He,he,he,he

KUBIANTO

This is Mr. Mark

MARK

Hi kids

KUBIANTO

Tell him your names (of course they don't) This is Rebecca and this is Jonathan

Rebecca

Ahhhhhhhhhhh he,he,he,he

The screech and the high-pitched giggling almost send Mark for the door Soon the kids are racing around Mark and their father

INT. Kubianto's Car Day Mark and Kubianto are driving back to the office

KUBIANTO

I want you to teach them

MARK

Them? Teach them?

KUBIANTO

We'll reschedule your classes

MARK

Ah well, I ...

KUBIANTO

Okay. Tuesday and Saturday.

MARK

I don't teach on Saturday ...

KUBIANTO

For me (the soul of sincerity) Okay

MARK

Uhhh, yeah Okay boss Yeah I guess

KUBIANTO

How long in Surabaya?

MARK

A couple of months

KUBIANTO

I don't like this city. Do you?

MARK

It's okay. It's a little dirty

KUBIANTO

Surabaya is hot and dirty. My home is clean and cold

MARK

Cold? In Indonesia?

KUBIANTO

I'm from Bandung

MARK

Oh.Why did you move here?

KUBIANTO

My wife is from here. Have you met her?

MARK

I don't think so. What does she do?

KUBIANTO

She is my wife. Mark is this a personal question?

MARK

Oh no, sir. I'm sorry

KUBIANTO

It's okay Mark. She works for her father. Even I once worked for her father

MARK

In a school?

KUBIANTO

No. Her father owns trees

MARK

Lumber

KUBIANTO

Apa?

MARK

Lumber. He's in the wood business, isn't he?

KUBIANTO

No. Apples

MARK

He has apple trees?

KUBIANTO

Yes. Terrible business.

MARK

Huh? Really?

KUBIANTO

Not my business

MARK

And this school is ?

KUBIANTO

Mine

KUBIANTO

Where do you want to be?

MARK

Here is good

KUBIANTO

What do you want to do?

MARK

I have some ideas for business classes

KUBIANTO

Difficult business

MARK

I think I know how to do it

KUBIANTO

Explain it to me

INT. At Colors Night

Jose, Mark, Nate and Andrew are at the pool table. Jose and Nate are playing.

NATE

Well look who it is here. How was it? Did you like teaching the monsters in purgatory?

ANDREW

Pussy

MARK

Hey, what choice did I have?

JOSE

Say no

MARK

Sounds so easy - You weren't there

ANDREW

No, and I wouldn't be

NATE

Only because people wouldn't let you near their kids

JOSE

Or their pets

Nate motions to the waiter to bring another round.

NATE

So, did you get lucky. Oh don't give me that innocent look. It's obvious he fancies you

MARK

Uhhhhhhggggg. We talked about an idea of mine

NATE

You discussed business with him

MARK

Yeah?

ANDREW

Bad idea

MARK

The hell.

NATE

Hell nothing. Rules, mate

MARK

What rules?

ANDREW

You don't give your phone number, your place of work or your real name

NATE

You don't say 'I love you' unless she's on the steps of a plane with a one way ticket

MARK

One way ticket Gotcha. And?

ANDREW

Never meet the family, and never, ever discuss business with the boss.

So, he liked your idea?

MARK

Yeah. I think he's going to let me run with it.

JOSE

I think you're playing with fire.

MARK

No. It's okay

ANDREW

I think he should run it up the flagpole

JOSE

Apa?

ANDREW

We seem to be in an idiom loop. I wanted my shot.

JOSE

Okay. How about 'up the creek',

'twisting in the wind',

'out on a limb'.

Teach English and leave this shit alone.

MARK

This is a solid plan

JOSE

This isn't about good or bad. They will screw you.

Either because you scare them, or because you rock the boat.

MARK

Rock the boat?

ANDREW

Houstan (it’s a very exaggerated American accent), we have an Idiom loop.

A group of scantily, and or tight –slacks and top, clad young women walk by.

MARK

Wow!

NATE

With sugar on top.

ANDREW

Nice bit of crumpet there

NATE

Very tasty, indeed.

Call them over

GIRL 1

Hello Mr. What's your name?

NATE

I'm Stan. That's Craig. Over there is

JOSE

Hannibal. I need to get some beans.

GIRL 2 (to Mark)

Who are you?

MARK

I'm Ma

ANDREW

He's Marty.

GIRL 2

I like Marty.

MARK
Oy

GIRL 3

I want scotch

ANDREW

No you don't. Mark, can you get some beer?

Mark gets up and walks to the bar.

Andrew moves in on Girl 2.

GIRL 2

You're not handsome

ANDREW

Sure I am, and I'm very rich

GIRL 3

True?

ANDREW

Maybe

Mark makes his way back with two pitchers.

NATE

You’re a good mate, Mr Mark

(fade)

INT. Another night at COLORS

NATE

By the way, tonight is Alex's last night. He's off tomorrow.

MARK

Where?

NATE

Taiwan.  Just as well

MARK

He'll be making a hell of 'a lot more than us. Maybe we should hop on the next plane.

NATE

Are you mad, this is heaven on earth. Where else can a bloke like myself get laid on a consistent basis. Hey (shouts) did you cunts forget there was a table here?

ANDREW

Well blokes, what say you?

NATE

Are you stoned?

ANDREW

I did happen to imbibe a little before tonight's festivities

NATE

Are you going to share, considering you nicked my last smoke

ANDREW

I have a bit of a surprise for you gentlemen.

NATE

Don't tell me. You found the secret of everlasting life and she's and outside waiting to be shagged.

ANDREW

No, not quite. Just follow me.

EXT. COLOR'S PARKING LOT

Night. An ugly, broken-down, dirty, green minivan squats like a sick bug.

MARK

What is it?

ANDREW

It is your stairway to heaven

NATE

It's a bemo.

ANDREW

This is the ticket to lust-filled nights

MARK

A whomo?

NATE

Bemo. A piece of shit road hazard.

ANDREW

It's ours for the night. We're going to the D.

NATE

All aboard.

EXT. - Night . The D. Dolly's, a famous, or infamous, red light district. A network of brothels, bars, massage parlors and food stalls - a large red beer sign marks each location. The beer is Bintang - served in large green quart bottles. Served at low tables that squat in front of large sectional sofas running the length of three walls. At the back is a narrow hallway. On the sofas are 10-20 young women, some play cards, some smoke, some talk together, some hug, some read Indonesian translations of Japanese comics in digest form, and some lay on the couches. Two or three women are sleeping.

In the doorway is one large man and two or three layabouts. The large guy is the host/bouncer.

"Hey what you want, Mr.? You want fuck, suck? "

"She's real good" The words may change from place to place, but the basic information is always the same.

The street is full with motorcycles, pedicabs, taxis and wandering would-be customers.

If it isn't a sea of humanity, it's at least a steady river.

Mark, Nate, Andrew, Bart and Chris arrive in the Bemo they've hired for the night.

EXT. NIGHT DOLLY'S

They jump off the Bemo. They're 'full of piss and vinegar.'

Mark looks around nervously, then takes out his camera. Naive is too kind a word to describe Mark at this stage.

ANDREW

First stop ... Dangdut!

Mark

What is Dangdut?

Nate

Music. My backward young friend.

Andrew

Imagine Indian music, Jazz, Celtic rhythms and a slight fever.

Nate

Close enough Mate.

INT. Dangdut bar

Andrew, Nate, Mark, Chris and Bart sit at a table. Mark is wide-eyed and

can't stop staring. Chris is stoned and staring would be too much of an effort.

Only men are dancing, ala a Greek Bazouki bar. There are 8 to 10 tables,

all full. Some young working girls are in the mix. None of them are too flashy. Older women, and men worn about the edges occupy many seats. The bar is seedy, all dark wood and a wood floor. Marlboro signs and neon bar signs compete with faded Guinness advertisements.

Sitting alone at a table Mark is wide-eyed and can't stop staring, but he's all smiles.

A woman comes over and starts to rub Bart's shoulders.

BART

This will be the highlight of her night. Boys. Don't wait up for me.

ANDREW

Yes, I'm sure it will be. Do give our best to the little Lady.

All is dark with very little light coming from faded bar signs, and scattered candles.

Bart returns. He is almost falls down the narrow stairs. He's white as a sheet.

BART

It's a guy, it's a fucking... She's a . It's a guy!

NATE

So, was it good.

ANDREW

Did you really make her night?

BART

Hey no way man I didn't touch her, uh him

NATE

Don't know mate, you were gone a long time.

ANDREW

A long time.

BART

No I wasn't.

MARK

Was it good for you?

BART

It wasn't that long, was it?

NATE

Could have been 40 minutes. Could have been an hour.

MARK

Could have been the whiskey?

MARK

Hey come on, you know that Irish Rover's song. "could have

been the whiskey, might have been the gin, could a been the three

or four sixpacks, but look a the shape I'm in.

The 'lady' comes down the stairs. Bart looks very guilty as 'she' waves at him. Everybody starts laughing, except Bart.

EXT. DOLLY STREET

They're still laughing as they fall out into the street.

Mark begins to take some pictures out of the din of voices there is a scream.

MARK

Hey, what is that.

Nate propositioning a young woman

NATE

Nothing. So where? Okay baby? Long or short?

GIRL

No want you. You too long.

ANDREW

Don't worry baby. He's very small.

NATE

Blow me.

ANDREW

I would dearly love to, but I choke on small bones.

There is another scream and Mark puts his camera away and heads toward the sound.

ANDREW

Hey, where the fuck are you going?

MARK

She needs help.

ANDREW

Leave it alone mate.

We don't do anything but work, drink and fuck here.

You Mess in their business and you're going to get fucked.

MARK

It's got to be stopped.

NATE

Wake up sunshine, this is not America.

MARK

The right thing to do is

ANDREW

Yeah. Okay Sparky. She's a whore, You're a Bule. You can fuck her, but don't get involved. We come here to cum. We drink, we fuck, we pay. We don't get involved. The military owns her.

NATE

The military runs the girls.

MARK

He's not running her. He's beating her.

NATE

Her Germo didn't pay someone..

MARK

Germo?

NATE

Pimp. Look, leave it out. Right then, enough shit let's party.

Mark heads in for the rescue.

NATE

Sir lance a fucking lot. Christ. I  hate bules.

Mark puts himself between a militrary type and the girl.

SOLDIER

Apa?

Mark doesn't say anything. He's between the soldier and the girl.

ANDREW

Hey, Buddy back off.

SOLDIER

Fuck you, Londo.

ANDREW

I was talking to my friend.

SOLDIER

Fuck him too.

MARK

Saya tidak Londo.

SOLDIER

Pergi Bule!

NATE

Hey buddy. Come on, buddy . Sorry officer. Our buddy is real drunk

Drunk. He's had too much to drink.

ANDREW

Dia mabuk. It's his birthday

SOLDIER

Happy Birthday. Fuck off.

Just then three more army types appear, as well as seven or eight locals.            

NATE

Oh. This This is a fucking bad thing

ANDREW

Let's get out of here.

MARK

Fuck off you bastards. Leave her alone.

NATE

Are you trying to get us killed?

MARK

No. We can't just leave her here.

ANDREW

Yes, we fucking well can

SOLDIER

Where are you from?

NATE

Belgium. I'm an engineer in Kalimantan. We all work in Balikpapan

SOLDIER

Who's your friend?

Bart walks by. He's still wearing the Meridian Polo shirt.

BART

Hey guys. What's up?

NATE

Oh, fuck you and the shirt you're wearing.

The soldier jabs a finger into Bart 's chest.

SOLDIER

You work here?

NATE

No man. I'm just a tourist.

BART

Sorry, mates. He's got you.

SOLDIER

No, I don't believe you.

NATE

Let's get the fuck out of here.

MARK

What?

ANDREW

Run. Shut up and run

Mark, Andrew, and Nate all leave.

INT. HOUSE Early morning

NATE

What the fuck did you think you were doing last night?

MARK

I wanted to help. I couldn't just stand there and watch that girl get beat up.

ANDREW

No, you were supposed to find a girl of your own and get it on.

NATE

I think what Andrew means is that girl and the army guy were none of our business.

MARK

So we are condoning violence.

ANDREW

No, were accepting the fact that that guy owns that girl.

MARK

What do you mean?

ANDREW

It's all about money and sex. The delights of which are probably lost on the girl, the germo and the soldier. But that isn't our concern. Thanks to you, we won't be able to enjoy Dolly for fear of being busted, beat up, shot and imprisoned. Well, look on the bright side. We won't be wasting anymore money in the D. And we've reduced our risk of catching anything.

MARK

We did the right thing.

ANDREW

You might think so Yank, but I am telling you to stay out things from now on.

INT. SCHOOL administration office

Mark comes into the school unshaven and bleary- eyed. Mark grabs his class folders and quickly heads for his class.

YULIANA

Someone wants to see you.

MARK

Who?

YULIANA

Someone you don't want to see.

Go somewhere, not home...

MARK

Why?

YULIANA

Just leave.

Oscar walks out of his office.

OSCAR

Mark? Can see you for a moment?

Look, whatever happens in here, relax. We'll take care of it.

Please sit down. Allow me to introduce a Lieutenant Malonto.

The same soldier, the one that Mark had exchanged words with the previous night, stands off to the side. Sitting is an army lieutenant. The lieutenant stays quiet.

OSCAR

It appears that you have a bit of explaining to do Mark.

MARK

What for?

OSCAR

Well for starters, you were causing a disturbance out in front of a seedy establishment that is very much off limits to teachers of this school.

MARK

You mean the Dangdut bar in Dolly.

OSCAR

I don't know. I have never been there. Moreover, you have also been accused of taking advantage of your servant girl and then getting her pregnant.

MARK

Oh, Ma No. I think you have me mistaken for someone else.

OSCAR

Mark, there is no percentage in denying it. You are a young man, far from home. You're in a foreign country. You're alone and lonely.

It is only natural for you to prey on the innocent locals.

MARK

Now come on, Oscar.

 I don't know anything about this and I am very sure I didn't sleep with our house maid.

OSCAR

That is not what she said.

MARK

So, this guy is here to arrest me.

OSCAR

No, he simply wanted to find out where you work so he could confiscate your passport.

MARK

My passport, you have got to be kidding me.

OSCAR

I really must be going.

MARK

Oscar. Oscar, what about ?

The army lieutenant grabs the passport.

LIEUTENANT

Mr. Bauer. I will contact you when we need you for further questioning

MARK

Oscar? Where were you?

OSCAR

If I'm there this will never get solved

MARK

What about the servant. Is she leaving?

OSCAR

No. Why?

MARK

She says I raped her.

OSCAR

Calm down, Mark. We trust you to be a gentleman about this

MARK

Trust me ?

What's going to happen?

OSCAR

I'm not sure. The Lt. and Mr. Kubianto will come to some sort of an equitable arrangement.

MARK

With me thrown to the wolves

OSCAR

Don't think like that. We're looking out for everyone's best interests. Thankfully, the girl came to us.

MARK

The girl?

OSCAR

Just try not to have any direct contact. Can you do that?

MARK

I think I'll manage

INT. Delta Plaza.

Mark walks into a hair salon. He's very distraught. A lovely Chinese girl greets him.

NINGSIH

Selemat Sore-Good Afternoon.

MARK

Salamat Sore

The energy is draining out of him

NINGSIH

How can I help you?

MARK

I want to cut my hair

Ningsih directs Mark to sit down. She washes his hair. He stares at her the entire time.

NINGSIH

You can wake up now.

MARK

I'm sorry. I must have fallen asleep.

NINGSIH

Did you enjoy it?

MARK

I did enjoy it. Thank you.

NINGSIH

Now you want cut short or cut long.

MARK

You can cut long?

NINGSIH

I am sorry my English is so bad.

I mean do you want me to leave it a little longer on top.

MARK

Your English is great.

NINGSIH

Thank you but I do not think so. I never get to practice.

MARK

Well I think your English and great and you give a wonderful neck massage thank you.

NINGSIH

Long or short?

MARK

Leave it a little long on top, please.

NINGSIH

Alright. Are you married?

MARK

Belum

NINGSIH

Good! Do you like?

Mark looking entranced at Ningsih.

NINGSIH

Do you like?

MARK

Yes I really like.

Ningsih begins to blush.

MARK

I was wondering if you would like to go out some time?

NINGSIH

Maybe, but I have never gone with a Bule.

INT. CLASSROOM

Mark enters the room. He finds the class is empty.

MARK
Where is everybody?

An Indonesian military person enters with rank of Colonel emblazoned on his shoulder. He looks stern and stoic. Mark looks at him apprehensively.

MARK

Hi. May I help you?

ABRITO

You are English teacher.

MARK

Maybe

ABRITO

What do you mean maybe? I am here to take English lesson.

MARK

You must be my private student.

ABRITO

I am Colonel Abrito of the Indonesian military force, Second division special forces.

MARK

Hello,    Pak Abrito. I'm Mark, Pak Abrito

ABRITO

You can call me just Abrito. May I call you Mark?

MARK

I guess you can call me anything you want.

ABRITO

Apa?

MARK

Yes, of course. Your English is very good.

ABRITO

No I don't speak well, I need practice.

MARK

Well, you definitely speak much better than most of my students.

Abrito is still stiff and acting very militarily.

ABRITO

Thank you. I need your help. I want to go for my promotional test to General, but if I cannot pass my test for English, I will not be General.

It becomes more apparent to Mark that the General needs help.

MARK

Do you know what kind of test they are going to give you?

ABRITO

They want me to be able to talk in good English.

MARK

Well, let us start with a conversation test. Say you are a general, and you are being asked questions by the foreign media.

ABRITO

Okay.

MARK

I'll be the reporter and you are the general. Now there is a terrorist group and they have taken some hostages.

Abrito

How did you know?

MARK

What?

ABRITO

Hostages.

MARK

We are just pretending.

ABRITO

Oh I get it.

MARK

Okay let's start.

Now remember. I am a foreign journalist.

How many hostages are there?

ABRITO

I am sorry I do not know.

MARK

You cannot say you do not know.

ABRITO

Why?   

MARK

They want to know.

Okay as a rule, only answer in three ways;

(Writing on the board)

Let's practice. One -The situation is under control.

Two - We are working on solving the problem.

And Three - We hope for a speedy resolution.

Always finish with - That is all I can comment on at this time. Thank you.

ABRITO

Is that all I have to say?

MARK

That is it.

ABRITO

Thank you so much. You are a great teacher.

MARK

You are very welcome.

Mark's First date with Ningsih

INT. Delta Plaza In front of ATMs near Mcdonalds

Mark waits for Ningsih

She appears.  She's wearing a pale purple suede jacket over a plain white blouse, and a matching skirt. She looks great.

MARK

Wow

NINGSIH

Wow? Is that good

MARK

Yes. It's ... you look great

NINGSIH

Thanks. You look ...

MARK

Bright

NINGSIH

Yes. You usually look ...

MARK

Boring? Bosan?

NINGSIH

No, conservative. Where are we going?

MARK

Movie?

NINGSIH

Which one?

MARK

I Don't know. What do you think?

NINGSIH

I don't know

MARK

What about dinner?

NINGSIH

Okay. Where?

MARK

I don't know

NINGSIH

Make a decision (Her tone needs to be playful here. This is not a challenge)

MARK

Okay fine. We'll see the new Seagal film. We'll eat first. Pizza Pasta? (She nods approval) Then we'll see the movie. One question?

NINGSIH

It's very close. We can walk.

EXT. Jalan Pemuda.  Street in front of Delta Plaza. They Walk up the street, turn right at the corner and cross quickly.

MARK

The cars don't stop?

NINGSIH

Only when they hit you. Sometimes they stop

MARK

You're joking

NINGSIH

I don't think so9perhaps a slight smile passes over her face)

They walk to the Mitra 21 Theater Complex

EXT. Outside Mitra 21.  After the movie

MARK

Did you like it?

NINGSIH

Yes. It was fun?

MARK

Did you listen or read?

NINGSIH

I read

MARK

You need practice

NINGSIH

Do you like ice cream?

MARK

Yeah. Where?

INT. Zangradi's Ice Cream Parlour A small store front across from Mitra 21 Theater

MARK

This is nice. What do you want?

NINGSIH

A Macedonian. And you?

MARK

I'll have a banana split (He says to the server) He gets a blank stare. Then he points at it

SERVER

Yah, yah

MARK

God, that's irritating

SERVER

Mau apa?

NINGSIH

Macedonian. Mace ...(she points at it)

MARK

Gee I thought it was my pronunciation

NINGSIH

No. They don't listen. Not like the west.

MARK

No. You can actually get served here

NINGSIH

So, are you married?

MARK

Not yet

NINGSIH

Why?

MARK

I never met the right woman. You?

NINGSIH

Not anymore

MARK

Why?

NINGSIH

He's gone. (She looks at Mark's serious expression) No, he left

MARK

Moron

NINGSIH (Smiles)

Do you think you could marry an Indonesian?

MARK

I don't think I could marry anyone

NINGSIH

Why?

MARK

I don't give much thought to skydiving

NINGSIH

Apa? Skydiving

MARK

Sure. I know people do it. I've seen pictures. I even know a few survivors. They actually seem to enjoy it. I just never considered it.

NINGSIH

And if you did?

MARK

An Indonesian woman?

NINGSIH

Or a Chinese. (It's not a question)

MARK

Is there really a difference?

NINGSIH

A little, maybe a lot

MARK

Such as?

NINGSIH

Indonesians feel they belong here.

Chinese have never felt that. Maybe we share that. (She looks at Mark)

EXT. Jalan Pemuda. Street near Delta Plaza Night.  Mark and Ningsih are walking back to the Mall after eating ice cream.

NINGSIH

Do you drive?

MARK

Never here. I've never driven here.

NINGSIH

We'll take my Panther

MARK

You have a car?

NINGSIH

My mother's. It's old

MARK

Do you drive?

NINGSIH

Not well

EXT. We see the Panther (It looks like a van, but is actually a pickup with a van body. It has almost no suspension) driving out of the parking lot. We see that Ningsih is a fairly aggressive driver.

INT. RECEPTION Day

Mark is looking tired and flushed.

MARK

Yuliana? Could you

Yuliana seems very fuzzy and seems to fall up and away from Mark.

YULIANA

Mark? Mark! Wake up!

NATE

Wake up, honey.

INT. HOUSE MARK'S BEDROOM

Mark sprawled out on the bed convulsing through a sudden illness. Mark wakes up from his deep sleep. Andrew and Nate are hovering over Mark.

NATE

Wake up. Sweety.

MARK

Oh, hey guys. What's going on?

NATE

It appears you caught a bit of the dengue fever.

MARK

What? Dengue fever. I feel like hell. Everything hurts.

ANDREW

Yeah. That shit hits you fast and hard.

It’s also called Demam Berdaerah, and breakbone fever.

MARK

Demam?

ANDREW

It means bloo ..

It don’t mean shit.

NATE

(smacking Andrew and whispering harshly)Are you a total moron?

The doctor says you'll have to rest for a week or so. You must have gotten bit by one too many mosquitoes.

ANDREW

Yeah' you are lucky to still be with us.

Nate glares at Andrew who finally gets it and shuts up for a few seconds

MARK

Well thanks for taking care of me.

ANDREW

It's least we can do. We still need you back in the saddle because on Thursday there's a country western party at Colors.

EXT.  HOUSE (Two weeks later)

Nate, Mark, and Andrew are looking at Nate's Car. The entire dashboard is gone.

          NATE

Those Motherfuckers. I just bought this car.

ANDREW

Drive Pak Shit head down to Pasar Turi where they sell all of the stolen stuff.

MARK

Pak Shithead?

ANDREW

The school driver. He’s a right wanker.

MARK

Apa?

ANDREW

Always asking for money

MARK

Agus?

ANDREW

Yeah, Agus the wanker.

NATE

Don’t give it to him

ANDREW

I feel sorr

NATE

Who’s the wanker then, the one who wanks or the wank that follows?

MARK

May the wank be with you.

LATER

NATE

and believe it or not, we found a dashboard that fucking looks exactly like mine with the same mileage on it and everything.

ANDREW

Yeah. Aren't you lucky?

INT. COLORS PUB

Western music blares. The long bar of Colors is barely recognizable under a denim, patchwork, American flag bedecked quilt that is draped the length of it. Plastic farm animals stare obscenely into the darkness. It's as if the set of Hee Haw threw up all over Colors. Mark, Nate and Andrew are dressed better than usual. Marlboro girls buzz around. The crowd watches in amazement. 'The Devil Went Down to Georgia" by The Charlie Daniel's Band is playing in the background.

Andrew is dancing on the bar. He puts the ugly in coyote. Perhaps coyotes were never this ugly.

NATE

Look at him go, such grace for a big man. So bad.

It's a shame.

I can't believe I get the car and then I have to pay most of my cash to repair it.

A few more weeks and I'd have been set.

I had almost enough saved to last a year without working.

MARK

A few more weeks and I might have been deported

NATE

Oh you mean after that run in with the police in Dolly.

MARK

Well that, and the fact that I'm being blamed for getting Atiek Pregnant

NATE

You're getting royally blued and screwed.

MARK

Yeah. I guess that's why Alex left. He told her he would come back for her, but that's a laugh. They needed someone to take responsibility for her so they don't get sucked into paying

NATE

I didn't think they would blame you, but come to think about it, you are new.

I would have blamed you too.

MARK

Those fucking bastards.

NATE

Listen mate. Don't get mad - get even.

MARK

How?

Nate shrugs.

Bonnie Tyler's 'I need a hero' is playing in the background Andrew totally drunk gets up on the bar and starts to strip. The crowd goes wild.

NATE

You gotta love him.

Total freedom and a total disregard for conventional morals.

Andrew moons the crowd. Flashbulbs cut the smoky darkness. We see the source of Mark's slide.

INT. Excelso's Evening

Most of the tables are filled

Mark and Jose are eating sandwiches and drinking beer

JOSE

Be back in a minute

MARK

Okay. Wash your hands

JOSE

I'll try to remember

Mark sits and picks at his French fries. A very attractive Chinese woman stands in front of him. She is thirty or so and dressed in a business jacket and skirt. Her hair is long and she is stunning.

FELLY

Can I sit here?

MARK

Uh, Sure. Why?

FELLY

Are you alone?

MARK

Ah no. I'm waiting for a friend

FELLY

A girlfriend?

MARK

Ah no. Too hairy for that

JOSE

Who's too hairy?

MARK

That would be you

JOSE

Hello, Felly. Is he being polite?

FELLY

He's very charming

JOSE

Mark, this is Bu Felly. Felly, ini Pak Mark

FELLY

Pleased to meet you

MARK

Very pleased to meet you

JOSE

Leave it alone, Mark. Bu Felly's married

MARK

Leave what alone

FELLY

Don't worry about it. When does your contract end?

MARK

I've been here for five months.

FELLY

Jose has said good things about you

MARK

Really?

JOSE

I may have exaggerated

FELLY

Call me.

She hands Mark her card. There's no formality. He's a teacher, not a business contact

Jose, I have to go.

MARK

Wow. A job offer.

JOSE

She owns a school. Actually, it's four or five small schools around Surabaya. All in Rukos, Rumah Tokos, shophouses.

MARK

She must be quite a businesswoman

JOSE

Sure she is. She's sharp. Negotiate a decent contract and you'll do okay.

Hati Hati. She's a snake

MARK

She seems nice

JOSE

All bosses seem nice when they're recruiting

(Fade out)

INT. SCHOOL TEACHER'S ROOM

Morning. Mark is in the teacher's room preparing lessons when Joanne walks in.

MARK

Good morning, Joanne. How are you?

She's not responding. Joanne grabs her books and heads right for the door.

JOANNE

How can you ask me that after what you did?

I know all about you.

MARK

I'm sorry?

JOANNE

I know that you raped that poor innocent girl. You son of a bitch.

MARK

Hey, that's not true. That wasn't me.

JOANNE

You're full of shit. That's what they all say.  I thought different about you Mark. You're just a poor excuse for a human being.

Joanne storms out of the room. In comes Andrew.

ANDREW

Who pissed in her rice this morning?

MARK

She just thinks I slept with our servant. Hell, she thinks I raped Atiek.

ANDREW

Well, if you did get in line. Well, not the raping.

She's good for a shag now and then.

MARK

What?

ANDREW

Well. When you are too drunk to go out and you need a friend. I mean that's why you hire them. It’s why you hire the good-looking ones, of course.

MARK

Andrew? Do you understand?

Come out of your fog. They think that I got her pregnant.

ANDREW

Who?

MARK

Oscar, Kubianto and a police Sgt. and an army lieutenant.

ANDREW

Oh shit. Did you?

MARK

I haven't even slept with her.

ANDREW

It couldn't be me. I'm not fertile enough and Nate isn't big enough. It has to be Alex.

MARK

That's what Nate figured.

ANDREW

Oh man, sorry. You are getting blued and screwed. Well, just look at it like this.

You can always marry her.

MARK

Hell, no!  I'm not getting married.

ANDREW

Pray for Alex's return. Or learn to pray face down. They've got you fingered as the man to get his willy reshaped. Are you ready to accept Islam as the true faith?

Andrew leaves. Mark just sits down totally stunned.

INT. Mark and Ningsih in a darkened alcove of a pub/restaurant

MARK

Ningsih. I need to tell you something
NINGSIH

Alright

MARK

I have a pretty big problem
NINGSIH

More big, or more pretty?

MARK

Okay. It's a massive, ugly problem. I've got problems with the police
NINGSIH

(Ningsih should register shock. Let us not go overboard here.)Why?

MARK

I was in Dolly with some friends ...
NINGSIH

Dolly? Why?

MARK

Why does anyone go to Dolly? We were exploring.
NINGSIH

Exploring? Climb a mountain next time.

MARK

Great idea. It's a little late. We started in a Dangdut bar. We went outside ... Ningsih, please look at me (She should be close to tears) We stopped a girl being beat up
NINGSIH

This isn't Canada

MARK

What?
NINGSIH

Leave things alone. You can't change it

MARK

Now you tell me
NINGSIH

This isn't funny. What did your boss say? He knows?

MARK

He knows. He thinks I'm a bad guy. The army is involved.
NINGSIH

The army?

MARK

A lieutenant Malosomethingorother and a Sgt. The Sgt. owns the girl.
NINGSIH

They want money (Not a question)

MARK

This is where it gets scary
NINGSIH

What?

MARK

They say I got a woman pregnant.
NINGSIH

You slept with her?

MARK

I never touched her. They say my servant is pregnant?
NINGSIH

You slept with your pembantu?

MARK

No. I didn't sleep with her either
NINGSIH

What did this Lt. say?

MARK

They're taking one million every month for her. If I pay Rp 5,000,000 at the end of my contract, and then marry the pembantu - everything is okay.

MARK

Hey I might even keep my job.
NINGSIH

Your job? What about your embassy/

MARK

What about them?
NINGSIH

Speak to them. Have you?

MARK

No.
NINGSIH

Mark. Please take me home.

EXT. Outside Ningsih's home

MARK
I'm sorry

NINGSIH

You don't understand how big this problem really is

MARK

Ningsih. I'll go and I won't call. If you want to speak to me, call me at home or at work.

If not ...

Goodnight, Ningsih.

(Mark gets into the taxi and leaves)

INT. School Admin Office Day

YULIANA

Mark. Ningsih called me

MARK

Is she okay?

YULIANA

She's worried about you

MARK

Me? I'm rocking.

YULIANA

She says you must be stronger

MARK

Stronger?

YULIANA

You let too many people control you

MARK

You mean push me?

YULIANA

That too. You have a choice

MARK

How?

YULIANA

Say no

MARK

That easy, huh? Why didn't I ... I'll be taking a walk now.

YULIANA

She wants you to call

MARK

Who?

YULIANA

Ningsih.

MARK

Oh Okay.

He comes around the counter and dials Ningsih's home/ Split screen is probably a good idea here

Hallo. Saya mau bicara dengan Ningsih?

PEMBANTU

Siapa?

MARK

Ini Pak Mark

PEMBANTU

Sebentar

NINGSIH

Hello

MARK

Hi Ningsih
NINGSIH

Hello Mark. Are you okay?

MARK

I'm ro .. Yeah, I'm fine. You?
NINGSIH

I'm worried about you

MARK

So I've heard
NINGSIH

Mark. I spoke to my mom. (Mark Winces) It's okay. She understands. Can we help you?

MARK

Gee, Ningsih. I'm not sure. These guys are tough.
NINGSIH

My brother has a friend.

MARK

How many people know?
NINGSIH

Mark. Almost everyone knows. I'm sure most of your students know.