In which our heroes had a humungous, session-long fight with Signet, the New Significants, and Elvis the Air Elemental...
"Kris is staring down Alyssa, Alyssa is staring down Kris, and Evan is staring down her shirt!"
-- the Evil, EEEEEVIL Dougmaster (who made Kris lose)
"NO! I just want to kill him! Then I'll be fine!!"
-- Rhynwa
"The Sword of Speed Beyond Speed!"
"The sword is on drugs?"
" 'This is your sword. This is your sword on drugs.' "
"And this is your sword on drugs with a side of bacon."
-- the Dougmaster, Palmer, Schneider, and Tila
"Where is it all going to end? All this senseless killing... WHY AM I SAYING THIS???"
-- Luthien
"This is looking seriously perturbing."
"LIGHTEN UP, DAMMIT!"
-- Schneider and Luthien (!)
"Doug, Rhynwa has NO Elvis in her. She is ELVIS-RESISTANT."
-- Rhynwa
"You might want to take up shorthand, Kris."
-- the Dougmaster (ha ha big funny!)
"You've been agenticized!"
-- Max
"Excuse me, son. What ARE you tryin' to do here?"
"I'M ATTEMPTING TO KILL YOU."
-- Elvis and Max (!)
"They're tough, warrior-type feebs."
"RHYN! It's your big chance!"
"Well, you've already fucked half of it up."
-- the Dougmaster and Rhynwa
"Let's stick him to a refrigerator!"
-- Max (re Signet's attraction for metal)
"Why did you people hang OUT with this feeb???"
-- Tila
"SAVE VS. MOLTEN SLAG!!"
-- Max
"Elvis' Greatest Hits, Volume Two."
-- Max
"Just don't let Elvis get the HARP!!!"
-- Schneider
" 'I think I'll paint outer space... black...' "
-- Luthien
"He thinks he's a SCUD missile."
"No, SCOTT thinks he's a PATRIOT!!"
"Thus proven that Elvis is just a giant windbag!"
-- Max
"Elvis could have a spell like, 'Incite Nausea'!"
"No, 'Incite DRUG OVERDOSE'."
"You mean, he thinks he's FUNNY again."
-- Luthien
"That's the WEATHER REPORT!"
--Laura, re the combat map that Alyssa kept drawing gusts of wind on
" 'Maxwell is blowing in the wind...' Mabye I SHOULD become a bard."
-- Luthien
"Tila decides she's going to be a NUN. As long as she's not getting any, she might as well have cool spells."
-- Tila
"You take six points of punning damage from Max."
-- Luthien
"Max, I'm going to have to teach you how to LIE."
-- Luthien
"Too bad it was a PSIONIC petrification and not a GAZE attack!"
-- Janther
"Max?"
"SHUT UP."
-- the Dougmaster and Max
"Palmer, when I'm done with this fight, I'm going to hit you a lot."
-- Luthien
"I defer. For reasons of death."
-- Max
"Are you dead?"
"Yeah, quite!!"
-- Rhynwa and Schneider
"I think we're outmatched."
"But never outclassed!"
-- Rhynwa and Luthien
"HIT him! HIT HIM NOW!!"
-- Rhynwa
"They're having a revolution, and I'M a ROCK!!"
--Janther, petrified
"I'm a polyphiliac!"
-- Tila
"It's our side! IT'S OUR SIDE!!"
--(here comes the cavalry!)
"Syndriannia! Turn me to flesh, BABY!!"
-- Janther (Cross off another Ti'Ar'Na candidate!)
"Here come the clerics!"
"I told you they'd be here."
-- Pluvius Sturoster
"You literally fucked the living daylights out of him!"
-- Tila (to Rhynwa re Luthien)
"Doug, this combat is getting ridiculous, start killing people!"
"NOT US!!!!"
-- Rhynwa and EVERYONE
"--considering the eight million fucking thieves we have?"
-- Rhynwa
"I love your addition of breasts to Rhynwa in this picture. They look like you fastened them on with Velcro!"
-- Laura
"Oh, my god, he fits all the qualifications, WHY AM I KILLING HIM?? He's big, he's male, and he's human!"
-- Tila
"Quell, do Quell things!"
-- Luthien
"Ill-advise THIS, bud."
-- Luthien
"Hey, don't pick your beam in public."
"It sounds like the title of a painting. 'Butterfly in Mud'."
-- Rhynwa
" 'ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!' "
"You've got a Signet on your head!"
"Play something Elvis would hate!"
"LAWRENCE WELK!"
"I think we're ALL at a -1..."
-- Schneider and someone
"NOT a prayer in hell."
"Thank you, Arawn. I don't know who you are, but thank you for saving my butt."
-- Tila
"Dispelvis!"
--Max
"MY kill!"
-- Rhynwa (re Signet)
"Go! Kill! I'll save your butt."
-- Rhynwa
"Will you at LEAST STAND STILL??!"
"--to defend she who would devour the world!"
"SHE'S NOT THAT HUNGRY!"
-- Leon Kim and Max
"I AM NO BOYCHIK."
-- Max
"JAVERT ATTACKS ELVIS!"
"YAAAAAY!!!!"
-- the Dougmaster and a lot of people who had been getting their butts kicked FAR too much
"I loot!"
-- Tila
"'This is Max outside the mansion of Duke St. Augustine! This is Max INSIDE the mansion of Duke St. Augustine! And this is Max being TRASHED by Duke St. Augustine!'"
-- Luthien, taking photographs
"Unconscious and IN THE WAY???"
-- Max
"Have I met you? I'm Signet the Sig--"
"I'LL CUT YOUR TONGUE OUT."
-- Signet and Luthien
“What’s red, black, and white, and goes round and round? Khyrisse in a blender!”
-- Max
"Does she know about Candi and Bambi?"
"Can you say, 'cat fight'?"
-- Signet and Max
(Quotes from Jonah Cohen's notes... forgive the Schneidercentricity. :-)
Apache songs
