| CAR BANNERS Earth First! (We'll log the other planets later) I considered atheism, but there weren't enough holidays. Hello Texas. I'm gay and I'm here to take your guns Hail to the Sun God, He sure is a fun god, Ra, Ra, Ra! Give me some of that old time religion - Hail Zeus! Sorry I missed church. I was busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian. Jesus Is Coming......look busy Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo You're just jealous cos all the voices are talking to me Heck is a place for people who don't believe in Gosh Ankh if you love Isis! That was Zen - this is Tao Life's a witch and then you fly |
| LIGHTBULB JOKES How many Dianics does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, and that's NOT FUNNY How many family traditionalists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, candlelight was good enough for Gramma and it's good enough for me. How many Gardnerians does it take to change a lightbulb? Can't tell you, it's oathbound How many Alexandrians does it take to change a lightbulb? Um..er....what did the Gardnerians say? How many Pagans does it take to change a lightbulb? Six - one to change the bulb and five to complain that lightbulbs didn't burn out until those darned Christians came along. How many Buckland witches does it take to change a lightbulb? Please refer to my new book "Practical Lightbulb Changing" |
| WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD.......PAGAN STYLE Celtic In County Feedbeygohn on Midsummer's day, there is still practiced St. Henny's Dance, which is a survival of the old pagan Chicken Crossing fertility rite. Today, modern pagans are reviving the practice, dedicated to the Hen and the Green Rooster. Dianic The chykyn ("chicken" is term of patriarchal oppression) sought to reclaim for herself the right to be on the other side of the road, after it had been denied to her for centuries. By doing so, she reawakened the power of the Hen within herself. Druid To get to the sacred grove, of course! Keep in mind that 99% of everything written about chickens-crossing-the-road is pure hogwash, based on biased sources. Yes, there were a few unfortunate chicken sacrifices in the past, but that is over now... Eclectic Because it seemed right to her at the time. She used some Egyptian style corn and a Celtic sounding word for the road and incorporated some Native American elements into her Corn-name, Chicken-Who-Dances-and-Runs-with-the-Wolves. Newbie Well, 'cause I read in this really kewl book that said, like, chickens are supposed to cross the road, right? Posting on an Online Discussion Group What do you mean <> ???!!!??? Haven't you read **any** of the previous posts? We've been [expletive deleted] debating every word of that question, painstakingly trying to come to some kind of answer. I know you wrote <was why chickens cross the road, I'm not looking for any chicken spells>> but I'm fed up with newbies who can't even bother to REEEEEEEEAAADDD the posts on that very topic! No, this is *not* a flame. But, I and several others here have the *maturity* to properly explore and respond to this question, and we were properly trained; we *didn't* just read a book and think we were full-fledged chickens. much better after ranting> Family Traditional Growing up, we didn't think much about "crossing the road." A chicken was a chicken. It crossed the road because that was what worked to get her to the other side. We focused on what worked, and we worked more with the elders of the barnyard and less with all this "guardians of the chickencoop" business. We didn't get our concepts of "chickens" or "the other side" from Gardner, either. You can choose not to believe us since we did not "scratch down" on paper what was clucked to us orally (which, at certain times in history, was the only way to avoid becoming Easter chicken soup!), but that doesn't change the facts: there *were* real chickens, and they *really did* cross the road! Alexandrian/Gardnerian To reveal this would be to break my oath of secrecy. I can say, though, that it *really* is an ancient rite, dating far back in time, back even before 1951, and I have learned it from an unbroken lineage. As Gerald said, it takes a chicken to make an egg. British Traditional The word "chicken" comes from a very specific Old English word ("gechekken"), and it only properly applies to certain fowl of East Anglia or those descended therefrom. As for the rest, I suppose they are doing something remotely similar to crossing the road, but you must remember that traditional roads are not to be confused with the modern roads.... Snert Hey, are you guys really chickens? Can you give me a spell that will make a chicken cross the road? Wiccan The chicken crossed the road because she felt like she was finally "coming home." She could do it alone or with others, but she had to call to the Guardians of the Watchtowers of the Barnyard first ... uhm, after casting the circle. |
| YOU MIGHT BE PAGAN IF......... When you're sworn in in court, you bring your own grimoire You've been seen talking to cats. They talk back. You understand what they're saying. When asked if you believe in God, you ask, "Which one?" You know what "widdershins" means. You apply it. You have a frequent buyer card at the local antique bookstore. The proprietor of said bookstore picks out anything to do with the Celts and saves it for you. You know that there are exceptions to the laws of physics. You've caused them. The first thing your guests say is, "My, that's a nice... altar ... you have there." On Halloween, you yell "Happy New Year!" at passers-by. You know that Christmas trees were originally pagan symbols. That's why you bought one. You have friends who say they are elves. You believe them. You commit blasphemy in the plural. Upon dying, your first thought is, "Darn it, not AGAIN." When you say "Mother Nature," you don't mean it in an anthropomorphic way. You know that there is a right way and a wrong way to draw a pentacle. You can explain the difference. You've spent the last year and a half looking for a familiar. You talk to trees. They talk back. You know dragons and fae exist. You've seen them. Painting yourself blue, spiking your hair, and dancing naked around a bonfire sounds like large amounts of fun. You've seen "The Craft". You know where they were making stuff up in "The Craft". You have explained this to other people. You can do it better than they did it in "The Craft". You know it's a load of crap. You understand the symbolism behind a maypole. You've ever ended a phone call with "so mote it be." You think that "Scott Cunningham" is a household name... You feel that there is no such thing as having too many cats... The emergency calls you get at work are your teenagers wanting to know the whereabouts of the extra candles, incense or other misc. ritual items. Someone asks you what you are doing wandering around in the woods wearing a robe, and you answer cheerfully: "Going to church!" Your children go around telling people that "the Goddess loves you." You're reading this list. You understand what it's talking about. |
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| If there's one thing Pagans have in abundance, it's the ability to not take ourselves - and others - too seriously. Here's a selection of popular Pagan jokes. If you are Pagan, these are about every path, so don't be offended if yours is included. If you're not Pagan, remember that this site insists on promoting religious tolerance and equality. Please don't get offended if we poke fun at you as well as ourselves! |
