Third Draft

March 22, 2004

UNTITLED

Written by Dan Thomas

Based on a concept by Dan Thomas,

Cam Pinches & Brendan Pinches

CAST

- CAM

(Main character, remains un-named)

- Cam’s GIRLFRIEND

- JIMMY

(Main Criminal)

- SMITH

(Dumb Criminal)

- RICKY

(Fighting Criminal)

- CUSTOMER

1. INT CAM’S HOUSE LATE NIGHT 1.

Movie opens with a shot of CAM in bed with his GIRLFRIEND. CAM is in the foreground. This is really late at night just after 12. CAM looks at the time and realizes he needs to get up and get ready. The camera shows a shot of CAM looking at the clock…

CAM

Shit!

We then a shot of the clock with CAM moving through the shot as CAM gets out of bed and walks out of shot.

2. INT 24-HOUR DINER LATE NIGHT 2.

We then cut to a shot of CAM and his GIRLFRIEND in a diner having a late meal before Cam has to go to work. The opening shot is as if the camera is on the table looking at a plate. A knife and fork come in to shot. We then see a shot of CAM’S mouth with the fork putting food in it. The next shot shows CAM and his GIRLFRIEND in full sitting in their booth. In the background of the shot over CAM’s shoulder, in the booth next to CAM and his GIRLFRIEND are a group of three men, also having a very late dinner. They are out of focus. CAM and his GIRLFRIEND are having a conversation where his GIRLFRIEND is doing most of the talking. CAM is just sitting there and copping it. He is in a bad mood.

GIRLFRIEND

(said nervously)

Umm, Cam…

CAM

Yeah?

GIRLFRIEND

Well, I got fired yesterday

CAM

(chokes on his beverage)

(said angrily)

What? Oh my God… Why?

GIRLFRIEND

I don’t know, they said I was always late a…

CAM is looking annoyed and angry.

CAM
Can’t you do anything right?

GIRLFRIEND

What? I don’t think they should have fired me…

CAM looks angry and has his hands over his face

GIRLFRIEND

(trying to change the topic, looking for salt)

Damn

GIRLFRIEND looks over at JIMMY, SMITH & RICKY in the booth behind them.

GIRLFRIEND

Excuse me, can we please borrow your salt

SMITH passes the salt over the booth to CAM who looks to his right when the crim’s hand is over his shoulder. He grabs the salt and slams it down on the table. CAM has one hand on his face and is really aggrevated with his Girlfriend for losing her job.

3. INT CAM’S GF’S CAR LATE NIGHT 3.

CAM and his GF are driving in Cam’s GF’s car. CAM is sitting in the passenger seat and his GIRLFRIEND is driving. CAM is staring out the window and he looks like he is in a bad mood. They look uncomfortable with each other. They pull up to the service station where CAM works. CAM starts to get out of the car.

GIRLFRIEND

I’ll be here at around 5, k?

CAM gets out and slams the door without saying anything to his GIRLFRIEND.

4. INT SERVICE STATION LATE NIGHT 4.

We now see a montage of shots of CAM doing boring jobs around the store. We see him mopping the floor, restocking items in the isles, and finally watching the clock count down on the microwave while it’s cooking some food that he put in. Once it hits zero we then cut to a shot of CAM standing behind the counter eating his sausage roll and flicking through a magazine. This is done to show how boring his job really is.

We then see three men enter the store. They are dressed in speculative clothing. They look like they are planning to rob the store. They each move to their respective positions. JIMMY moves towards the counter, SMITH moves into one of the aisles in the shop and RICKY hangs around the door. SMITH and RICKY look around the store making sure that no one else is in there. They then nod towards JIMMY. JIMMY then pulls out a gun and points it straight at CAM. JIMMY moves forward slightly.

JIMMY

You know how it goes, fill the bag…

JIMMY hands a bag over to CAM, CAM reluctantly opens the cash register and slowly puts money in the bag. CAM looks calm and annoyed that this is happening. While this is happening SMITH is filling his jacket with items from the aisle. He takes things like skittles, chocolate bars and chips. When he is filling up his jacket with these he is looking round as if he is nervous of being seen taking the items. He spots some salsa to go with his chips and as he gives a sigh meaning ‘why not’, he puts the salsa inside his jacket as well. As he turns around the salsa drops out of his jacket and smashes on the floor.

This makes JIMMY turn his head to look at him, the expression on his face is annoyance with SMITH. JIMMY still has the gun and his body facing CAM. Soon after JIMMY turns his head to look at SMITH, CAM quickly grabs a bottle of vodka on the counter. CAM then smashes it on the corner of the counter, this makes JIMMY look back towards CAM. CAM quickly stabs JIMMY in the chest with the broken bottle. CAM then also quickly grabs him by the arm and flips him over the counter. In the same motion CAM ducks down behind the counter and grabs the weapon from JIMMY. RICKY who was standing near the door looks at the counter in shock then runs off out of the door of the store.

The shot then shows JIMMY still alive and breathing. He is groaning and moaning. We then cut to a shot of CAM’s upper body and face.

5. INT 24-Hour DINER LATE NIGHT 5.

(Flashback) We then are taken to a shot showing JIMMY, RICKY and SMITH in a diner (the same diner that CAM and his GIRLFRIEND were shown in. THE CRIMS are talking about robbing a service station.

JIMMY

When we’re in there, I want you two to shut up and let me talk, ok?

RICKY

Yeah, k

SMITH

Sure…

RICKY

(said to JIMMY)

Just relax, it’ll be fine

JIMMY

I’ve been setting up this hit for weeks so I just don’t want either of you two to stuff it up ok?

We then hear the voice of GIRLFRIEND O/S

GIRLFRIEND

Excuse me, can we please borrow the salt

JIMMY

Yeah, sure

SMITH then passes the salt to the man (CAM) sitting with GIRLFRIEND. We only see either the back of CAM’s head or see CAM out of focus.

6. EXT SIDE OF ROAD LATE NIGHT 6.

We now cut back to RICKY running down the road away from the service station.

7. INT SERVICE STATION LATE NIGHT 7.

We cut back to inside the service station with a shot that is of facing CAM up against the counter. In the background he can see SMITH. He is moving around and is looking scared, breathing heavily, would have a racing heartbeat etc. We then see SMITH disappear, crouching behind an aisle. We then cut to a shot of SMITH crouched behind the aisle. He is calling out ‘JIMMY’

SMITH

Hey Jimmy, are you alright man?... Jimmy??

CAM then pulls the cash register down and it lands on JIMMY’S face. SMITH flinches at this and slowly raises his baseball bat. CAM tries to check how many bullets are in his gun. CAM discovers that the gun is empty/fake.

CAM

Shit!

CAM throws the gun down and sittingly crawls to the edge of the counter. We then cut back and forth between CAM and SMITH as they move closer to each other. SMITH is trying to creep up on CAM. When SMITH is almost up behind CAM he accidentally rests his arm against a chip packet. CAM hears this and starts to turn around. SMITH realizes that CAM has heard him to he jumps out and takes a wild swing at CAM with the baseball bat. CAM dodges the swing. SMITH then takes another swing at CAM’s body. CAM grabs the bat and pulls it towards him. As CAM does this he also kicks SMITH in the chest causing him to fly backwards and falls to the floor. We then see CAM drop the bat.

8. EXT SIDE OF ROAD LATE NIGHT 8.

We then cut to RICKY. He stops running, looks around and sees that Smith isn’t with him. He decides that he better go back and try and help Smith so he turns around and starts running back to the store.

9. INT SERVICE STATION V. EARLY MORNING 9.

We cut back to a shot of the drinks fridges inside the service station. We see SMITH’S head enter shot and slam into the fridge door. Attached to the back of SMITH’S head is CAM’s hand. CAM smashes SMITH’S head into the fridges a couple of times. We can see the reflection of RICKY entering the store. CAM gives SMITH a final smash into the fridge door before seeing RICKY’S reflection coming at him from behind. RICKY is holding a knife and tries to stab CAM. CAM grabs RICKY’S wrist and they tussle to the ground. RICKY tries to force the small knife into CAM. CAM fights against it but RICKY cuts him lightly once or twice. CAM becomes really pissed off, gets an adrenaline rush, and throws RICKY off of him. RICKY loses grip of the knife and it slides to an area near CAM. CAM chooses not to pick up the knife. CAM and RICKY are standing facing each other a couple of metres apart. They both understand each others situation and have a strange respect for each other yet they know that they must fight. CAM and RICKY move towards each other and start to fight.

CAM AND RICKY HAVE A WELL CHOREOGRAPHED FIGHT SCENE.

(just before dawn) CAM eventually beats RICKY to a pulp although it was not a completely one sided battle. CAM walks towards the door and sees his GIRLFRIEND get out of the car and start walking to the door. CAM stops just out of range of the laser that opens the door. However his GIRLFRIEND stops just in range on the other side so the doors open. Here they stand looking at each other for a couple of seconds. We then see CAM flinch as he is stabbed by SMITH in one last final attack.

10. INT SERVICE STATION LATE NIGHT 10.

We then cut to a scene that happened earlier in the day where CAM is shown serving a CUSTOMER. As the CUSTOMER and CAM trade goods they have a short conversation.

CUSTOMER

Thanks, have a good night

CAM

(said with a smirk on his face)

I don’t think it could get any worse…

CUT TO BLACK. THEN CREDITS ROLL