So, you are feeling a little inadequate; all your friends drink Coca-Cola and you have yet to be convinced of its winning attributes. Worse, you have succumbed to the flashy-but-inferior cola with "Pep"...you have come to the right place. Once you have completed the tasks involved in Coca-Cola Conversion, you will be able to look your Coca-Cola-drinking friends straight in the eye and call yourself a Coca-Colite as well. The benefits are many; you'll no longer be ostracized for drinking lesser forms of Cola, you'll no longer have to spend outrageous amounts of money on said Cola to afford merchandise (more tools for their brainwashing scheme) from their pitiful little catologues. You'll feel more 'refreshed' and will be able to find your newly-favourite drink in many more restaurants (with free refills). Follow the steps below and remember this:

1. Do not consume any beverages for 1 day. You must be free of toxins.
   
2. Purchase several cans or bottles of Coca-Cola or Diet Coke (your preference) and leave them in a central location in your refrigerator. They must be given at least 2 days to achieve maximum refreshability through the chilling process. If you have bought a bottle, it is good to store a mug or glass in the freezer, the same as you would for beer.
   
3. Complete 2 hours of vigorous physical activity on the day of your conversion.
   
4. After achieving the first 3 steps, your body should be entering the hyperthirst stage. Stand in front of your refrigerator and open the door slowly. Focus on the chilled Coca-Cola waiting for you...calling to you. If you have a glass/mug chilling in the freezer, take it out and prep it with ice cubes. Pour yourself a tall, icey cold drink.
   
5. It is important to watch the carbonation leaping into the air joyously over your beverage...hold the glass under your chin to take part in the sensation.
   
6. Drink heartily...as though you've been stranded in the desert for many days. Feel the cool, refreshing taste of the Coca-Cola take hold of you. Feel the caffeine enter your nervous system and send you on a nice little buzz (unless you've selected Caffeine-free).
   

1. Rid your house of any products/advertisements/merchandise bearing the logos of any other cola products.
   
2. Visit the Coca-Cola webpage and leave a personal affirmation on their message board proclaiming your new-found love of Coca-Cola.
   
3. Purchase a case of 24 at your local grocer and fill your fridge with it so that you have a continous, chilled supply of Coca-Cola.
4. Refer anyone who doesn't love Coca-Cola (and its related products) to this page to complete your conversion.
   
   
   former Pepsi fans are now egging the local Pepsi bottling company (since Nov.23, 1997 counter installation date)
   

   © 1997

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