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Tila Vs. Gila/Reign Of The Iron Tyrants

In which our heroes travel to the dimension of the evil Iron Tyrants, and Max is mind-controlled into killing his girlfriend Khyrisse...

“I’ve been PINGED!”

-- Khyrisse

“I AM DEAD! I AM SO DEAD!!”

“I AM SORRY! I AM SO SORRY!!”

-- Khyrisse and Max

“She was Stoneskinned right before she died.”

“That sounds kind of redundant...”

-- the Dougmaster and Luthien

“Why is he laughing?”

“He’s going into hysterics.”

-- Janther and Rhynwa

“I’m DEAD!”

“You’ll get BETTER!!”

-- Khyrisse and Luthien

“Don’t worry, Max. If we can’t get her back, you can go join her!”

“Oh, yeah, get him SUICIDAL now!!”

-- Rhynwa and Luthien

THE BUTTERFLY HAS LANDED.”

-- Luthien, announcing Khyri's resurrection

“I’m sorry...”

“DON’T touch me!”

-- Max and a still-miffed Khyrisse

“No, it’s his natural alignment.”

“After she defiled her, we REFILED her.”

“We refiled her under ‘D’ for ‘Dead’.”

-- Luthien and Tila

“ ‘I’m not really back-stabbing you, I’m looking for the ladies’ room!’ ”

-- Janther inventing excuses for Tila

“He’s going to suck my brain!”

-- Tila

“Just wait. The gods collect taxes, too.”

“And you should see the tax on bad karma.”

-- Luthien and Rhynwa

“Stop playing with your rope in times of trouble!”

-- Luthien to Palmer

“Yeah, it’s okay! I’m still standing!”

-- Janther, after taking some stupid amount of damage

“I got a one.”

“I got a rock.”

-- Max and Khyrisse

“It’s an equal opportunity twelve.”

-- Max

“The resistance is too high, the capacitance is too low... and it would be silly.”

-- Rhynwa

“Perfect unconsciousness. See how relaxing perfection can be?”

-- Luthien

“I sure hope he doesn’t meet up with a MIME flayer.”

“No thanks. I have enough problems with God as it is.”

-- Rhynwa

“ 'This is your brain. This is your brain on psionics.' ”

-- Palmer

“I plan on getting a new proficiency. ‘Quantum Mechanics’.”

-- Luthien

“WHAT WOULD MAGNATE GIVE FOR THIS?”

-- Luthien

“I LIKE a lot of light. Light is my FRIEND. Light is NOT HIS friend.”

-- Luthien

“My sheepie friends!”

-- the Sheepherder

“In the religion of Arawn, we create life the old-fashioned way. WE GET LAID.”

-- Schneider

“ 'Arawn has left the building!' ”

“DO NOT PASS GO, GO DIRECTLY TO LAWFUL EVIL.”

-- Max

“ ‘Dispel Palmer’! MAKE HIM GO AWAY!!”

-- Max

“Palmer-- SHUTTHEFUCKUP.”

-- Luthien

“Even better, a cyclops!”

“PRIVATE EYE!”

-- Max and Janther

“Why are you attacking my-- GOOD MOVE!”

-- Palmer

“Palmer, kill.”

-- Luthien

“I’m down to my maximum. AFTER TAKING DAMAGE!”

-- Luthien

“Can I sheep them in this field?”

-- the Sheepherder

(Quotes from Jonah Cohen's notes... forgive the Schneidercentricity. :-)