Express yourself Clearly

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Aja! Ajjah!

Mode: Busy/Working
Emotion : Worried

Wish: Help!
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Aja - Korean word which means, go, fight, u can do it! (Learned from Lovers in Paris)

Grabe na ito! im having a hard time, making my Thesis...mdali lng napprove ang technology na una kong naisip at napropose "VOICE TO TEXT CONVERSION SOFTWARE", i have to develop it and depend the functionality, usability, compatibility,feasibility etc to super strict panelist! whew! how can i make it? I dont know, i think... i feel i cant make it! i wont be able to pass this... Alternative solution 1: Propose new topics which i can possibly develop - ano kaya?! dahil sa hopelessness may ilang topic na baka sakali - 1) PNP Crime Management Info. System 2)NCST Multimedia Management & Information System 3)BIR Tax Card System
Alternative Solution 2: Bumili o magpadevelop ng critically aclaimed and professionally made na program pero gumastos ng hundreds of thousand pesos to million.
Alternative solution 3:Enjoy life, Eat, Drink, Party, Be Happy,Easy Go Lucky! Wag ng tapusin ang thesis... wag ng mggraduate ng MIT...Gumaya sa iba,sumuko na...
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Yah it's super difficult (arduous, difficile, effortful, labored, laborious, operose, strenuous, toilsome, uphill, problematic), I better give up but i cant, i wont! i will/i shall NEVER retreat nor surrender! Ajaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! I can do it! Kaya ko to!God please HELP ME!

buhay working student...

Jollibee Foods Corporation (Taal Vista Hotel Tagaytay City) - I work as a service crew, summer of april- oct '96. Sobrang hirap ng trabaho ng service crew in cashier or dining area - magmop from time to ng floor,mgligpit ng pngkainan, mgbuhat ng mabibigat na tables, trash can at mop washer, maghugas ng lahat ng tools and equipts, cashier - pagharap sa mga dragon at makukulit na customers na palaging may time pressure, mhirap pa pagnagkamali sa pera, babayaran mo ang shortage mo.

Philips Industries Inc (EPSA Rosario Cavite) - I work as factory worker, summer of april '97 til may '97, grabe 12 hours a day ang trabaho sa konting sweldo -116/day,kasama ko pa d2 eh mga lola na masusungit at matataray, mdali lng work me minsan tagadikit lng ng mga swoosh ng shoes, o tga cut ng mga designs( nike and rebook product nmin yng orig ha , pangexport)!ang mahirap don magkkasakit ka, maalikabok,ska mdaming mga foreign objects, rugby na masisinghot. shifting, minsan me lng magisa sa bhaws, nkkatakot,pero wla me mggwa kundi mgtyaga,magtiis.1 month lang me d2 nagkasakit kc me kaya nagresign ako, ska tinawagan na me for jollibee.

Jollibee Foods Corporation(Tagaytay Junction) -I work as SMART( sales marketing assistant-position for beautiful, smart and intelligent personel! Whew! he he!) june '97 - oct '97 mejo madali lng ang work ko dito para ding boss, nakikipagdeal sa mga customers for big orders and parties...nghohost at ngoorganize din ng parties and events, management and promotions of promos and toys... yng uniform namin ay red and yellow na katulad ang design ng sa managers color lang ang naiba(kya lng me, wla pa kming SMART uniform dahil sa pioneer kami, kya crew uniform gamit nmin).

Dunkin'Donuts [Manso Foods Corp] - i serve as a Counter Person -eto yong all around cashier, tagabuhat ng malaking crates na may lamang 72 pcs donuts 6 dozens, tga brush and mop ng buong shop at magisa mo lng gagawin yan! hu hu kya cguro di na me lumaki! full time me d2, 8 hours a day at may situations pa na 12 hrs. grabe 1 time eh ng12 hrs me wlang 2log grabe ngsusulat me ng cashiers report eh tlgang nkk2log me,pti sa jip at sa upuan sa bahay diko na nkuhang mkahiga sa sobrang antok.I work at Dunkin Dasma, SM Bacoor, Kadiwa & Tagaytay!188 -200/day salary + OT kaya mejo malaki naitulong sa kin nito... nakabili me ng souvenir n refrigerator from my savings...katas ng dunkin' donuts...

Struggles : Hirap kc 7:30 a.m pasok sa skul everyday, tapos work after that, then ang labas sa work eh 10:30 - 11:00 + 1 hr na travel time, kylangan ko pa gumawa ng assignments, projects o mgreview for exams, past 12 na mkkrating sa boarding haws, minsan kaylangan pa maglaba, mgplantsa ng uniform, i wonder kng pano ko namanage i2! Sa class namin sa LAW - nkakahighest pa me sa exam, never me nagkaroon ng INComplete or failing grades, Never rin me nalate sa class...yon nga lng minsan eh inaantok me, and almost maka2log na sa klase, pero sa unahan p rn me umuupo and make sure na i'l understand what d teacher will talk about. Thesis namin BSCS program for Dunkin'Donuts (me & Lhey) pareho kami working studs sa Dunkin'Donuts ang kaisa-isa na nkakuha ng grade na 98 with excellent remark!Well successful ang pagaaral ko at pagtatrabaho ng sabay, although di me ngkahonor ng college kc nga sobrang bz sked ko, competent pa rin nman grades ko. Actually dapat summer job lang pero nasanay na me, nagenjoy at malaki naitulong sa finances namin, nkatulong me pandagdag tuition, pambaon, panggastos, project, at pansariling allowance. Ayaw na nila(family) me pagtrabahuhin kc,only girl kc me, from chubby eh halos naging super slim me, pero cge pa rn me gusto ko kc makatulong kahit konti... Napakahirap, minsan pagod na pagod na me, pero dahil sa sobrang pagod at worry lalo na pag may exam eh di me maka2log (insomia)!Mahirap pero nakaya ko at nagtagumpay ako, eto lang yan eh - Lakasan ng loob, tagisan ng galing! Dream, Believed and Survived, dapat ganyan kadetermined, Di dapat sumuko khit na inaaway me ng supervisors o manager ko at sobrang hirap / pagod ng katawan... Ajjah pa rn! bamalos... Go pa rn! Kaya ko to!

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Patience, perseverance, determination, hardwork, concern, love, dream, endurance, taking risk, strong will power, Faith in God... Prayers that can keep us going for our goal... to making our dreams come true... With all that, i've been thru ... I become a better person...

Investments....

Hanapbuhay, Negosyo... Invest for additional earnings...

Mother & Brother business : Whole sale & Retail Grocery with Rolling Store
Groceries at low prices which can be delivered to ur door (foods and other basic needs)!
Father : Chickens Egg Delivery (white n red)
Small - 95, Medium - 100, Large -105 XL - 110 Jumbo -115
Sonia (sister in law) - DXN ( Herbal Medicine -pampapayat,pampataba,pampaganda,food supplement, pangkalusugan) AVON, Standard ( pahulugan ng lahat ng small appliance ng standard) ,Natasha at sari2 store!
Me - My House ( its for rent ) , 4Cows + 1Carabao (each cost more or less 25Thou)

Interested for business proposal or to be our customer text or call: 09198038519
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Hirap kc ng buhay ngayon kya dapat bukod sa trabaho eh may extra income pa. Thanks God for all the blessings...

Monday, January 10, 2005

Yes'...No's...Favorites...

Favorites / YES' / LIKES:

Music: Gospel /love songs
Songs : All Gary V. & Sarah Geronimo's songs
Singer: Gary V. , Sarah G., Sharon C. ,F4
Actors/Actress: Keanu Reeves,Sharon C., Sarah G.,Manilyn R. ,F4(oldies!)
Movies: My only love (sharon & Gabby), Titanic, Lord of the Rings, Forest Gump, Pay it forward
TV PROGram: Cartoons esp DORA D Explorer/ Lovers in Paris/ Meteor Garden (feeling bata!)
TV Shows : ASAP (njan kc c Sarah)
Food: spaghetti, sopas, adobo,sinigang!
Place: my home, church, beach, field, riverside, environmental sceneries
Clothes : simple unrevealing, old and rugged shirts, shorts, pants or skirt (yong kapag suot ko eh mukha me k2long n gusgusin parang cinderella! he he!)
Things to do:planning, budgetting, playing w/ my nephew, writing, reading,watching TV,singing,dancing,acting, directing
person: Rhonz,lhiz,lhey,whie mgabestfriends ko during college, Normz- my bestfriend during LET Licensure review,Tontoy(nephew)-super cute n super bait kc, Ama,inay,toy uel n toy emar,sonia - super family ko, Harold & Byron - super loving exboyfriends, super attentive DFC youth - jazheel, david,daniel,jessa, ayesa,ela,grace,mikay,mbel,rogel,christian,badeth(sori sa mga nalimutan ko!), NCST Fave studs- Thess M. n friends,Rio joyce, amabel n rhea, paulo, oliver, alvin!/Coleague - M'Ghie - kumare, S'Jhov-closest boy friend!
Food Chains: Jollibee (2 times me ngwork d2 '96 & '97, d best ang spaghetti d2), Dunkin Donuts (1 yr me ngwork d2 98-99, d best ang donuts!)

No's/Dislikes/ Donts:

Things to do: maglinis ng bahay(allergic me sa alikabok),maglaba,magplantsa(hirap ako,pro lagi ko ring ginagawa!), AYOKO mgresearch ng thesis, maggala, MANGUTang
Food: NO sweets , esp chocolates (feeling ko bka masira ang nice teeth ko!, ska madali me maging acidic w/ sweets, nkakautah!)
Smoke(cigarettes): I hate smokers, i hate smokes!
Gossips, Rumors, Green Jokes: its not ethical to talk about it n spread to others!

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whew! Im very easy to please! wala me masyadong kaartehang taglay!

over and over again...

everyday sched :

mon - fri

5:30 am : wake up ,pray, then cook, little exercise

6:15 am: take a bath / iron sometimes

6:30 break fast

6:45 leave for work (travel time 10-15 mins)

7:00 - 5:00 work/ teach/ papers/ chat and chika during breaks ...

5:00 -5:30 go home / grocery sometimes

5:30 - 6:30 watch TV/cartoons

6:30-8:00 cook & dinner

8:00 -10:00 watch telenovelas (spirit,krystalla,mulawin,lovers in paris) ,starstruck & starcircle quest / write in the diary/ read bible/write verses & other things.../record finances/

10:01 lights off/ pray/ sleep

Sat 7-11 wash clothes/ clean house esp CR / go to TUP Mla / 11 onwards rest/ 4:00 leave for Alfonso(hometown) 2 hours travel time/ 6pm 0nwards: play w/ tontoy(nephew) , eat dinner, watch tv

Sun 7 -9 am clean the house while playing w/ tontoy/take a bath/read bible & pray/no breakfast its my fasting day /9-12 church /12 lunch / 1 onwards travel back to dasma /3 onwards: rest/watch tv/iron/cook

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a very simple life... i am some what so lazy... sana nman may madagdag na exciting activity sa schedule ko... shooting, dubbing or recording man lng! he he! is this the kind of life for a "young professional ", how boring?!

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Denara...

Welcome to 2005...

New challenges we're about to face...
New adventures and experiences...
New people to know and new friends to make...
Life may be full of excitement, difficulties and hardship...
Just fill your heart with hope, patience and perseverance...
Keep your faith in God, stronger and always put your trust in Him...
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Hay! back to reality ang sarap magbakasyon!Christmas sa haws lng, visit lola, New year sa church till midnight we welcome the new year with praise and thanksgiving to God. I wish for a brighter tomorrow! happy and blessed life for all of us!

Friday, December 17, 2004

2004

Looking back ...

Me: Nothing exciting happens, i've not engaged into any andventure, fascinating activities, nothing remarkable, very plain, simple, house - work as always...

january- onwards - happy together
march - my uncle Lope died ( very painful moment for Salazar clan)
april 5 - we move to our new house and lot at villa luisa homes ( finally i have my own house)
may - summer camp at Ternate w/ Valenzuela Dalandanan, Silang, Ternate & Kaysuyo youth, found new friends -Mark ( a young male dancer) , Pstr. Dondon( very good musician & hands on Pastor), at yong mga makukulit na taga Ternate.
june - onwards - classes , work..., may mga makukulit...
Dec - na ulet bilis ng mga araw, Pasko na naman!

so it was TIRING but a boring year! But i' m very thankful to God for all things, family, friends, blessings, trials and troubles i've overcome!

Philippines : Super grabe - economic crisis, calamities, increase in prices of gasoline, basic needs, food, water, electricity and everything else but salary and income does not...

Highlights : May Election - GMA won! , Dec - FPJ died!, Garcia's - SCAM

the philipines and its people is a picture of hopelessness, severe poverty, severe corruption, sinful environment, social menace of immorality, its an endless battle to live and survive...

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whatever lies ahead always have faith in God! 2 Chronicles 7:14If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

sm

masyadong seryoso yong mga past write ups d2... lets have some cool, funny and real life story...

Isang hapon namili ako, may mga pads, a ream of bond paper, a bible, some groceries... I was there to relax, i even watch the live bands, the entertainment live...their song was nice, the singer and musician was very good. This is the day that i appreciate the beauty of the song " sacrifice", " the reason ", i dont if these songs are rock or hip hop, or pop... when i finally decide to go home ... syempre dala dala ko pa rin ang inspiration ng mga beautiful songs na narinig ko...maybe my imagination is still wondering about the essence of the song... nang bigla na lang... bhoog...phak... nahulog ako sa may lobby... towards the porch ... grabe nakakahiya ... nadapa talaga ako, dami pa namang tao... " ano ba yan!(sabi ng isang dalaga )", napatingin silang lahat sa akin... syempre ang lola mo smile lang at poised na tumayo... at taas noo pinulot ang napakabigat na mga pinamili at parang Miriam Quiambao ang arrive na muling lumakad na parang walang nangyari... pero sa totoo lang gusto ko ng sumigaw at umiyak sa sobrang sakit ng tuhod ko na grabe pala ang gasgas till now ay may pilat pa ng ala alang ito...pero nagpapasalamat pa rin ako dahil di ako naipit ng sasakyan dahil baka magkaamnesia ako o maparalyze at least sugat lang ang inabot ko...at syempre wala namang nakakilala sa akin... kung pinagtawan naman nila ako Ok lang...pero sana may tumulong sa akin di ba... pero wala eh...

isang sabado ng hapon, dumaan ako dito para bumili ng dunkin donut, favorite kasi ng one and only pamangkin ko na si tontoy (Glen mark christian, 3 yrs old) ang strawberry filled donuts. dahil my free na 6 pieces na choco bang bang ( munchkins coated with chocolate) , one dozen ang binili ko. Tapos dumaan ako sa department store para bumili sana ng costume ni superman (gusto nya kasi ng costume ng flying hero) kaya lang wala na silang display, so iba na lang binili ko yong jumper ng garfield na maganda para sa kanya. Binayaran ko sa cashier, nang kumuha ako ng pera ay inilapag ko sa my stand ng mga gift wrappers yong donuts. Habang hinihintay ko ang cashier, pinagmasdan ko ang sinusundan na costumer kase ang ganda ng binili nyang laruan, blue violet ang kulay at worth 3999, isang battery operated na malaking kotse na pwedeng sakyan till 10-12 years old na bata...(siguro mayaman sila, swerte naman ng anak nya o sinumang pagbibigyan nya)! My turn, nagbayad na ako at lumakad, patingin tingin, nagpasya na akong bumaba ... sumakay na ko sa escalator ...teka parang may kulang ah... pagtingin ko sa bitbit... naku yong donuts nqiwan ko... sa pagmamadali ko tensed na tensed akong umakyat pabalik kahit na nasa pababa akong escalator... naku naiwan ko yong donuts...pero kahit anong pagmamadali ko di ako nakakaakyat...non ko lang narealize na tumatawa na mga sales lady na kasabay ko sa escalator... nang di na siguro makatiis nagsalita na " mam sa kabila na lang po "... dahil siguro napagod na rin ako at nahiya sa kanila ... sumangayon na rin ako " ay oo nga , sa kabila na lang nga!", finally nakataas ako at nakabalik sa cashier kung saan ko ito naiwan... ilang sandali pa lang ang nakalipas pero wla na don ang donuts... nagtanong ako sa mga sales clerk at cashier na nakapaligid, wala daw silang nakita...naghanap hanap pa rin baka makita ko ang nakapulot...wala talaga!... grabe naman ...sayang yon 177 pesos ... nakakainis talaga... huli kasi ako!bumaba ako sa 2nd floor a bright idea sparkle in my brain... magtanong kaya ako sa customer service...well nahihiya man ako kasi mura lang naman yon kung tutuusin...pero sa isang mahirap na tulad ko importante pa rin...kaya nagbakasakali pa rin ako...tumawag yong staff ng isang tutulong ... dumating ang lalaki...tinanong kung anong nawala...sandali daw may tatawagan... hintayin ko daw... ikot ikot ako, tingin tingin...maya maya dumating na ang lalake dala dala na ang donuts may number pa 1639 , cguro ganito na karami ang items sa lost and found... thanks God nabalik...masaya na akong umuwi kahit mejo ginabi rin ako... this time nagingat na ko no... ayoko nang madapa...

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ang lahat ng itoy pawang katotohan at nangyari sa vicinity ng SM Shoe Mart , Pala pala Dasmariñas... sanay natawa kayo at nakapulutan ng aral...

to the one i LOVE most

Though I am stubborn, you still accepted me, you know everything about me, you understand my moods, my mistakes and sins, you forgive me for that although I’m hurting you most of the time…you’re patience stood still in spite my being brat… though I fall short with your standards because most of the time I act just like a fool… I do things even its wrong…I am selfish and self centered…I ignored and neglect you most of the time…I’m busy doing lots of stuff, I even forgot to text or call you, or to read your messages… I’m not interested to listen to you…I am not able to talk to you seriously, sincerely and intimately… you missed me I know …but I’m just too tired and have no time to spend with you… even I know you’re waiting. I was so insensitive to feel how much you LOVED me…sometimes you let me fall, let me hurt, let me feel the pain… when nobody else was there for me...but still you were there …You just stay to comfort me…help me when I’m in need…strengthen me when I am weak…You never leave me alone…I may not deserve your very Tender Loving Care but still you offer it unconditionally…its endless…you patiently wait for me …you were so great I shall say…you’re more than a boy friend or best friend…

For all those times you stood by me For all the truth that you made me see For all the joy you brought to my life For all the wrong that you made right For every dream you made come true For all the love I found in you I'll be forever thankful baby You're the one who held me up Never let me fall You're the one who saw me through through it all
You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave me faith 'coz you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me
You gave me wings and made me fly You touched my hand I could touch the sky I lost my faith, you gave it back to me You said no star was out of reach You stood by me and I stood tall I had your love I had it all I'm grateful for each day you gave me Maybe I don't know that much But I know this much is true I was blessed because I was loved by you
You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave me faith 'coz you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me
You were always there for me The tender wind that carried me A light in the dark shining your love into my life You've been my inspiration Through the lies you were the truth My world is a better place because of you...
You were my strength when I was weak You were my voice when I couldn't speak You were my eyes when I couldn't see You saw the best there was in me Lifted me up when I couldn't reach You gave me faith 'coz you believed I'm everything I am Because you loved me
I'm everything I am Because you loved me (by: Celine Dion)

You’re the only one worthy of being LOVE MOST… I shall…
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Lord God, Jesus, My saviour, my friend, my father … thanks for everything!
Matthew 22:37 "you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. "

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

F.I.A.N.C.E.

On the night of our first year anniversary you have asked me out for a formal dinner party, you said its your company’s celebration for a great deal you have just closed. I was dressed in white velvet dress which you had given me; we ride in your brand new car…hmn I felt I am like a princess in fairy tales…specially when with a real handsome and gentlemen who has resemblance with Prince Charming. As you look at me while I’m getting down from stairs, you seem to be so amazed, you’re are full of admiration, you’re eyes told me that I am beautiful tonight … You were so mysterious that night it seems you’re overwhelmed with too much excitement. I was so excited, but as we go along our way, I become more tense and nervous. I didn’t know but I felt something that will really surprised me. We laugh and forget the tension, as you hold my hand I found complete peace and real joy in my heart. You’re everything I’ve been dreaming of, a gorgeous, loving, sweet, caring, responsible, intelligent, faithful and obedient to God person. You’re the right man I’ve waited all my life. I am very blessed to be loved by you, I shall not ask for anything more. You’re love is more than enough.
As the car stop as was amazed with that beautiful place, it looks like a real palace. To my surprise our favorite song is playing as we walk along the aisle.

The gift
winter snow is falling downchildren laughing all around.
lights are turnin onlike a fairy tale come true
sittn by the fire we made your the answer when i prayed
i will find someone and baby i found you
Chorus all i want is to hold you forever
all i need is you more everyday
you saved my heartfrom bein broken apart
you gave your love awayand im thankful everydayfor the gift
watching as you softly sleep what id give if i could keep just this moment
if only time stood still but the colors fade away and the years will make us gray
but baby in my eyes youll still be beautiful...

The kids who welcomed us offers me pink roses (my favorite) while others shower us with pink flowerets . I was so enchanted, aside from few little girls, waiters and musicians there are no other guest. So I wonder are we that early or late, why were left alone? But you just smiled at me and whispers to my ears “ We’re all alone because this night is specially for the two of us.” He held my hand gently and led me to the dance floor, “I’ve finally found some one “, the song we are dancing… I can’t help but tears fell down my eyes. He gently wiped it and hold me closer. I can feel his heart beat close to mine. The cool breeze from the sea shore refreshes me, it was like a dream come true, a wish granted, a hope fulfilled an answered prayer. He looked at me sincerely and kissed me tenderly.

He removed his arms wrapped around me, I tried to stop him but he insists. He just get a small pouch in his pocket, what was that? “ I thought he’s gonna entertain a call or text at this very special moment” so with that I was a little irritated. But to my surprise he gently hold my hand and let me to the front he held a microphone and whispers these words “ you’re the girl I Love and will love forever, I believe that you are the God’s will and destined to be with me for life time, Will you be my wife? “while holding a diamond ring with his hand. I was so astonished and I can’t help but cry, I just nod and say "yes I’m more than willing to be your better half".
All of a sudden a loud applause covers the entire place, our friends, family and relatives were at the balcony of the resort, they witnessed these most wonderful and unforgettable event in our lives.

FIANCE - A man to whom a woman is engaged to be married
Note: to be continued to the wedding day…
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Who’s gonna be My (fiance) prince? He’s still on the lose… maybe on his way journeying towards finding me… wake me up inside and save me… bring me back to life…

To be...

To be with God in heaven…

To be superman/superwoman, hero/heroine…

To be able to travel around the world…

To be beautiful, intelligent, talented…
To be free, peaceful, happy and healthy…
To be loving, sweet, kind, caring, thoughtful, responsible…
To be the best in everything I do, be successful and productive…

To be loved by you…
To be with the one you loved forever…
To be with favorite/idol and loveones…
To be blessed with endless love and happy family …
To be married with the one you loved and have beautiful, intelligent and loving children...

To be rich, famous and powerful…
To be king, queen, president, prince, princess…
To be an artist, actor/actress, singer, dancer, model,VJ,Dj…
To be a broadcaster,reporter, pilot, stewardess, business, programmer, manager, politician…
To be a doctor, lawyer, teacher, engineer, architect, scientist,nurse, adventurer, voyager, soldier…

The Impossible Dream Performed by Glen Campbell

To dream the impossible dream

To fight the unbeatable foe

To bear with unbearable sorrow

To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong

To be better far than you are

To try when your arms are too weary

To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest to follow that star

No matter how hopeless, no matter how far

To fight for a right Without question or pause

To be willing to march into hell For a heavenly cause And I know, if I'll only be true

To this glorious quest That my heart will lie peaceful and calm

When I'm laid to my rest And the world will be better for this

That one man scorned and covered with scars Still strove with his last ounce of courage

To reach the unreachable star
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Dreams may come true… dreams may fail…Its free to dream…there’s no harm dreami’n…Dream high…dream far…keep working hard reaching for your dreams…
“Try and try until you succeed” why not? “Dream, believe, Survive!” “There’s a miracle when you believe” It may be hopeless it may be impossible but hold on to your dreams it will keep you going…Nobody wins without trying, there’s no easy way success requires patience, hard work, perseverance, endurance, strong will power, determination, discipline, prayers and faith in God!

LeBiRaM

MODEST –unpretentious, unassuming, pure, virtuous, demure, simple
Artistic – showing skills and excellence in execution, sensitive, creative
Radiant – shining bright with joy, hope and love, brilliant
Impassion –filled with passion, passionate
Brave – courageous, bold, daring, fearless
Éndurance - the ability to withstand hardship or adversity, prolonged stressful activity
Loving – affectionate, devoted, caring, tender, adoring, warm, fond
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few words that can define and contrast my being human...

best man

No one else can replace you in my heart. You’re the most handsome man I ever knew, the kindest, the most hardworking, patient, responsible, loving, caring, sweet, thoughtful, faithful, simply beyond compare. You’re wisdom is admirable, you’re perseverance is amazing, you’re love is endless, you’re sacrifices is incomparable, you’re faith in God is desirable. You’ve tried to give me everything that I need; you help and support me in everything I do. You made me a better person – stronger, determined and a little successful. You’re my inspiration, you’re dreams and endeavors are mine too.
You never leave me, no matter what! You were there for me through thick and thin, ups and downs, in sickness or in health, in victory or failure, for richer or poorer. You’ve proven me that you’re LOVE IS TRUE against all odds. You’ve protected me and made me at peace because I know as long as you’re with me nothing can harm, ill be safe and sound.
Though you’re not perfect, you maybe poor and may not give me everything this world can offer. What matters most is you’re love, it’s more than enough. No words can satisfy how thankful and grateful I’ am having you around. I thank God for you’re the best blessing I got.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Thank you very much to the highest power! I’ll always be proud of You!

Ama happy(2x) 51st birthday. Marianito B. Salazar – Dec.10. 1953
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I’ve inherit from him my being petite, thick and long eyebrow, skin and complexion, intelligence, strong will power, wise spender,determined, faithful, patient, sweet,loving, caring.
From an ordinary employee(roomboy) to farmer to construction worker now a small scale business man (he’s indeed successful, prayers were granted)!”Mana ako sayo!”

Monday, December 13, 2004

hope torture...

when someone loves you, you have to love him/her in return as much as he/she do! But if you cant… don’t ever give him/her a damn little hope. - (Excerpted from: Lovers in Paris)
Be straight forward, frank and say it right away (busted kung busted) “I’m sorry I don’t / can’t like you so don’t wast your time, money and effort, find someone else you deserve.If you have other nice way to express it do so.

I’d like to say sorry to those I’ve hurt and rejected…I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just want to be honest for your own good…I’m not giving you any chance to prove anything once I know and feel that you’re hopeless to get my heart and attention. At first time I met a person I can already discern and tell if I can possibly fall to that person. So if that’s negative…I’ll tell you right away maybe in harsh and painful way to prevent you form spending money, waste time and effort for nothing. That’s better isn’t it? At least all you can feel is “Bad trip…basted!” instead of “ badtrip talaga! Pinaasa lang ako…basted na nga…laki pa ng nagastos ko! Sayang lang!”
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girls and guys be thankful when you have admirers or suitors…it means you’re indeed beautiful, charming and attractive. treat them nicely and fairly…but be true …don’t give false hope…

Sunday, December 12, 2004

so be it...

Once upon a time… One afternoon we were called to evaluate in Math teaching demo. A very young fresh graduate genius looking guy versus an experienced old family man. The old man presented lots of visual aids and proceed with his lesson, we were not impressed! Here comes the young guy, just had a marker and start discussing “Differential Calculus” (if my memories were sharp!). I easily understand everything he’s talking about, what I don’t understand is that I have this weird feeling that this guy will be closely a part of my life. Of course I didn’t entertain the thought because during that time I was very much inlove with my Mahal; Im very much faithful to him, (once I loved someone, my attention, my heart is completely dedicated only for him, he’s the only apple of my eyes!).
Later the coordinator asked “How was that?”, everybody said their piece, my turn “ I was impressed by the young guy, he discussed clearly & spontaneously! He was promising!” Everybody agreed. He’s hired!Well aside from your charm and good presentation, give me a little credit for that very nice comment that helped!
On the first week of class, I was sitting in a classroom were he held his class. It was brownout then, so he took off his polo and wear white shirt…I listened to him and observed him…(he he! Napagtripan ko sya!) since then he doesn’t attend to that class and switched with another instructor.
It just happened that were having problems( me & mahal), one night he just came asking my numbers, since then we became text mates. Just like in fairy tales he came into my life like a knight in a shining armor to save a drowning Princess (me); I’ve broke up with mahal, I might have died if you were not there for me! (grabe! Exagged yon ha! Di naman!) But sometimes I would like to blame him, maybe he wished and hope that ill be available, so it was granted.
Since then we start getting closer… one valentines day I’ve asked him to go with me on the mall…(dapat ako manlilibre, nagpakagentleman nanlibre!).
Kilig moments…
It was a short romantic and cold night when we first taste each other in a sweet surrender. (he he! what a statement!) I mean that night we were together it was cold because were at Volets swimming pool, sweet surrender means we got to know each other very well, we became closer and intimate as friends…(Though inlove yata sya sakin non! Di ba?)
I missed him playing guitar and singing the songs he dedicated to me :

is it ok if i call u mine?
just for a time
and i will be just fine
if i know that you know
that i'm wanting, needing your love, oh
if i ask of you, is it alright?
if i ask you to hold me tight
through a cold dark night,
cause there maybe a cloudy day in sight
and i need to let you know
that i might be needing you love,oh
and what im trying to say isn't really new...
it's just the things that happen to me
when im reminded of you
like when i hear your name
or see a place that you've been
or see a picture of your grin
or pass a house that you've been in
one time or another
it sets of something in me
i cant explain
oh, i cant wait to see you again
oh babe i love your love, oh

Halaga
Umiiyak ka na naman
Langya talaga , wala ka bang ibang alam
Namumugtong mga mata
Kailan pa ba kaya ikaw magsasawa
II. Sa problema na iyong pinapasan
Hatid sayo ng boyfriend mong hindi mo maintindihan
May kwento kang pandrama na naman
III.Parang pang TV na walang katapusan
Hanggang kailan ka bang ganyan
Hindi mo ba alam na walang pupuntahan
Ang pagtiyaga mo dyan sa boyfriend mong tanga
Na wala nang ginagawa kundi ang paluhain ka

Chorus:
Sa libu-libong pagkakataon na tayoy nag-kasama
Iilang ulit palang kitang makitang masaya
Naiinis akong isipin na ginaganyan ka nya
Siguro ay hindi niya lang alam ang iyong
Tunay na halaga

IV. Hindi na dapat pag-usapan pa
Nagpapagod na rin ako sa aking kakasalita
Hindi ka rin naman nakikinig
Kahit sobrang pagod na ang aking bibig
V. Sa mga payo kong di mo pinapansin
Akala mo’y nakikinig di rin naman tatanggapin
Ayoko nang isipin pa
Di ko alam ba’t di mo makayanan na iwanan sya
VI. Ang dami-dami naman diyang iba
Wag kang mangangambang baka wala ka nang ibang Makita
Na lalake na magmahal sayo
At hinding hindi nya sasayangin ang pag-ibig mo
VII. Minsan hindi ko maintindihan
Parang ang buhay natin ay napagti-tripan
Medyo Malabo yata ang mundo
Binabasura ng iba ang siya’y pinapangarap ko

Suntok sa buwan
Hindi ko 'to gusto
Pero 'wag kang lalayo

Itanong mo sa akin
At tatanungin ko rin
Kung ika'y aamin
Lahat ay gagawin

'Di mo napapansin
Kailangan mo akong dinggin
'Di habang buhay ika'y aantayin

Ito'y aking hiling
At sana naman ay tanggapin
Ng puso ko'y 'di nabibitin

Hindi ko 'to gusto
Pero 'wag kang lalayo

Itanong mo sa akin
At tatanungin ko rin
Kung ika'y aamin
Lahat ay gagawin
Thanks for being there for me, that was wonderful memory. You have chased my blues away, wiped my tears and made me smile again.
We were getting closer they sometimes called it MU – “mutual understanding”, “mis understanding” ,“ malabong usapan” but some events that occurs changes the situation…he placed my name at no.1 it means that it is the most special person for him, but when we’re going to Ternate for a summer escapade…the name in no.1 slot changes, her ex comeback ! Tears fell down my eyes…maybe then I realized he wasn’t true, that happened twice… since then I believed that we were just friends. I recall he said “ Di ako magmahal na lubos, kundi sa magiging misis ko lang!”.
He has transferred to another job, likes some girls he’s with. One night he visit me, I told him “You’re just pretending…I mean he was not true to me” since then we were not like before …no more regular text or call ,no visit…
Well actually until now I am not sure if he really fell in love with me…although he said so, I felt it in some ways and He made me feel special sometimes…Maybe it was not enough, the time was short and I am overwhelmed with my broken heart , he gave up easily and we were set apart by situations and events that occurs next…

It is not an accident meeting you…Everything that occurs and people that come our way is providential. Maybe its Gods plan, I thank God for letting me know a guy next door, one of the nicest, brightest guy in town!(uy naniwala, joke lang no!) you know me, being “bolera” and pacute, but u know when I’m with you I doesn’t have to pretend , I just be my self because you accepted and like me for what I am, you’re already impressed with me so I don’t need to exert effort to change, I don’t have to beautify my self coz for you I’m beautiful ( he he!).
I will not repeat the used lines (na gasgas na gasgas na) like “ I’ll be here for you” etc.; (eto ang
Bago, orig ko to ha!) if ever you run out of girls and I’m still around,”we can give it a try!”; joke! You know jokes are halfly meant! (he he ! joke ule!)
I deserve a treat, I need to be very inspired to make this extra special for you,that’s why I took so long to publish it!
Whats nice with the story of us...till now "our friedship remains"...there were no regrets...no hard feelings...
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when people gone separate ways without explaining, talking, and understading each other...the next step was move on...forget ...let go...maybe it was really not meant to be...so be it...

Friday, December 10, 2004

tension... pressure... stress...

...tensed when facing challenges...especially when I am MIT student, that needs to comply with my requirements, projects and to face the panelist for project defense.(naku di ko pa tapos proposal, actually di ko kc ginagawa...i need ur F1 i mean help!)HELP!HELP!HELP!PLEASE!

... pressured when people keep on asking "When are you getting married? " , "Why you're not yet getting married? ","You're not getting any younger!", "Look your contemporaries got married and had children and yet your still single?" -sa totoo lang naiinis na ako ha why hurry? i wanna take my time to enjoy life and marry the right person ( Gods will 4 me) at the right time. i am just on my 20's, im still very young...di pa me matanda no! sila lng talaga ang magang nagasawa!may mga suitors me and admirers... i have nothing to worry about...i am not yet running out time! pwede ba stop me!!!

...stressed with makukulit na mga batang kasama ko araw araw! bata pa sila pero sobrang makakalimutin, unattentive at masyadong bz sa maraming bagay tulad ng games, texting, chatting, chikahan, boys,girls etc, kesa magaral!it seems they doesnt want to grow and learn...99% ay di seryoso sa pagaaral.Even teachers wanted to transfer the learning but if the learners were not interested, not willing and not capable to learn nothing will happen. They will just end up empty, wasted time and money! the future lies on you... please be productive students!
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if i will mind these tensions, pressures and stress i will just get old...my response must be deadma...care ko!

Thursday, December 09, 2004

BLUE CHRISTMAS

Blue means sadness, it conveys pain, broken heart, being alone and hurt, and loneliness.

Christmas is supposed to be joyful and fun but …

Why your Christmas be blue?
…Loveless kc eh, we’ve just broke up!
…Walang Pera!
…Walang Gimik, boring!
…Maliit na 13th month pay
…Basted na naman! Palagi na lang!

To Liezel a 4 year old, physically and mentally disable losing a father makes Christmas the bluest season. I can feel the grief of Liezel and her family because they have lost their father in a very tragic and painful way (last march 2004), which I don’t want to restate the entire story because it just bring back so much pain. I was very much affected because they were my family too, her father was my uncle the youngest brother of my father. He was a very good,loving and responsible father to her family and to the whole barangay of Kaysuyo, Alfonso, Cavite which he served as Brgy. Captain. At the very young age of 42, He died while doing his duties.

Loida, Liezel’s oldest sister is working hard and decided not to have a boyfriend yet since she is badly needed by her family. Lorden, her older brother is selling banana Q and fritter after school and during Saturdays and Sundays. Ate Hilda, their mother who’s very thin and skinny was taking care of the piggery and the field which was their main source of income.

They were admirable for being strong, courageous and united facing this most unexpected circumstances and darkest moment of their life.

I think I can do something to delight Liezel and her family, at least to lighten and brighten this season. I think she needs milk, clothes and food.
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If someone needs your little attention, or help… if your willing and able do it now…

Kuripot

Ikaw na ang manggaling sa buhay na isang kahig isang tuka…it means buhay mahirap, ang perang kinita ay halos pangtawid gutom lang, minsan kulang pa. That life I’ve been thru made me realized how relevant every single centavo, I work hard and I see to it that I will spend every single centavo that I earned only for valuable and useful spending, when it is a necessity it means you’ll die without it - like food, shelter, water well that’s worth spending, but if it is only luxury or want anything you don’t really need, you can survive without it like – expensive clothes, accessories, gimmicks, beauty cosmetics etc well that’s made me kuripot because I don’t want to waste money with unnecessary things. Yes of course clothing, food and education are also important but I mean do not spend so much for expensive food or clothing. I’m not really kuripot but a wise spender!
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Life is getting harder everybody must be wise spender. Know your spending priorities and save for your future…

Boarding House

1996 when we met, freshmen students of Philippine Christian University (PCU). My mother first met Rhona G. Paiton, then we were introduced and she convince me to join them together with her cousin (Lhiza Paiton) and friend (Juliet Quitangon), since I am alone and she was very nice I decided to join them. The boarding house needs 6 bed spacers in a room, so Wiwy Ferma and her cousin Malen joined us.

Being with them, I cannot forget, we have started and created a real friendship. Me(Mabelle), Rhonz, Lhiza, Wiwy and Juliet. Then our first day of classes, we met our new classmate Lhea Maliwanag, we became very close and she started going with us and even eating, sleeping and sometimes staying in our boarding haws.

At school it was me, rhonz, julez,lhey and with some others ilan, marianne etc, were all Bachelor of Science in Computer Science (BSCS) students. I have called them their new names I was good at giving new alias or nick, I felt that I am closer to them.

Lhiz also have met new friends and classmate they were Bachelor of Science in Accounting (BSA) students – Avhic, Mitch, Pepot (I can still recall and know some of them, I forgot the others). Lhiz was very simple, yet very clever, very studios, quiet but funny sometimes. She has one great love Jhon Ilano (which sometimes I regret that I am the one who match them for a date). Jhon was playboy, but surprisingly he become so inlove with Lhiz that he married her after I think 4 years of on and off relationship. Their love story was full of action, dramatic and suspense but now finally they just have their first born ( John Carl Ilano) ,I am happy to be one of his god mother. (naku marami na me utang kay Carl!).

Whie (WIWY means Wishing It Was You- favorite song of her parents), also met her new friends and classmate in Bachelor of Science in Business Administration – Leo, Edsel, Marsha, Noemi ( I forgot the others, I known them because they too loiter in the boarding house). They were loveteams, while whie has suitors from other courses, but later on Edsel broke up with Noemi and court Whie, so he receive a “NO” from my good girl friend because she just don’t like him and He’s the ex of her still hurting friend.Whie was fun loving, very straight , jolly, funny, genius, stylish and friendly but sometimes snob. She now have her 3 years younger boyfriend, I wish the best for them.

Rhonz very sweet, loving, helpful, friendly, thoughtful,oozing with sex appeal, pretty chinita eyes, most of the time beauty conscious, studious, hardworking, very organize and very good in cleaning the house. My mother really loves her because of her kindness, thoughtfulness and sweetness, same as everybody liked about her. This girl is somewhat naughty and playful. But Congratulations because she has found her True Love and destiny LESTER, they just got married last Nov. 14, 2004, unfortunately we were not chosen to become secondary sponsors but still we love to her wedding day. I just come late because I can’t leave the church, so I was not able to see the beautiful bride and her wedding banquet, but me, inay, ama and my nephew tontoy we ate a lot, we even had a take home from her nanay and ate whena.

Jhulez was very mysterious, unpredictable, kind, jolly but moody, sexy, beautiful, charming, friendly, clever but vulnerable, sometimes lazy. She was very mysterious that we were not able to know what really in her heart and mind. I doesn’t know what happened to her, she was not able to graduate with us, because she doesn’t complete the subjects. I have no more news about her, I just heard that she was not able to work and she’s just planning to work abroad.

Lhea was very hardworking, very patient, very strong, independent, intelligent, determined, loving, caring, faithful, serious, committed, very dedicated a real great woman. I know she, being the oldest among 2 other sister, carry the burden with her mother the duties and responsibilities of her father who left them on their young age( shes high school then). She has developed that superwoman ability due to the life situation she grew up with. She’s a scholar and yet she continued to work to provide and support herself and her family while studying. God knows her hard work, (I’m very proud of her) she’s now in Korea although she’s working as a factory worker there even she’s a BSCS degree holder, she’s earning much more than any other executive in the Phils., finally with God’s love and blessings she had given her family a better life. She’s going to get married soon…(Sana abay ako ha! Khit pa Pagsanjan Laguna yan… go me!)

Belle well that’s me, hmnn… I think they shall be the one … to say something about me!
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i miss you all, our happy, crazy, sad and victorious times together! every moments we shared , i will treasure for lifetime. You are indeed my great, real bestfriends!

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Wanted Perfect Girl

Wanted Perfect Girl

To be a girl of men’s dream… an ideal girl…you must be …

Beautiful means exciting sensuous or aesthetic pleasure, applies to whatever excites the keenest of pleasure to the senses and stirs emotion through the senses. Usually it pertains to physical look - must be pleasing, desirable, admirable, attractive and seductive. Which requires soft, healthy & fair skin, shiny and soft hair, cute and red lips, pointed nose, tantalizing eyes, tall and sexy body - must have a well rounded breast, well proportioned legs, finger like candle etc.

Loving means being compassionate and devoted. You must show your complete attention and devoted time and effort concerning the one you desired or loved.

Sweet means winning, winsome, charming and pleasing. Be romantic, close and intimate.

Caring is to feel interest or concerned, to have a liking, fondness. You must be willing to like everything about him and his interest, accept and support his endeavors and dreams. Be her nanny or mother replacement if needed.

Talented means having the natural endowments of a person, a special often creative or artistic aptitude, general intelligence or mental power. You must possess multiple intelligence such as dancing gracefully, singing nicely, drawing neatly, writing artistically, designing creatively, speaking with sense and dignity, work productive and intelligently.

Different being simply beyond compare…Possessing desirable traits and attitude seems to overwhelm others. Girls are known to be weak and vulnerable, being the reverse “ stronger , better and capable “ girl is much interesting and exciting.

Oh men! It’s so hard to be ideal to you…it seems you’re looking for a perfect super woman. I may not be that perfect super woman but I hope you can get to know me… thats the time when you can finally say I am not the girl you Need!

Monday, December 06, 2004

Pay it forward

Think of an idea on how you can change the world (try mo lang!) – And do it in action! Your idea must be “SMART “ S-pecific, M-easurable, A-ttainable, R-ealistic, T-imebounded. You must be able to execute it, It must be possible and can be done in a period of time.

A very perfect idea, was started by a 12 year old boy for his assignment in Social studies, He called it “Pay it forward”. A pyramid of helping others, starting from himself he will help 3 persons, and those 3 persons must help at least 3 other people too and they must do the same as well. Note the help must be something big that he/she cannot do or solve alone.

So I will try to do this idea, I am a teacher an educator, so I am concerned with children, students. I happened to be a poor girl during my grade school (naks drama to!), I experienced to borrow pencil or beg for a piece of paper from my rich class mates, simply because my parents have no money to buy me a new pencil or paper, sometimes I just patiently used my one inch pencil (grabe msakit sa kamay ang sobrang maliit na lapis). And it was sad for a child like me not to have the basic needs of a student and I felt hurt but of course I understand we are poor and we have to bear with that inconvenience. During that time I can consider our family a part of the Poverty line in the Phils. But It doesn’t discourage me, instead I become super determined to study very hard so that I, my self can get over poverty. I saw the heart, the will, the sacrifices, the hardwork and the dreams of my parents specially my father (ama). They wanted us to be successful so that inspired me, motivates me and drives me to do my best in everything I do. (Nyeh …huh u! nagkwento na…) So long for my story…

What I’m trying to say is I would like to help needy students, by sharing the blessing I got from the Lord, by at least providing the basic needs for school so that they will be happy while studying. You know children, their happiness is simply getting gifts, new little things. So this year 2005, I’m going to help at least 3 bright children. So through them I can transfer the goodness of the Lord as well as the heart of helping children.

Note: I will not do it to become a heroine or to be a politician but to fulfill my life’s purpose to be a blessing to others that’s how I can share Gods love.

Upnext the actual event of executing the noble plan…

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