Jacob Matthew Poole
July 25, 1997-August 14, 1997
Jacob had a stressfull life in the short time he was with us. He was a fighter.
About a month before his due date, we found out that he was breech--straight (head)up & (feet)down. Dr. Goodman turned him using a method called "versions"(basically externally moving him around).
Mom was having contractions on Monday(7/21). On Thursday(7/24), they induced labor since labor wasn't progressing.
Jacob was born 1:27 AM, 7/25/97, by Caesarean section. He had turned breech again, this time transverse. There was no option of turning him back again...they found out about his position after breaking my water...he had to be born by C-section. He weighed 8 lbs./3 ozs & was 21 1/2" long.
They heard a heart murmur at birth so he spent his 1st day in the NICU at Good Samaritan Hospital(getting tests, etc.). About noon, the doctor(s) from Children's Hospital came in to tell us about his heart condition(s). He had Fallot's Tetralogy(basically 4 conditions in one). He had a hole between his 2 ventricles(the lower chambers of the heart), therefore some blood that hadn't gotten oxygen yet got circulated into his body. (Often when he cried very hard, he'd turn cyanotic(blue) due to that lack of oxygen.) They had to put him on oxygen for a while. Also, his pulmonary artery was dilated to 3 times the normal size, therefore he had to sleep on his stomach(sleeping on his back, that artery could press on the lungs & make it very difficult for him to breath). Also, he had a (basically)non-functional aortic valve--it didn't close at all...therefore there was blood backflowing into the heart(some of which was that deoxygenated blood). They told us they were going to transfer him to the NICU at Children's Hospital.
He stabilized & we went home Monday(7/28).
We enjoyed the few weeks we had with him. He was often awake & alert & seemed to respond to those who loved him. He seemed to take in everything around him with fervor. He loved Mommy's shoulder...he'd nuzzle into the neck to go to sleep(his favorite position). His bright eyes just twinkled when he was awake. He seemed to be doing better at not turning blue when he cried & he was gaining weight(this is significant, for some Tetralogy of Fallot patients have to work so hard at eating, since their heart's already working overtime, that they don't gain weight). As of August 7, 1997, he'd gained 9 ozs & 1/8".
On Thursday(8/14), about 7:30 PM, we took him to the emergency room at Children's Hospital. He'd been sleeping all day & we hadn't been able to wake him up to eat. We called the doctor(in the Cardiology Department of Children's Hospital), told him what was wrong & he told us to take Jacob to the emergency room, that someone from the Department would be there to take care of him. As we got in the car, Jacob starting getting worse & was spitting up something yellow(almost like bile). Mom held him(tummy down) all the way to the hospital, while Dad raced furiously(fortunately, Grampa Strong was there to help with Sarah). Upon arrival, he was limp...the nurse took him out of Mom's arms & rushed him back to a table yelling Code Blue. They worked over him for a long time...he was in full cardiac arrest. They were able to bring him back & stabilize him a little while. They took him back NICU, once he was stabilized enough to move. They wanted to get a "line" in him to get medication in him(they suspected a serious infection). They couldn't keep his blood pressure up enough to get that line in. He went into full cardiac arrest again(about 11:00 PM). We had been waiting to have him baptized(under threat of death) by a priest(Father Jack Hartzer, from Lawrenceburg, IN), who just happened to be there that night & was willing to wait for total strangers(we had no idea when we'd be able to go in). The chaplain(Paul Beckman) came out & told us to go in...it was urgent. Jacob was baptized while they were bringing him back from full cardiac arrest again. I'm so thankful that were able to be in there for that. After seeing him laid out on the table while they were working over him(bringing him back from full cardiac arrest the 2nd time), we know now that he's in peace and in no pain. He died primarily of sepsis(blood poisoning), secondarily of Tetralogy of Fallot.
He's now our own angel in Heaven.
Here are some poems that I like:
This one I was inspired to write
Jacob, I love you, you know that is true
Yet now I don't know how I'll ever get through
Life will go on, I know that it will
Yet I long to hold you and kiss your head still
I'll miss your sweet eyes as you gaze all around
And your manner of nuzzling is nowhere else found
Your cry will be missed--it's a part of my heart
Not seeing you grow, that's the hardest part
But I know that I'll see you--don't know when, don't know how
When united, I'll hold you--Jacob, that I vow
Til then, my little guy, enjoy our Lord's embrace
We'll both know His love and His wonderful grace
Know that I love you and will never forget
That my dear baby boy is a young angel yet
I love you, I miss you, I'll see you once more
In Heaven, my Jacob, when we meet at His door.
A SPECIAL LITTLE SPIRIT
"You're a Special Little Spirit, "the all great Master said,
As He gently carressed the curly dark hair of the Little Spirit's head
"You need to go to Earth to spend some time, you know"
A place I send most Spirits to be tested, to learn & grow"
the Little Spirit, in sadness, slowly bowed his head,
And from his eye a tear did steal & down his cheek it shed
"Don't you fret now little one, I won't let you stay too long,
I'll bring you back to help me here, you'll hardly know that you've been gone
You're my choicest Little Spirit, you're the apple of my eye."
And He wiped the tear & gently kissed His Little Spirit good bye.
"I'm back," the Little Spirit whispered, as he climbed onto his Master's knee
And the Master said, "I told you, you would not be long away from me."
And then, the Lord, He noticed still another tear welled in his eye.
"Why are you so sad, Little Spirit, whatever should make you cry?"
"I'm glad I'm back," the Spirit said, "but Master you must surely know
When your angel came to get me, I didn't want to go.
"I know you said you needed me & that I'd be gone the shortest while,
But Lord, couldn't I have had a little longer earthly trial?"
The Master let the Little Spirit slip down from off His knee,>br>
He firmly took the little hand & said, "Come walk with me."
The Little Spirit & his Lord walked slowly hand in hand.
As the Master explained his special part in the great & marvelous plan.
"Now Lord, I don't mean to argue, I understand that you needed me home
But I left in such a hurry, I left everyone hurting & so alone.
I didn't let my earthly parents know how much I loved them so.
I was much too small to tell them, Lord, how will they ever know?
They feel they've been cheated, & in a way, so do I
Not getting to share any more than we did, how can I ever tell them why?
"Little Spirit, I know your heart is heavy with this message you need to share.
But you need not worry anymore, I'll watch over your loved ones there
I'll send them loving comfort as a strong & helping hand
I'll content & give peace to their aching hearts so they will understand
The Little Spirit looked up at hi Master and said "Thank you for explaining it to me
And could you plese tell them I'm safe & happy & that someday they'll be here with me
"Yes", said the Lord with a smile & a nod, "I'll tell them all that I can"
Then the others came to see the Little Spirit, as the Lord let go of his hand.
He said, "I'll tell them you're pure, as pure as Heaven's Gold,
That I needed the warmth of your perfect soul to keep Heaven from getting cold."
God's Garden
God saw you getting tired
When a cures was not to be
So He wrapped His arms around you,
And whispered "Come to Me"
You didn't deserve what you went through
So He gave you rest
God's Garden must be beautiful
He only takes the best
And when I saw you sleeping
So peaceful & far from pain
I could not wish you back
To suffer that again.
Playland in Paradise
by Rebecca Anne Obregon
In loving memory of Hannah Marie Romens...& of all children, born & unborn, who've made only short visits here before bein called home to "play".
Where do small children soar on winged rocking horses, & play hopscotch from cloud to cloud?
Where do sweet babies sleep in great great grandfathers' arms, & never once make a tearful sound?
Where do adventurous toddlers explore without ever a fall, without ever a forbidding "no no",
Where nothing can hurt & nothing can break, and nothing's too high or "just for show".
Where picture-filled storybooks stand row upon row, with no shelves to straighten or dust,
And thousands of aunties & uncles & grandmas read endlessly, never impatient or rushed.
Where there're never new teeth, nor ones to be pulled, no sick tummies, scraped elbows or knees,
No big scary dogs to growl or to bite, & no stings from buzzing bumble bees.
No nap-time, no spankings, & no lima beans, no "boo-boos", no "uh-ohs", no tears
Just tiny faces wreathed in smiles, high-pitched squeals & happy giggles, & unbound excitement as their favorite time nears.
Storyhour's at hand, and as the Storyteller stands, amidst all of their laughter & joy.
Little feet scamper to feel His touch as He embraces each young girl & boy.
After kissing each tiny saint, He sits down among them, placing a child upon each knee.
And, softly, the Storyteller begins His story with the precious words
"Let the little children come unto me."
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