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| Before continuing, I would like to first give praise to Allah; for through him all things are possible. This site is definitely verification of this. Without him, Budah, and to a certain extent the voodoo god, Agwe, there is no way that my site would be here today. Well, maybe it would be here, but it wouldn't be as good. Maybe like 70 or 80%. Anyway, I think that I've proven my point. |
| What's New Up in This Bitch |
| What's Old Up in This Bitch |
| News: Who needs the newspaper? Yeah, fuck the newspaper. It thinks it's so good with all it's "integrity" and "accurate representations". |
| FAQs: Did you ever have a kid ask you where babies come from? So have I. Now, with my answers to Frequently Asked Questions, you can warp his mind and give him nightmares for the next five years. Yeah, fuck the newspaper. |
| Wal-Mart/My Brother and Me: Just a couple of simple quotes to live by, courtesy of Goo and Alfie, and Wal-Mart's world domination tracker. |
| Daily Journal: Daily events, disgusting observations about the contents and/or texture of my own shit, and other stuff. |
| Gods Analyzed: Sure, Ganeesha is good, but does he have as many arms as Vishnu? Don't you want a god with lots of arms? |
| Root Out Racism: Imagine a world without racism. Now imagine me shitting in your mouth. Got it? Hold that image. |
| Page 2: Ready 2 get Xtreme? Fuck Yeah! Check out Peter Gammons. Check out the bonus question. Check out Peter Gammons and the bonus question! |
| Erogenous Zone of the Month: Tired of jacking off the same old body part? Try incorporating the erogenous zone of the month. |
| Save/Kill Terri: Maybe if you vote to keep her alive you can really make a difference! Probably not though. |
| Pictures I don't have a camera and I don't plan on buying one. So you can use some age progression software if you really want to track me down. |
| Muhammad Ali: Now or Then? A complex look into the idiosyncracies of a man, a myth, a legend. And whether or not he could kick John Candy's ass. |
| March 1st, 2004 |
| Democrats '04: X-Men United What the hell? 2004 Democratic candidates? That was (insert number) years ago. When was the last time this website was updated? |
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| May 15th, 2004 |
| Why are you here? |
| I'm here because: |
| or write in your own reason: (you might have to click exactly on the edge of the write-in box for it to work. Isn't that great?) |
| April 2, 2004 |
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| May 28th, 2004 |
| May 31st, 2004 |
| January 20th, 2005 |
| I really don't see this site getting any new updates for the foreseeable future. It's a shame, I know. I've been putting random bullshit on this site since I was a wide-eyed high school student who masturbated too much and now I've grown into a mature narrow-eyed college student who masturbates too much. But, just to let you know, the hilariousness does not have to die with this site, no matter how much you may want it to. No, my friends, there is simply a new chapter in the unending story of The Asspage. I predict that this new chapter will mark a triumphant era that will rival any of the Chinese dynasties, of which I have no interest in learning the names of. The new website is located at theasspage.blogspot.com, and I promise the same lack of dedication and disapointing results that you have come to expect. In order to honor the legacy of this once proud and powerful megasite, its carcass will be left here to rot. Let me end by saying that if you never forget this site, it will never really die because it will be alive and well in our hearts. Maybe not in reality, but in our hearts. |