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Music With Pop In
by afrai

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"JC," said Chris, "take off that fucking hat."

JC was kind of huddled up, as if he was afraid they'd hit him. Or take his hat. Fair enough, because they were going to take his hat. 'Cos hats were okay, hats were good, JC could wear all the hats he wanted -- and usually did -- but damn it, this was just going too far.

"We haven't seen your head in days," said Lance, kind and concerned, like a priest welcoming a sinner back to the fold.

"Hat off, Chasez," said Joey, like a priest who was going to stab the sinner the minute his back was turned.

"Guys, you don't understand," said JC, and then, "Oof," and "Fuck! Chris! Get your fucking--" and "The shirt, watch the shirt--"

And then the hat was off.

On JC's head, bleached blond in streaks, was a perfect crop circle.

"That is the ugliest fucking thing I have ever seen on a human head," breathed Chris, in awe.

"What did you fucking do to yourself, man?" said Justin.

"You haven't even seen the orangutan," mumbled JC.

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The ground trembled. Dust and the occasional surprised bat floated down from the rafters.

The Archchancellor of Unseen University and Ponder Stibbons watched in horrified awe as the Dean did another pirouette.

"It's tearing up my heart when I'm with you -- although possibly it's my liver, I suppose I shouldn't have taken a seventh helping at supper last night -- but when we are apart, I feel it too -- indigestion is like that, don't you know --"

"I really don't know what to say," said Ridcully.

"Well--"

"No, it's all right, I've thought of something. What has happened to the Dean, what is that sound he's making, and why is he dancing like a trained monkey? Where is the Librarian, come to think of it? And why have I suddenly gone bald again?"

"Um," said Ponder. "Well, sir, if you could imagine the universe as a rubber sheet--"

"You don't know."

"Um. Well, um. There is a, um. No," said Ponder wretchedly.

The Dean bounced, and landed with a tremendous thud.

"Oh, well," said Ridcully. "Better get the Dean some dried frog pills. And somebody sweep up this damned glitter."

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"JC, why is there a monkey in your -- aaargh!"

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