Chris Cooney
Wanted everybody to know he can be found at Café Eclipse
The Insecure Thespian
Violent Pacifist
Stueulwatao pue Sjotoa
What Doesn't Kill You
The Insecure Thespian
Sometimes I wonder,
If my life is a musical,
Yet I don't know the words,
And can't carry a tune.
Sometimes I wonder
If my life is an action movie,
And I'm just a background street crosser,
Or the little nerdy guy,
Who's in the wrong place
At the wrong time.
Sometimes I wonder,
If my life were a sci-fi,
If I would be just one
Of the
Redshirts.
Wow. I hope not.
The Redshirts are always the first to go.
Sometimes I wonder,
If I'm just an
Extra
In some grand cinematic production,
And if it really matters,
If I go down in the crossfire.
But what if I was the main star?
With all of the responsibilities,
And troubles,
And villains
And cuts and bruises,
That comes with being the hero, the star.
Do I really want that?
Or would I rather just be a Redshirt.
I used to think that the Director chose.
But he merely directs,
And does not cast.
So the question is posed for me to answer.
And sometimes I wonder,
If my life were a movie
Should I play a part,
Or just be another,
Faceless extra.
Fin.
I'm sick and tired,
Of being hated or feared,
Simply because some stupid people
Think I'll bring a gun to school.
Be careful of the pacifist!
The motto that they seem to live by.
They look at me as if to say,
I'm treating you nice so you don't shoot me.
I've come up with a plan, though,
To allay any suspicion
That I'm a psycho violent freak
With a pungent for destruction.
You see, I've been watching
My fellow classmates with care
And monitoring their conversations
To see how I can be considered more sane.
I've found out that to be trusted
And no longer thought as a threat
I'll have to be ACTUALLY violent
Just so they won't suspect.
I'll punch people in the face
And then stomp on their heads,
Then go to school the next day
And brag about it all day long.
This plan must not fail
I've perfected every bit
Because maybe if I randomly beat people up
And brag about it all the time,
Maybe people won't think of me as crazy and violent anymore.
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After long days and nights
Of pondering and comparing and thinking (ouch)
I've come to the conclusion that,
When it comes to relationships,
I'm really, well,
Unscathed.
It doesn't help that, try as I might,
I can't get in a relationship.
What it is that I need is someone to hurt me.
To rip out my soul
Eat my pride
Smash my ego
And destroy my courage.
Someone to make me feel
Worthless
Dirty
Evil
Victimized.
And to kill me.
Kill me dead.
Call me names.
Break my bones.
And hurt me.
Who am I to be so lucky
As to stumble through life,
Blindly dodging bullets
That I'm unknowingly always
Trying to jump in front of?