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| Nobu & Brad - Our History - |
Thank you for visiting our homepage. As of 31 December 2005, we will no longer be updating this page--it will remain as a tribute to the first six years of our relationship. Please visit Brad's Gay Japan page and sign our guestbook, both of which are current. Cheers! |
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Our second date
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First Meeting In November 1999, Brad started surfing the Net to find a man! Coming across a gay Japanese site, he took a chance and wrote (in Japanese) to Nobu. At first, Nobu was rather surprised to be getting mail from a foreigner. He wasn't looking for a foreign guy in particular, and the message had been written in Japanese, too! But he also took a chance and replied. We started a month-long e-mail relationship. We were pleased to learn that we shared similar tastes in music (Sarah McLachlan / Erasure) and many common interests. Finally, on 12 December 1999, we met for the first time in front of Hankyu Department Store in downtown Kyoto. And it was a success! |
The 'Ex' Brad's ex-boyfriend (his first) was not a nice guy. And since Brad had broken up with him just a few months before meeting Nobu, the 'ex' featured in many early conversations. Since Brad was (and still is) Nobu's first boyfriend, Nobu misunderstood this initial fixation to mean that Brad was still in love! This was cause for some jealousy at first, but eventually we cleared it up. Nobu is the best boyfriend anyone could ask for. |
Getting Serious Not long after our second date, Brad was to head off to Thailand for a 2-week vacation with some friends. Although we had agreed to talk the night before his departure, a mishap with forgotten phones led to some serious disappointment. However, Nobu made things up by coming to see Brad off at the airport, confirming that this relationship really DID mean something. Upon his return to Japan, Brad phoned Nobu and the two of us spent an entire week together...a week that strengthened our desire to be together in so many ways... In March, we took at trip to Malaysia together. |
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Malaysia Our first trip abroad as a couple took us to Malaysia, where we spent 10 days traveling the west coast, visiting Kuala Lumpur, Ipoh and Melaka. We were particularly enchanted with the unfinished 'castle' outside Ipoh known as Kelly's Folly. We also enjoyed cycling around the peaceful streets of Melaka. |
Language Issues Anyone who has been in a cross-cultural relationship will understand how many problems can arise from language differences. We were no exception. While in Japan, we spent most of the time speaking in Japanese. During our year in New Zealand, we spoke primarly in English (with some pidgin Japanese thrown in). This has led to numerous fights over the years--it's hard enough communicating with a lover with you both speak the same language! Over time, we have come to a deeper understanding of each other's culture and language, and developed a willingness not to take every miscommunication too seriously. |
Illness & Stress Our relationship had its first big test when Brad got glandular fever (a.k.a. mono) and ended up in the hospital for 2 weeks. Despite the stress of this period, Nobu was an excellent nurse, braving the summer heat to visit Brad every day and take amazing care of him. Release from the hospital caused new problems. Recovery from glandular fever takes time, and Nobu was stressed by the heat and by his nursing duties. It all came to a head when Nobu refused to attend the Gay & Lesbian Film Festival, which Brad had been working on for several months. Nobu still regrets that decision, but we learned a lot from that time. |
Onomichi Later that same summer, once things had settled down, we visited Nobu's hometown of Onomichi, a delightful historical city about halfway between Hiroshima and Okayama cities. Nobu was actually born on Mukaishima Island, located in the Seto Inland Sea. Brad had the chance to meet Nobu's parents, too! |
Temples in
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 Swimming the Inland Sea - Mukaishima |
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 Nobu's graduation - Kamigamo-so |
Home By this time, we were essentially living together. Although Nobu still had a flat in southern Kyoto (near his university), we spent most of our time at Brad's flat in Kamigamo. Nobu moved in 'officially' in February 2001. Given that Brad is an only child and had been living alone for over three years, this was not an easy transition. Space-wise, things improved with our move to a house in Sai-in, Mibu in May 2001. |
 Our house - Sai-in |
Travels We have managed to do a fair bit of traveling during our years together. July & August 2001 took us on a whirlwind tour of Seattle, USA and several places in Canada. During this trip, Nobu had the opportunity to meet many of Brad's friends, and get a better idea of what Brad's life in Canada was like. We started out in Seattle viting Wendy, one of Brad's best friends from Japan. In Vancouver, BC, we attended our first ever gay pride parade. Finally, we stayed with Brad's parents in Ontario. Although we anticipated problems with stress, it actually turned out to be an excellent experience. Of course, Brad's parents couldn't help but love Nobu! In early 2002, when Brad had an overwhelming Canadian desire to see snow, we made a weekend trip to Fukui, north of Kyoto. |
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Thailand We have now visited Thailand on two occasions. En route to New Zealand in April 2002 we stopped over for two weeks, spending most of our time in Bangkok and in the ancient capital of Ayutthaya. The picture on the left shows the calm before the storm; a few mintues later we were caught in a downpour and were nearly hit by lightning - it hit one of the crumbling towers nearby and we felt the jolt all through us! VERY scary. Our second visit was on the outbound trip from NZ in September 2003. This time we spent 2 weeks in Bangkok and its environs, including a very cool trip to a replica park known as the 'Ancient City'. |
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April 2002 was the beginning of our life in the questionably far-off location of New Zealand. The decision was made somewhat on the spur of the moment, driven by our mutual desire to start a 'new life' somewhere other than our home countries of Japan or Canada. We found ourselves in Auckland, where Brad completed a teaching certification and then taught ESL while Nobu honed his English skills. However, we found Auckland an unwelcoming and impersonal city, and we suffered from lonliness and isolation. We moved to the capital of Wellington, which was much more suited to our tastes, where Nobu did a six-month travel & tourism course and Brad worked in a wine bar. In the end, however, it was clear that the home of the Kiwi, the Maori people and the Lord of the Rings was not for us (at least, not at the time). After a two-week tour of the beautiful South Island, we departed in September 2003.
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A Final Fling September 2003 brought us back again to Japan. Despite plans to head almost immediately to Canada, problems with obtaining the proper visa for Nobu obliged us to make the (not so difficult) decision to spend a few extra months in Japan. We visited friends in Tokyo and made several trips around the area. |
Canada We moved to Canada in January 2004, settling in Vancouver, BC. Nobu applied for residency as Brad's common-law spouse, and was granted that privilege in March 2005. In August 2005, Brad's parents visited, and stayed with us for over a week. It turned out to be a positive experience for everyone, showing just how far we all have come in the last few years. As we bring this page to a close, we have been together just over six amazing years. We cannot predict what the future holds, but we look forward to our life together. |
