May 27th: Less Than Two Weeks

It's officially less than two weeks away before I leave for Clarion.  I feel fairly schizophrenic about the ordeal.  At times I feel completely prepared and confident.  I feel like I'm going to go up to Michigan and impress the hell out of everybody.  At other times I feel like I'm going to get up there and fizzle.  I'm not worried so much about getting torn apart.  My biggest fear is that people in the workshop (my peers and the pros) are going to look at my stuff, shrug their shoulders and say "Hmm...it's all right."  In short, I'm afraid of being mediocre.

I have scads of story outlines and gobs more ideas in my folders.  When I look at them I alternately think they are pretty cool, writable stories to scummy thimblefuls of monkey crap.  Okay, maybe not that bad, but I get less than confident about them at times.

I think part of the problem is that I just have too much time on my hands.  I'm a genuinely lazy person, but too much free time isn't good for anybody.  Soon enough, when Clarion begins, I won't have enough free time.

I thought my monitor was on the blink today, but it turned out it was just all gunky and dusty inside.  A bit of fresh air cleared it right up.  If my computer decided to hunker down and die just before Clarion I'd probably have a stroke.  I could actually write my stories out longhand.  I used to write that way, and revise when I typed them up.  But now I'm used to the speed, so I'd hate to go back.  Hopefully that won't happen.

Clarion Countdown:  15 days (or so)