Danny

He’s been doing well since leaving the group home where he was verbally and physically abused for many years, beginning to trust again, and opening up to the ones he does trust. This to me is a miracle in itself since many so called “normal” individuals take years to get over this consistent abuse. I know many will question if I have proof of this abuse, and I answer to you, yes most definitely I do.

Danny’s mom has been working hard to get her son’s trust back, and has done an incredible job. He has a wonderful sister and brother who care about him and do their parts in making their brother feel safe at home once again. All of us together make sure Danny is comfortable, feels love around him, and allow him to be who he is.

This is the sad part, Danny is in fact autistic, and always will be. We as friends and family accept that and let Danny know that it’s okay to be who he is; we care about him and love him the way he is. Why then can services who you go to for help, help as in a worker to befriend Danny, and end up fighting to keep him where he is?

These people have no idea who Danny is, what he enjoys, what makes him happy or sad, they are just people who come in and see him once or twice and make a judgment call on whether this man is safe or not. Friends and family would not let Danny suffer, because we love him, if he was not safe we would be the first ones to notice and do something about it.

They say they are worried about his health, well, at the group home he was on a “strict” food budget that didn’t allow him the round meals his mom makes at home for him. They are worried about risk; again, if there was risk we would be the first to admit that. They question the mom’s decisions about her own son, a son that she gave birth to and has always taken care of. Danny’s mom is the strongest, smartest most dedicated to her son mother that I’ve ever met. Out of all the parents who wanted to pull their sons from this group home, she’s the only one that did…for her son.

Anyone who has children know that we will always put our children first, she did, unselfishly in this situation. Is she praised for this? Not at all, she’s questioned about her stability. Do people working for Government agencies on the outside realize how much courage and love this takes? Do they have adult autistic children at home who were abused? Danny’s mom knows that if she needs a break I’m there to help her, along with her other two children, and knowing her as I do, she’s intelligent enough to ask for it if she needs it.

I am writing this as Danny’s friend, future guardian along with his siblings as well as his worker. I’ve worked with Danny for many years and this is the first that I see him truly feeling safe, eating well, and comfortable. Now, that’s being questioned, by people who again don’t know him. His medical records are a free for all for these people, even though it should be his decision if he wants them looked at. The medical records are not Danny, they’re pieces of paper that show when Danny was not well…don’t we all have those? Does Danny not deserve the right as a 30 year old to decide what he wants? Apparently the Law say’s no, if you have a disability you have no rights. This is why I’m writing this, I’m hoping that anyone who reads this will think long and hard about their children and loved ones. What if this was you? What would you do?

We are going to fight for Danny and his rights, his right to be with his family without threat of it being taken away from him. His right to live a life free of sedating medications that keep him from being able to do what he loves. His right to live free of abuse and neglect.
This is written by me only, my opinion as a friend of Danny’s and a mother.

Beth Nuttall

Home