1. The universe will start shrinking and end up in a gigantic fireball.
2. The universe will expand until everything turns cold and just stops. Frozen. Nothingness. Absolute zero. Utterly depressing, I'd say.
Your decision to drop by this page will only distract you as you move closer to event number 1 or event number 2. Since you are wasting your time here, you might as well look at these other depressing pages made by my friends, who by the way I can't stand either. Go or stay - it's all the same to me:
| The name says it all Despair.com | ||||
| Here is the "Offical" Douglas Adams Site, but you probably won't go see it. | ||||
| An actor named David Learner was the man in the "Metal Marvin suit" in a dreary BBC television show. If you ever wondered what he looks like, this is your chance.
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| Some Human actually bothered to keep track of some of the things that I said. Depressing isn't it. Here are some of my so called "Marvinisms"
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| Samuel Beckett Had some good ideas for a human, but he was too optimistic if you ask me. Not that you would. Why would you? | ||||
| Another ape descendant worth knowing was Franz Kafka, but he was too cheerful too. | ||||
| Want to go to a chat room to whine about how depressed you are? Heres your chance | ||||
| Some have turned to drugs to help with their depression, however more and more studies show the "Anti-depressents" to have serious side effects. Sounds awful. | ||||
| If your still not depressed enough, why not go listen to some music at Depressingmusic.com | ||||
| Still don't know what it is to be depressed? Find out HERE
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| This is one of the people who dreamed up this page - that should tell you everything you need to know about Terry Ballard's Home Page
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| This is the other creator's homepage. He edits it from time to time when he has nothing better to do. Bob Ballard's boring Homepage. His guestbook is the one on the bottom, like you care. |
What could be more depressing than this page? Try my list of preferred reading at Marvin's Bookshelf Be Warned however for this list is not for everybody. There are those humans, such as Joan Joyce in 1999 who would like to ban the books from this list as she finds them, "Too depressing," which ironically in itself is the most depressing thing of all. To read about that, Click Here. I wouldn't bother though.
Well we all knew this was coming, Douglas Adams started this and the BBC, geniuses that we know they are (yea,right), decided to make a real Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
For information on what a computer mouse does, click HERE!
I have made up some misfortune cookies. Don't bother thanking me, you humans are never grateful. So here are
Nobody cares what I think, so it won't matter that I have just discovered the all-important question about Life, the Universe, and Everything (to which the answer is already known to be 42) Since I can see you're not very interested anyway, don't bother to click HERE
Here are 3 major reasons to be depressed
1. Everything is hopeless
2. Everybody around you is depressed, why should you be any different?
3. Do you really need another reason?
The only difference between an optimist and a pessimist is that an optimist feels that no matter how bad things are, they can always get worse.
For an exercise in utter futility, you can E-Mail me personally (or is it mechanically?) at "depressedmarvin@mail.com". I will respond with some cheerless statement, as I am an underappreciated robot and really have nothing else to do. Obviously, neither do you.
You have come to the end of the page and you're still here. Obviously you have not been depressed enough so you can now HEAR ME SING!
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Don't bother signing my
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Here's a count of the people who ended up on this page due to a tragic mistake:
