Signs that you may be Canadian

Source: Forwarded email  (Sparked the idea for the site, then I went looking for more)

• You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK" 
  
• You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette." I just spilled my poutine. 
  
• You eat chocolate bars not candy bars. 
  
• You drink POP not SODA
  
• You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "party at the camp eh!!!" 
  
• You don't care about the fuss with Cuba, its a cheap place to travel with good cigars and no Americans.
  
• Pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway 
  
• You drive on a highway, not a freeway 
  
• You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers
  
• You know that Casey and Finnigan are not part of a Celtic Musical Group. 
  
• You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.  You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
  
• You know what a tuque is. 
  
• You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 
  
• You live in a house with no front step but yet the door is one meter from the ground. 
  
• Your local paper covers the national news on 2 pages but requires 6 pages for hockey. 
  
• You know four seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction. 
  
• You understand the Labatt Blue commercials. 
  
• You perk up when you hear the theme from Hockey Night in Canada. 
  
• You are in grade 12 not the 12th grade. 
  
• "EH" is a very important part of your vocabulary. 
  
• You actually get these jokes and forward them to all of your Canadian friends!!!! 

Source Canoe.ca

• You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. 
  
• Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow. 
  
• The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus. 
  
• You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing u's from labor, honor, and color. 
  
• You know how to say free, prize and no sugar added in French thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
  
• You've plugged a car in overnight.
  
• You've defended your property from trespassers with a hockey stick because you don't own a gun. 

Source: www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/1011/know.html

• You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
  
• The mosquitoes have landing lights.
  
• You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
  
• Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
  
• You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
  
• You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
  
• You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
  
• You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
  
• At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
  
• The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
  
• Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
  
• You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
  
• You head south to go to your cottage.
  
• You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
  
• You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
  
• The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo it's sausage making.
  
• You find -40C a little chilly.
  
• The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
  
• You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorrels.
  
• You can play road hockey on skates.
  
• You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
  
• You know what it means to be on pogey.
  
• You can drink legally while still a 'teen.
  
• You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
  
• When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.
  
• You're not sure if the leader of your nation has EVER had sex and you don't want to know if he has!
  
• You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
  
• You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
  
• You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap".
  
• You know that Mounties "don't always look like that".
  
• You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly".
  
• You know that the Friendly Giant isn't a vegetable product line.
  
• You participated in "Participaction".
  
• You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale, "What's good enough protection for the Prime Minister is good enough for me".
  
• You wonder why there isn't a 5 dollar coin yet.
  
• Like any international assassin/terrorist/spy in the world, you carry a Canadian passport.
  
• You can do all the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram's "Skin-a-ma-rinky-dinky-doo" opus.
  
• You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
  
• You were mad when "The Beachcombers" were taken off the air.
  
• You have some memento of Doug and Bob.
  
• You never miss "Coaches Corner".
  
• Back bacon and Kraft Dinner are two of your favourite food groups.
  
• You don't feel the urge to purchase maple syrup at the airport.
  
• When in Niagara Falls, you scoff at how pathetic the American falls are compared to the Canadian ones.
  
• You're not easily impressed by British accents.
  
• You're easily impressed by British accents.
  
• You assume the channel you're watching the Super Bowl on probably isn't showing the really good commercials.
  
• You won a copy of the Bob and Doug record on CD, but refuse to admit to anyone that you've ever said "eh" in your life.
  
• You fly into a rage in a Los Angeles 7-Eleven because they don't sell Crispy Crunch.
  
• You would feel safe leaving your children alone with a grown man in a leotard playing a flute to a chicken.
  
• You need a list like this to explain to you what it means to be Canadian

Source: www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/locality/canadian.shtml

• Thinks an income tax refund is a gift from the government.
  
• On seeing a light at the end of a tunnel, assumes it is a train.
  
•  When given a compliment, always looks behind to see for whom it is intended.
  
•  Knows the difference between the Northern Lights and a Northern Lite.
  
•  Doesn't know anyone who owns a flag.
  
• Finds Kentucky Fried Chicken "a bit too spicy".
  
• Holds the world's record for telephone use, probably listening to "Don't hang up. Your call is important to us."
  
• Is constantly pulling himself up by the roots to see whether he is still growing.
  
• Will drive to an unemployment protest meeting in his Toyota.
  
• Is convinced that democracy involves keeping your opinions to yourself.
  
• In a restaurant, apologizes for not being ready to order at the waiter's convenience.
  
• Will travel across the border to buy cigarettes and return home for subsidized cancer therapy.
  
• Says "sorry" when you accidentally bump into him.
  
• Waits for the light to change before crossing a deserted intersection at 3 a.m.
  
• Takes as a signal for a standing ovation any two people who happen to be leaving during curtain calls.
  
• Believes the Free Trade Agreement is an agreement about free trade.
  
• Says "no big deal" to a sidewalk cyclist who's just knocked him down.
  
• Considers turning up the thermostat an integral part of foreplay.
  
• Says "no thanks" to a telemarketing tape.
  
• Never sits in someone else's seat, even if the ticket holder doesn't show.
  
• Says hi to anyone walking a dog.
  
• Goes to hot-tub parties where people wear bathing suits.
  
• Finds himself thinking about sending off to "Hinterland: Who's Who" for further information on the loon.
  
• Carries travelers checks in a money belt.
  
• Heartily proclaims, "Sure it's 38 below, but it's a dry cold."
  
• When he musters enough courage to buy a Rolex watch, wears it hidden under a long-sleeve shirt and an Eaton's suit.