Dec. 1: Move outdoor gardens indoors.
Dec. 3: Scrub north face of house with Borax.
Dec. 4: Touch up trim in Yemen apartment.
Dec. 6: Weed indoor garden.
Dec. 7: 8:30 a.m. "Today" show appearancw w/ Bryant & Katie.
Dec. 9: 4:00 a.m. Montauk, Long Island. Catch giant tuna for dinner.
Dec. 10: Neuter pets and barnyard animals.
Dec. 11: Change glue in 55 glue guns.
Dec. 12: Bake, bake, bake.
Dec. 13: Sell, sell, sell.
Dec. 14: 8:30 a.m. "Today" show appearance. Grab Bryant under desk.
Dec. 16: Recipe-testing dinner for staff of "Chutzpa!" magazine.
Dec. 17: Make planters from used tractor trailer tires for New Jersey relatives.
Dec. 18: Make napkins, tablecloths, candles, and toothpicks for dinner guests.
Dec. 20: Realign branches on tree & glue.
Dec. 21: 8:30 a.m. "Today" show appearance. Exchange glares with Bryant.
Dec. 22: Stalk, shoot, gut, bleed & defeather turkeys. Baste overnight.
Dec. 25: Build creche. Play Mary.
Dec. 26: Start planning Christmas 2000.
Dec. 28: Call police to remove relatives from grounds.
Dec. 31: Harvest ice from pond for drinks.